quote[5] = new Array( "King Bowser Koopa: Ludwig, that's a mean, rotten, stinking, smelly, cruel idea. . . and so I love it!! Ha, ha, ha!" + "
- from Completion of an Evil Plot Chapter 1 (Act 9 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "MotherBrain: King Hippo, Eggplant Wizard, it's enough to drive me nuts!" + "
Eggplant Wizard: Nuts? Why won't it drive you vegetables?" + "
MotherBrain: (shocks Eggplant Wizard) I'm not talking about that kind of nuts, you confounded idiot!!" + "
- from Completion of an Evil Plot Chapter 1 (Act 9 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Prince Ludwig von Koopa: That just goes to show that you can't keep a rotten-to-the-core Koopa cooped down in Koopa Valley. . . or should I say eight rotten-to-the-core Koopas? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!" + "
- from Completion of an Evil Plot Chapter 1 (Act 9 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Princess Peach Toadstool: Don't you dare harm VideoLand, MotherBrain. Captain N will. . ." + "
MotherBrain: . . .not be able to do a single darned thing about it, Princess Mushstool of the Toadroom World! As we bump our gums, my idiots, Eggplant and Hippo, are in the process of taking care of those N-Team ignorami." + "
- from Completion of an Evil Plot Chapter 1 (Act 9 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "MotherBrain: It's certainly difficult to acquire slave labour these days." + "
King Bowser Koopa: Tell me about it. It's getting so we can't make a dishonest living anymore." + "
- from Completion of an Evil Plot Chapter 1 (Act 9 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Prince Larry Koopa: You know about everyone here in the Mushroom Kingdom, Dream Land, Sarasaland, Grass Land, Desert Land, and Water Land?" + "
King Bowser Koopa: Yeah. That area alone boasts a population of one hundred million Mushroomian citizens." + "
Larry: Not anymore! Now, it boasts a population of seventy-five million Tetris blocks, which all comprise my new castle, and twenty-five million citizens who are presently begging me and paying me tribute with all their worldly goods to restrain myself from making a spacious entry-hall to my castle! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!" + "
Bowser: Great!! Really rotten!! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!" + "
- from Completion of an Evil Plot Chapter 1 (Act 9 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Wendy Ostentatia Koopa: I hope this is important, King Dad. I was admiring myself." + "
- from Completion of an Evil Plot Chapter 1 (Act 9 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Prince Ludwig von Koopa: Ah! King Hippo and Eggplant Wizard. I bet you two bozos messed this up. . . as usual." + "
King Hippo: Oh, how would you know, stupid kid?" + "
Ludwig: (draws his sceptre and fries King Hippo) Watch whom you're calling stupid, you incompetent!!" + "
- from Completion of an Evil Plot Chapter 1 (Act 9 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "[Kid Icarus is at his station in the Palace of Power. He has the evening newspaper and is reading the top headline.]" + "
Kid Icarus: (about 200% shocked) Oh, my gosh! They're going to get married!" + "
Simon Belmont: No, we're not. I don't think I'll ever get Lana to fall in love with me." + "
Kid Icarus: That's not what I'm talking about, Simon." + "
Simon: Well, then, what are you talking about?" + "
Kid Icarus: The evening news says that King Bowser Koopa and MotherBrain are going to get married!" + "
Simon: How tacky. How could a bag of scales and a brain love one another?" + "
- from Completion of an Evil Plot Chapter 2 (Act 10 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Kevin Keene: Let's go to this wedding. If those crazy twits Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo are there, we'll probably have a laugh or two." + "
MegaMan: Ha, ha! If those two are there, we'll have mega-laughs galore!" + "
- from Completion of an Evil Plot Chapter 2 (Act 10 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Simon Belmont: Real men do not need target practice!" + "
- from Completion of an Evil Plot Chapter 2 (Act 10 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "MotherBrain: What do you three fools think you're doing?" + "
King Hippo: Uh, we were getting ready for the wedding just like you told us to, Your Maniacal Braininess." + "
MotherBrain: Then why were you fighting? I didn't tell you three fools you could fight!" + "
- from Completion of an Evil Plot Chapter 2 (Act 10 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Count Dracula: Fear makes blood taste terrible!" + "
Prince Larry Koopa: You should know. You are a vampire. However, you are not to bite the necks on the N-Team, Link, or Zelda." + "
Dracula: Do not worry. I only feed between ten at night and three in the morning." + "
- from Completion of an Evil Plot Chapter 2 (Act 10 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Simon Belmont: I have a pimple!! Never have I had a zit before!! The emotional scars could ruin me!!" + "
MegaMan: It's so small as to be nearly unnoticeable, Simon." + "
Simon: So!? It's still a zit!! So much for the formula Acme-Anti-Acne." + "
- from Completion of an Evil Plot Chapter 2 (Act 10 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "King Bowser Koopa: Mouser, get my suit jacket on me immediately!" + "
Mouser: Yes, King Bowser! [He puts the suit jacket on Bowser with absolute perfection.]" + "
Bowser: Very good, rodent! Later, I shall officially retract some of the nasty things I've said about you." + "
- from Completion of an Evil Plot Chapter 2 (Act 10 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Mario: Hm. Dracula's castle needs a face-lift. This place is drearier than Dark Land." + "
- from Completion of an Evil Plot Chapter 3 (Act 11 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Eggplant Wizard: Good day. I'm the Eggplant Wizard. Please excuse my stupidity. My employers inform me that I have no brain." + "
- from Completion of an Evil Plot Chapter 3 (Act 11 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "King Bowser Koopa: Ah, Mario-Team. I hope you'll pardon MotherBrain's associates. They're kind of on the brainless-wonder side." + "
- from Completion of an Evil Plot Chapter 3 (Act 11 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Simon Belmont: Say! Are you not Luigi and Mario, plumbers extraordinares?" + "
Mario: That we are. And you must be Simon Belmont, vampire-hunter extraordinare." + "
Simon: How correct you are. That is I. [He gets out his mirror and admires himself vainly.] I'm also pretty handsome. . . would you not agree, Kid Icarus?" + "
Kid Icarus: You're fully entitled to your own opinion, of course, Simon-ious." + "
- from Completion of an Evil Plot Chapter 3 (Act 11 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Kevin Keene: Seems as though you've had some hairy adventures." + "
Luigi: Quite hairy, almost as hairy as Ludwig's head." + "
- from Completion of an Evil Plot Chapter 3 (Act 11 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Mario: We just got out of Koopa's Neon Castle, which was a really crazy place." + "
Luigi: Yeah. Now, Neon Castle's in Yoshi's stomach!" + "
Kevin Keene: Oh? I didn't think Neon Castle would be such a small place." + "
Luigi: It's probably as large as Metroid. It's just that Yoshi's stomach is like a trash compactor." + "
- from Completion of an Evil Plot Chapter 3 (Act 11 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Prince Ludwig von Koopa: One whole day of being nice to those good guys, though, is killing me!" + "
King Bowser Koopa: Yes. Good thing the nice part's over. Ha, ha, ha!" + "
- from Completion of an Evil Plot Chapter 3 (Act 11 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "King Bowser Koopa: I must say that your castle appears a work of genius, Ludwig." + "
Prince Ludwig von Koopa: Well, it took me all morning to build." + "
- from Completion of an Evil Plot Chapter 3 (Act 11 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Prince Ludwig von Koopa: Now, write this down." + "
King Hippo: Oh. I ain't got a pen." + "
Ludwig: Then get one off the computer table, you idiot! Why do you think I have a surplus of pens there? Sheesh!" + "
King Hippo: Oh." + "
- from Completion of an Evil Plot Chapter 3 (Act 11 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "MotherBrain: Why do you not do anything correctly?" + "
Eggplant Wizard: Me? I'm just an incompetent, illiterate vegetable." + "
- from Completion of an Evil Plot Chapter 4 (Act 12 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Eggplant Wizard: Do the rutabaga! Cha-cha-cha!" + "
MotherBrain: Shut up, you worm-eaten vegetable!" + "
- from Completion of an Evil Plot Chapter 4 (Act 12 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Princess Wendy Ostentatia Koopa: (to Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo) Listen, you two! If I break my fingernails while being angry at you, it will be your fault!" + "
- from Perry Mason in The Case of the Tetris Puzzler Chapter 1 (Act 13 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Princess Wendy Ostentatia Koopa: Think you can manage that?" + "
Eggplant Wizard: You've got it, Princess 'Kootie Pie'!" + "
King Hippo: No sooner screamed than done, Princess Wendy!" + "
- from Perry Mason in The Case of the Tetris Puzzler Chapter 1 (Act 13 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Princess Wendy Ostentatia Koopa: Oh, MotherBrain! What would you say if I told you that Hippo and Eggplant did something right for a change?" + "
MotherBrain: Without proof, I'd say you were thoroughly nuts." + "
- from Perry Mason in The Case of the Tetris Puzzler Chapter 1 (Act 13 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "MotherBrain: (speaking of Eggplant Wizard) You haven't seen the stupidest creature in the universe until you've seen that fool." + "
Eggplant Wizard: (offended) I am not a creature! I am an incompetent vegetable!" + "
- from Perry Mason in The Case of the Tetris Puzzler Chapter 1 (Act 13 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Princess Wendy Ostentatia Koopa: Hee, hee, hee! Hippo did this right without that stupid Eggplant!" + "
King Hippo: Yes. It is probably this incompetent Eggplant Wizard who keeps making me mess up. [Angrily, Eggplant Wizard pops King Hippo on the arm without daunting him a bit.] Oh, yeah? [In retaliation, King Hippo bashes Eggplant Wizard in the eye and sends him flying into the wall. All the way, a zillion vegetables pop out of Eggplant Wizard.]" + "
MotherBrain: Quit playing, you immature brats!!" + "
- from Perry Mason in The Case of the Tetris Puzzler Chapter 1 (Act 13 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Eggplant Wizard: Aha! I have an idea!" + "
Prince Ludwig von Koopa: Somehow, that statement seems most incongruous coming from you." + "
- from Perry Mason in The Case of the Tetris Puzzler Chapter 1 (Act 13 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Eggplant Wizard: How about we kidnap Princess Lana and make it look as if Simon did it?" + "
Prince Ludwig von Koopa: No, garbage-face! It would never work. Hm! It might be good that we abduct Lana and manipulate the circumstances to have it seem as though Simon Belmont committed the act." + "
MotherBrain: Yes! Great idea, Ludwig." + "
Ludwig: I am so glad that I thought of it!" + "
King Bowser Koopa: Yes! Wonderful idea, Ludwig." + "
Eggplant Wizard: (sarcastically) Of course, Prince Ludwig, no one can be as intelligent as you are." + "
- from Perry Mason in The Case of the Tetris Puzzler Chapter 1 (Act 13 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Prince Ludwig von Koopa: Behold my instant-hypnosis machine, my invention of the quarter-hour." + "
- from Perry Mason in The Case of the Tetris Puzzler Chapter 1 (Act 13 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Prince Ludwig von Koopa: (holding a new invention) Eggplant Wizard, I need a guinea pig." + "
Eggplant Wizard: (noting the look in Ludwig's eyes) Well, then, get a guinea pig! I'm getting out of here!! (runs for dear life)" + "
Ludwig: Too much waste of money for something that can't cause brain-damage, though that's of no consequence where Eggie is concerned." + "
- from Perry Mason in The Case of the Tetris Puzzler Chapter 1 (Act 13 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "MotherBrain: (referring to Eggplant Wizard, who has been hypnotised to act like a chicken) Okay. We can do without the featherbrain acting like a featherhead." + "
- from Perry Mason in The Case of the Tetris Puzzler Chapter 1 (Act 13 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Kid Icarus: (laughing) Hamilton Burger-cus sounds as though he ought to be a hamburger! Hee, hee!" + "
Mario: Well, sometimes he acts like it, Kid Icarus." + "
- from Perry Mason in The Case of the Tetris Puzzler Chapter 1 (Act 13 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Morton 'Big Mouth' Koopa: What an idea! I can yak tall tales to the jury!" + "
- from Perry Mason in The Case of the Tetris Puzzler Chapter 1 (Act 13 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Princess Lana Deschain: What was that noise I just heard?" + "
MegaMan: Either my senses are failing me, or that was MotherBrain mega-yelling at the mega-stupid Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo." + "
Lana: If she can't stand them, why does she employ them?" + "
MegaMan: It's simple: mega-cheap labour!" + "
Lana: I believe that!" + "
- from Perry Mason in The Case of the Tetris Puzzler Chapter 2 (Act 14 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Prince Ludwig von Koopa: (referring to Morton) Please excuse my little brother. He gets on a roll quite easily. Too easily, in fact, for the benefit of his health." + "
- from Perry Mason in The Case of the Tetris Puzzler Chapter 2 (Act 14 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Prince Ludwig von Koopa: Come on, Mario. Not even a Koopa can be all bad." + "
Luigi: He has a point, Mario." + "
Mario: (raising his right eyebrow at Luigi) Oh, really?" + "
- from Perry Mason in The Case of the Tetris Puzzler Chapter 2 (Act 14 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Prince Morton 'Big Mouth' Koopa: (in the process of kidnapping Princess Peach) Peach, you've been putting on weight! No more midnight mushroom pizzas for you!" + "
- from Perry Mason in The Case of the Tetris Puzzler Chapter 2 (Act 14 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Prince Ludwig von Koopa: Do not count your mushrooms before they are sautéed!" + "
- from Perry Mason in The Case of the Tetris Puzzler Chapter 3 (Act 15 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "[Eggplant [Wizard] tosses several string beans into the air.]" + "
MegaMan: Ha, ha! Is that supposed to frighten us? [The string beans all magically open up to form a net, which entraps MegaMan and GameBoy.] Whoa!" + "
GameBoy: (speaking in his normal monotone) Veggie-net appears to be effective." + "
- from Perry Mason in The Case of the Tetris Puzzler Chapter 3 (Act 15 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Lieutenant Arthur Tragg: Seems that Ludwig was lying to protect his accursèd image in public. Though, at this point, I don't see why he'd be concerned about that." + "
- from Perry Mason in The Case of the Tetris Puzzler Chapter 3 (Act 15 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "MotherBrain: That evidence will be so convincing. . . and so convicting! Ha, ha, ha!" + "
- from Perry Mason in The Case of the Tetris Puzzler Chapter 3 (Act 15 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "MotherBrain: (addressing Princess Lana with unusual and seemingly sincere deference) Ah, Thy Highness. Thou gracest us with thy presence." + "
Princess Lana Deschain: Cut the sweet talk. We are come to search, not chat." + "
- from Perry Mason in The Case of the Tetris Puzzler Chapter 3 (Act 15 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Mother of King Bowser Koopa: Wait up! I'm going, too!" + "
Bowser: But. . ." + "
Bowser's Mother: Oh, I'm so glad you approve, Bowser. Let's go." + "
- from Perry Mason in The Case of the Tetris Puzzler Chapter 3 (Act 15 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Princess Lana Deschain: The court shall come to order." + "
Eggplant Wizard: Okay. I'll have an eggplant sandwich, hold the pickles." + "
Lana: (as everyone else in the courtroom laughs, except for [Perry] Mason and the Brain-Team) We require no comic relief." + "
- from Perry Mason in The Case of the Tetris Puzzler Chapter 3 (Act 15 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Mario: Those bad guys have not learned that it is unwise to perform illegal activities with the N-Team around." + "
- from Perry Mason in The Case of the Tetris Puzzler Chapter 3 (Act 15 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Wendy Ostentatia Koopa: Then, Simon Ring-mont, GameBrat, Dr. Wrong, and MaggotMan showed up and switched back our brains!" + "
- from Perry Mason in The Case of the Tetris Puzzler Chapter 3 (Act 15 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Pernicus, the arrow-maker: Kid Icarus! What are you two mean - and quite disgusting - reptiles doing to my friend?" + "
Roy Koopa: We're capturing him. . . and don't call us disgusting!" + "
- from Perry Mason in The Case of the Tetris Puzzler Chapter 3 (Act 15 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "MotherBrain: Soon, Captain N will be Captain N no longer. Then we Koopas, excellent-looking gods and goddesses whom we are, will be the rulers of the Milky Way Galaxy! Ha, ha, ha!" + "
Prince Ludwig von Koopa: Yes. Then I shall despotically control this galaxy! Hee, hee, hee!" + "
King Hippo: I'll still be captain of a battle-cruiser starship, won't I?" + "
MotherBrain: Of course. A promise is a promise. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! (thinking to herself) Until it's broken, that is!" + "
- from Perry Mason in The Case of the Tetris Puzzler Chapter 3 (Act 15 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Mouser: Ah, why do we have nice rooms prepared for do-gooders?" + "
MotherBrain: The expression 'special accommodations' does not necessarily refer to nice rooms, you idiot. Ludwig was talking about the dungeon in Brinstar." + "
Mouser: Oh. Sorry, MB." + "
MotherBrain: And well you should be!" + "
- from Perry Mason in The Case of the Tetris Puzzler Chapter 3 (Act 15 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Perry Mason: (referring to Eggplant Wizard) Now, I should like to call this vegetable whom I have asked the bailiff kindly to uproot from his jail cell and to harvest in here to the stand." + "
- from Perry Mason in The Case of the Tetris Puzzler Chapter 4 (Act 16 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Judge Princess Lana Deschain: Escort the vegetable to the witness stand, please, bailiff." + "
Bailiff Simon Belmont: My pleasure, Thine Honour. [He tosses Eggplant Wizard towards the chair. When Eggplant lands in the chair, dozens of eggplants pop out of him.]" + "
Lana: That exceedingly diverting scenario was unnecessary, but please proceed." + "
- from Perry Mason in The Case of the Tetris Puzzler Chapter 4 (Act 16 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Simon Belmont: That Ludwig von Koopa gives bad guys a bad name." + "
- from Perry Mason in The Case of the Tetris Puzzler Chapter 4 (Act 16 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Prince Ludwig von Koopa: Interesting! You would risk your life to save a pile of stones and burnt and dead villagers?" + "
Link Chance: (surveys the town in shock) What have you done, you creep?" + "
Ludwig: (grins nastily. . . very nastily) I have merely made some overdue changes in town. . . changes which were overdue since your ancestor had defeated Ganon!" + "
Link: Why, you rotten Koopaling!" + "
Ludwig: Merely 'rotten'? You insult me, Link Chance! That should be 'rotten-to-the-core'!" + "
- from Perry Mason in The Case of the Tetris Puzzler Chapter 4 (Act 16 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Mario: You never play fair, you sinister reptile." + "
Prince Ludwig von Koopa: That is false. I fight by my own rules, plumber." + "
- from Perry Mason in The Case of the Tetris Puzzler Chapter 4 (Act 16 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Mouser: Ha, ha, ha! You've been meatballed, boss! Ho, ho, ho! You're facing a crushing defeat! Ha, ha, ha!" + "
Prince Ludwig von Koopa: (trapped under a giant meatball) Why, you idiot! When I get my claws on you, I shall rip you into cheese-slices!" + "
- from Perry Mason in The Case of the Tetris Puzzler Chapter 4 (Act 16 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Mario: What is the leadership of the Koopa Fleet doing out here?" + "
King Bowser Koopa: Oh, we were just going to do a teeny bit of damage. . . like destroying that hunk of metal and marble that you Nit-wit-Teamsters call the Palace of Power! Ha, ha, ha!" + "
Princess Lana Deschain: You will never destroy this castle with those chunks of wood you call Doomships, Koopa-Stoopa!" + "
- from Perry Mason in The Case of the Tetris Puzzler Chapter 5 (Act 17 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Prince Ludwig von Koopa: King Hippo, fire at will!" + "
King Hippo: Uh, there's no Will to fire at. Can I fire at Kevin or Mario?" + "
Ludwig: Ooh! Just fire already, you lousy excuse for an evil-doer!" + "
- from Perry Mason in The Case of the Tetris Puzzler Chapter 5 (Act 17 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Try-Clyde: I'm sorry, Your Highness!" + "
Prince Ludwig von Koopa: You most certainly are, you idiot!" + "
- from Perry Mason in The Case of the Tetris Puzzler Chapter 5 (Act 17 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Hamilton Burger: Now, King Hippo, I ask thee. . ." + "
King Hippo: (interrupting, in distress) Yes, it's all true! I did it! I framed Captain N! Watch the tape!" + "
Judge Princess Lana Deschain: The witness will refrain from making any more such outbursts." + "
King Hippo: I admit my guilt!" + "
Prince Ludwig von Koopa: (stands) Pardon me, Thine Honour, but if I might be recalled to the stand, I could clarify a few matters in a more dignified fashion." + "
- from Perry Mason in The Case of the Tetris Puzzler Chapter 5 (Act 17 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "MotherBrain: (to Ned and Cheryl Keene) Yes, I am the delightfully disgusting, evil MotherBrain against whom your son fights so valiantly. If you will kindly proceed to remove him from VideoLand permanently, my extremely evil stepson and I shall proceed to take over the whole universe!" + "
- from Perry Mason in The Case of the Tetris Puzzler Chapter 5 (Act 17 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "MotherBrain: Ludwig, who is the most beautiful of them all?" + "
Prince Ludwig von Koopa: You, my dear MotherBrain. Who else is the beauty queen of the universe?" + "
MotherBrain: That's right! If anyone says otherwise, I shall personally remove their lying tongue!" + "
Hamilton Burger: (smiles smugly) Otherwise." + "
- from Perry Mason in The Case of the Tetris Puzzler Chapter 6 (Act 18 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "MotherBrain: I think that we bad guys ought to win some of the time!" + "
- from Perry Mason in The Case of the Tetris Puzzler Chapter 6 (Act 18 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "King Hippo: Go on a diet." + "
Mario: And ruin my figure? No way!" + "
- from Perry Mason in The Case of the Tetris Puzzler Chapter 6 (Act 18 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Prince Ludwig von Koopa: (to Mario and Luigi) What are you uncivilised pasta freaks doing in my humble abode?" + "
- from Perry Mason in The Case of the Tetris Puzzler Chapter 6 (Act 18 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Prince Ludwig von Koopa: It was a priceless experiment!" + "
Luigi: (joking) I'm glad it was not worth anything! Heh, heh, heh!" + "
Ludwig: You are either unimaginably stupid or too jocular for your own good!" + "
- from Perry Mason in The Case of the Tetris Puzzler Chapter 6 (Act 18 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "MotherBrain: Those pip-squeaks always interfere. That is your fault, Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo!" + "
Eggplant Wizard: (getting gumption) Our fault? You two are the ones messing up!" + "
Prince Ludwig von Koopa: Do not speak to MotherBrain in that manner, you disloyal vegetable! Speak not that way unless you want to be fried eggplant!" + "
Eggplant Wizard: Have you any right to talk to me that way?" + "
Ludwig: Shut up, you idiot!! [He fries Eggplant Wizard with his Koopa-Sceptre.] Hast thou any foolish objections to our rightful authority, King Hippo!?" + "
King Hippo: (not entirely innocent of the charge) Who, me? No way, your regal Koopa-ness." + "
Ludwig: Wise decision. That has a much better ring to it. I shall reward your loyalty once I find a powerful battleship for you to command." + "
- from Perry Mason in The Case of the Tetris Puzzler Chapter 6 (Act 18 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Eggplant Wizard: You wouldn't count on me? I'm insulted!" + "
Prince Ludwig von Koopa: Good." + "
- from Perry Mason in The Case of the Tetris Puzzler Chapter 6 (Act 18 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Prince Ludwig von Koopa: Allow me to lay out MotherBrain's and my devious plan of conquest." + "
King Bowser Koopa: This sounds good already." + "
- from Perry Mason in The Case of the Tetris Puzzler Chapter 6 (Act 18 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "[Mario swings out his leg and trips Mouser. Mouser flings the box [of time-tubes] accidentally.]" + "
Prince Ludwig von Koopa: Someone grab that box!! [MotherBrain grabs the box with her tentacles and stops it from hitting the floor.] Whew!" + "
Eggplant Wizard: (sarcastically) What's the matter? Aren't you going to fry Mouser for 'trying to drop' your time-tubes?" + "
Ludwig: Shut up, you bloody idiot!" + "
- from Perry Mason in The Case of the Tetris Puzzler Chapter 6 (Act 18 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Prince Ludwig von Koopa: I relish the day when I may see you defeated." + "
Kevin Keene: I'll try not to take that too personally." + "
- from Perry Mason in The Case of the Tetris Puzzler Chapter 6 (Act 18 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Prince Ludwig von Koopa: Your room still looks like a pigsty, my mischievous little brothers!" + "
Lemmy Koopa: But that's unimportant, right? (referring to the N-Team) We came up with a plan concerning them." + "
Ludwig: Oh, really? I'll determine the relative importance myself." + "
- from Perry Mason in The Case of the Tetris Puzzler Chapter 6 (Act 18 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Prince Ludwig von Koopa: (to Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo) Look, fools, get this task done correctly, or you are out of a job! Not to mention a life." + "
- from Perry Mason in The Case of the Tetris Puzzler Chapter 6 (Act 18 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Mother of King Bowser Koopa: Don't be mean to my bad boy, Captain N! That's my job!" + "
- from Perry Mason in The Case of the Tetris Puzzler Chapter 6 (Act 18 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "MegaMan: It's the Koopas!" + "
King Bowser Koopa: You were expecting maybe Donkey Kong?" + "
Kid Icarus: There was always the hope. I suppose we'll have to stop you now." + "
- from Perry Mason in The Case of the Tetris Puzzler Chapter 6 (Act 18 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Eggplant Wizard: Well, Ludwig, O evil boss, I have your royal lunch ready, all covered in tartar sauce!" + "
Prince Ludwig von Koopa: A burnt hamburger smothered with tartar sauce and presented with an awful rhyme? It stinks, you dolt!!" + "
- from "The Terrible Secret" (Act 19 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Eggplant Wizard: Want a burger with tartar sauce, King Koop?" + "
King Bowser Koopa: A burger with tartar sauce? How disgusting! Get rid of it before I squish you. . . now! [He draws his sceptre, and Eggplant Wizard runs.]" + "
- from "The Terrible Secret" (Act 19 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "MotherBrain: Another day, another mirror." + "
- from Nightmare on von Koopa Street Chapter 1 (Act 20 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Morton 'Big Mouth' Koopa: Turn me back to normal, Eggplant Wizard, or your name will become Eggplant Soufflé, and I'll talk and talk and talk your blasted ears off!" + "
- from Nightmare on von Koopa Street Chapter 1 (Act 20 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Morton 'Big Mouth' Koopa: What is the matter, Captain N? Do you not like fairy tales? You remember this one. The beautiful princess eats the poison apple and falls into a deep sleep." + "
King Bowser Koopa: Then, the handsome prince - that must be you, who are the least physically repugnant N-Team member - must kiss her and awaken her out of the evil spell." + "
Kevin Keene: Out of new ideas, MotherBrain?" + "
MotherBrain: This may be old, but it has a new twist." + "
- from Nightmare on von Koopa Street Chapter 1 (Act 20 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "MotherBrain: I am not ugly, Captain N. I'm just drawn that way." + "
- from Nightmare on von Koopa Street Chapter 1 (Act 20 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Simon Belmont: I am the most handsome, so I must find the princess and kiss her." + "
Kid Icarus: Says who? Your mirror must distort images. Kevin's the most handsome, Simon!" + "
- from Nightmare on von Koopa Street Chapter 1 (Act 20 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "King Hippo: Aw, MotherBrain! Do you really think that we can pull this off? Maybe there are others who are more qualified for a job such as this." + "
MotherBrain: Oh, of course! Thank you, King Hippo! I was about to make a terrible mistake." + "
- from Nightmare on von Koopa Street Chapter 1 (Act 20 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Wendy Ostentatia Koopa: As long as I get what I want, I won't complain." + "
- from Nightmare on von Koopa Street Chapter 1 (Act 20 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Lemmy Koopa: (to the N-Team) Good-bye, foul-weather enemies!" + "
- from Nightmare on von Koopa Street Chapter 1 (Act 20 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Mario: The evil Prince Baron Ludwig von(Bowser)Koopa! I might have known that you had something to do with this latest deed of foul-doing!" + "
Prince Ludwig von Koopa: Ah, yes." + "
- from Nightmare on von Koopa Street Chapter 1 (Act 20 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Link Chance: Thank you, Kevin! I thought that I was going to be a hero sandwich for that Moblin." + "
- from Nightmare on von Koopa Street Chapter 2 (Act 21 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Prince Ludwig von Koopa: (in reference to his family and himself) Of course, we're so gorgeous that even a novice painter would create a masterpiece in painting a portrait of any one of us." + "
- from Nightmare on von Koopa Street Chapter 2 (Act 21 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Prince Larry Koopa: Oh, Ludwig, you are such a genius!" + "
Prince Ludwig von Koopa: I try, Larry. I try." + "
- from Nightmare on von Koopa Street Chapter 2 (Act 21 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Prince Ludwig von Koopa: Peyew! What is that awful stink? [The fire alarms all go off!] There's a fire! [Suddenly, the alarms shut off. Eggplant Wizard comes in with a plate with an extremely burnt taco.]" + "
Eggplant Wizard: Well, Ludwig, the only way I could tell that your taco was hot enough was by going by the fire alarms." + "
[Ludwig picks up the putrid excuse for Mexican sustenance. After regarding it with a frown for a moment, he then drops the very hot taco back on the plate.]" + "
Ludwig: (thinking to himself) This is worse than the hamburger in tartar sauce. (speaking aloud) No, thanks. I like hot food, but this is ridiculous. Feed it to someone else." + "
[King Hippo floats into the room with his nose inhaling a trail of smoke from the taco.]" + "
King Hippo: Mmm! Food! (falls on the floor) Give me that taco, Eggplant Wizard, or. . ." + "
Eggplant Wizard: (hands him the plate) Take it." + "
King Hippo: Ah! Thanks! [King Hippo tosses the taco up in the air. He holds his mouth open, eyes closed, and the taco falls into it and goes straight to his belly.] Mmm! Yummy! [Suddenly, his eyes pop open and turn red, and smoke comes out of his ears.] Yaaah! Hot, hot, hot!!! Water! Water!! Water!!! (goes to the water fountain and drinks about four litres of water) Ah! Much better! Eggie, you sure know how to make a taco! Heh, heh!" + "
- from Nightmare on von Koopa Street Chapter 2 (Act 21 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Eggplant Wizard: MotherBrain and Ludwig are going to kill us!" + "
King Hippo: Forget MotherBrain and Ludwig! If we don't beat it, we're going to wind up in the Palace Jail!" + "
Eggplant Wizard: Good point! Let's get out of here!!" + "
- from Nightmare on von Koopa Street Chapter 2 (Act 21 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Mario: First a Magikoopa, then a Wizzrobe. A plumber's work is never done." + "
- from Nightmare on von Koopa Street Chapter 3 (Act 22 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Simon Belmont: The Count Dracula! Drop dead, you diabolical deadbeat!" + "
- from Nightmare on von Koopa Street Chapter 3 (Act 22 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Hamilton Burger: Perry, I keep wondering how you know what Kevin's dog is saying!" + "
Perry Mason: And I keep telling you, Kevin taught me. Somehow, he can understand Duke. Maybe it is some mysterious trait swimming in the deep end of his gene pool." + "
Hamilton: Great figure of speech, Perry." + "
- from Nightmare on von Koopa Street Chapter 3 (Act 22 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Wisenheimer, a Koopa Wizard: Don't you see, King Bowser? I had to do it so that you could take over VideoLand!" + "
King Bowser Koopa: If you had any different excuse for your actions, I would destroy you on the spot!" + "
- from Nightmare on von Koopa Street Chapter 3 (Act 22 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Eggplant Wizard: What is your command, King Bowser the Simply Awful?" + "
King Bowser Koopa: Ah! I love it when people address me so properly." + "
- from Nightmare on von Koopa Street Chapter 3 (Act 22 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "King Bowser Koopa: Imagine, the ultimate humiliation of having LDSK carved in one's king suit! It's enough to drive one stark raving bonkers! Eggplant Wizard, can you sew?" + "
Eggplant Wizard: No." + "
Bowser: Why, you stupid little son of a. . .!!" + "
King Hippo: (interrupting) I won a quilting bee once. I can repair your royal suit." + "
Bowser: Very well. Get to work." + "
- from Wedding, Triforce-Capture, and Reunification Chapter 1 (Act 23 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Princess Lana Deschain: What do you want, MotherBrain?" + "
MotherBrain: (communicating via hologram) What do I want? I want to fry your hides and take control of VideoLand! Good-bye! [Her hologram disappears.]" + "
Princess Zelda Harkinian: Do you suppose she's upset?" + "
King Spike Koopa: She's just like my brother, Bowser, and his seven Koopa brats." + "
- from Wedding, Triforce-Capture, and Reunification Chapter 1 (Act 23 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Eggplant Wizard: You know, if we mess this up, Ludwig might fry the both of us!" + "
King Hippo: Not if I fry you first!" + "
- from Wedding, Triforce-Capture, and Reunification Chapter 1 (Act 23 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "King Bowser Koopa: Morton, commence the game sequence entitled, 'Get Rid of the N-Team!' Ha, ha, ha, ha! Winner receives fifteen thousand VideoLandian pounds!" + "
- from Wedding, Triforce-Capture, and Reunification Chapter 2 (Act 24 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Mouser: Where do you think you are going, N-Team pests?" + "
Kevin Keene: We're going to MotherBrain and getting back the Triforces." + "
Koopa-Troopa: Well, you're out of luck. She isn't taking visitors." + "
- from Wedding, Triforce-Capture, and Reunification Chapter 2 (Act 24 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "King Bowser Koopa: (screaming) They did what?!?" + "
Mouser: They grabbed our laser sabres." + "
Bowser: Shut up, you bag of mouldy cheese-breath!!" + "
- from Wedding, Triforce-Capture, and Reunification Chapter 2 (Act 24 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "King Bowser Koopa: (to the N-Team) Now, do you want to leave in peace, or do you want to leave in pieces?" + "
- from Wedding, Triforce-Capture, and Reunification Chapter 2 (Act 24 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Eggplant Wizard: Please don't hurt me!" + "
- from Wedding, Triforce-Capture, and Reunification Chapter 2 (Act 24 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "MotherBrain: You two good-for-nothing idiots! You would forget your bitty brains if they were not sewn into your heads!" + "
Eggplant Wizard: Sorry, MotherBrain. This idiot keeps getting in my way!" + "
King Hippo: What are you talking about, you repugnant vegetable? You are the one who is always messing up!" + "
Prince Ludwig von(Bowser)Koopa: Enough, you two dumdums!" + "
- from "The Near Victory of the Brain-Team" (Act 25 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "King Hippo: It's the N-Team!" + "
MotherBrain: Thank you, Sherlock Hippos." + "
- from "The Near Victory of the Brain-Team" (Act 25 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Prince Ludwig von(Bowser)Koopa: (speaking of Hamilton Burger) We'll have that prosecuting buffoon before he can say, 'I object, Thine Honour!' Ha, ha, ha!" + "
- from "The Case of The Prosecutor-turned-Defender" (Act 26 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "King Bowser Koopa: Such brain-children I've brought up, MotherBrain." + "
Bowser's Mother: (warping in) Right, for once. They surely do not take after you, you fool!" + "
Bowser: Mama! What a wonderful surprise! I didn't know that you were coming for a visit, or I would have. . ." + "
Bowser's Mother: Can the pleasantries, Bowser. If I wanted to gab with someone, I would have gone to the gossip fence back home." + "
- from "The Case of The Prosecutor-turned-Defender" (Act 26 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "MotherBrain: My lips are zipped!" + "
Morton 'Big Mouth' (Bowser)Koopa: So are mine! I won't say a word. Not one single word! It's none of my never-mind where Hamilton Burger's brain is. It is not I who should tell you. I don't go poking my nose in other people's business. . . nosirree. [Secretly, Lt. Tragg activates his portable tape recorder.] I am not telling you that Larry put Hamilton Burger to sleep on Zebes and brought him here so Ludwig could transfer brains with him and go, in Hamilton's body, back to Zebes and murder someone. It was not my idea. Hamilton Burger's brain is in Ludwig's body. Ludwig's brain is in Hamilton Burger's body. Hamilton Burger's body is in your stinking police department, and Ludwig's body is in his bedroom here on Metroid. But, as I said, I won't say a word. . . not one single word. [MotherBrain rolls her eyes.]" + "
- from "The Case of The Prosecutor-turned-Defender" (Act 26 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "[The phone on Perry's desk emits three loud rings.]" + "
Perry Mason: Well, here comes. . ." + "
Lieutenant Arthur Tragg: (entering with Lieutenant Anderson) Here come Lieutenant Arthur Tragg and Lieutenant Andy Anderson. I suppose you wonder why we came here. Paul would have reported to you that we were coming, but we regret that we had to detain him at headquarters so he couldn't." + "
- from "The Case of The Prosecutor-turned-Defender" (Act 26 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Prosecutor Carl Snell: (screaming) I object!!" + "
Judge Princess Lana Deschain: Overruled! Thou hast a seat, Mr. Snell. Must we use crazy-glue to make thee use it?" + "
- from "The Case of The Prosecutor-turned-Defender" (Act 26 of WHATSE), by yours truly", "Defence Attorney Jackson: I take it thou enjoyest thy nominal embellishments?" + "
Prince Ludwig von(Bowser)Koopa: Well, it's my full name, Mr. Jackson. Some day, I'll just shorten it to 'Emperor Ludwig.'" + "
- from "The Case of The Prosecutor-turned-Defender" (Act 26 of WHATSE), by yours truly" );