Throne Room, Palace of Power, VideoLand.

The N-Team had just returned the Sacred Square to the Chamber of Tetris.  Lana was congratulating all.  "All of you have proven worthy of being members of the N-Team," she said.

            Mario said, "Oh, that's all right, Princess Lana.  We just like knowing that we helped you.  You don't have to worry about putting us into your N-Team."

            "No, I mean it," Lana said.  "You have all done a great job in getting rid of those pains-in-the-brain."

            "Thanks, Princess Lana," said Luigi.

            "Mario, I grant you the Platinum Medal of Honour, for helping us the most in beating that wicked Ludwig."  She gave him the medal.

            Mario said, "Gee, Princess Lana, thank you."  Everyone in the room except Mario applauded.

            "Luigi, you get the Gold Medal of Honour."

            After she had given him the medal, Luigi said, "Thank you, Princess."  Everyone applauded Luigi.

            "Toad, Princess Peach Toadstool, Yoshi, Princess Zelda, Link, Samus Aran, and Dr. Wright, you are welcome to join the N-Team as well, with Silver Medals of Honour."  She gave them all their medals.

            Toad said, "Well, I'll be!  Thanks, Princess Lana!"

            "Yes!" Princess Peach agreed.  "Thank you, Lana."

            Yoshi said, "Thanks, Princess Lana!"

            * * *

            Control Room, Tourian, Metroid, VideoLand.

            Meanwhile, on the sinister, brain-shaped world of Metroid, MotherBrain and Ludwig were watching on the monitor.  "Yuck!" said Ludwig.  "How disgusting!"

            MotherBrain shouted, "It's all your fault!"

            "Sorry."

            In a nice voice, she said, "Oh!  I'm sorry."  Back to her mean voice, which she directed to Eggplant and Hippo, MotherBrain continued, "I was talking to Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo!  Well, what do you two entirely incompetent nimrods have to say for yourselves?"

            Eggplant Wizard whined, "I didn't mean it, MotherBrain!"

            "I didn't mean it, MotherBrain!" whined King Hippo.

            "Shut up, you two!  You two incompetents can do nothing right!  Anyway, we haven't done anything rotten in a long time. . . not since three hours ago."

            Ludwig said, "Yes.  Not doing anything rotten for three hours gets to me."

            King Koopa entered in his kingly suit. . . a black suit with a red bow-tie and a red cape.  "Well, what do you two think?"

            "Looks great on you, Bowser," MotherBrain said.

            "Most certainly," agreed Ludwig.

            A tomato accidentally popped out of Eggplant Wizard onto King Bowser Koopa's suit.  "Oops!" said Eggplant Wizard.

            "You idiot!" said Bowser.  "Look what you did to my suit!  You've ruined it!"

            "It was an accident, King Bowser!  You must believe me!"

            "Oh yeah?"  King Koopa drew his sceptre on Eggplant Wizard.  "I shall give you an accident on purpose, you buffoon!"  Koopa fried Eggplant Wizard with his sceptre.

            "YAAAAAH!!!"

            "Oh, shut up!"

            When King Koopa had stopped, Eggplant said, "Whew!  Thanks, Bowser!"

            "Grrr!"  Koopa grabbed Eggplant Wizard by the upper arms and held him up into the air.  "Call me King Bowser or King Koopa from now on!  Do you understand me, you infinite idiot?"

            Eggplant Wizard said, "I understand you, King Koopa!"

            "Okay, garbage face."  Koopa flung Eggplant Wizard on the ground.

            "Thanks for sparing me, King Koopa!"

            Ludwig said, "Well, let's try something another day.  -Yawn!-  I'm tired."

            MotherBrain said, "I'm - yawn! - tired, too, Ludwig.  Let's retire to our chambers."  That they did.

            * * *

            July 19.

            Princess Wendy O. 'Kootie Pie' Koopa's Chamber, Metroid.

            The next morning, Wendy began thinking.  Like her teammates on the Brain-Team, she despised the N-Team already.  She had an idea.  "The N-Team members think they can make fools of us, do they?  Well, I shall show them!  Eggplant!  Hippo!  Get your fat selves in here!"

            Eggplant Wizard ran in with King Hippo.  "What is it, Princess Wendy?"

            "I want you and your tubby friend to grab me that Sacred Square."

            King Hippo said, "But, Princess Wendy, we cannot get the key!"

            Wendy put her left hand over her face.  "Why is MotherBrain cursed with these idiots?" she asked herself in French.  She pointed at the two with the index finger of her left hand, though she was right-handed.  In English, she snapped, "Listen, you two!  If I break my fingernails while being angry at you two, it will be your fault!"

            Eggplant Wizard asked, "How do we get in, Princess Wendy?"

            Wendy showed them Prince Lyle in the monitor in her compact.  "Look.  Prince Lyle is getting ready to do his daily rounds.  I want you to knock him out, grab the key, go into the vault where the Sacred Square is hidden, use your Brussels-sprouts-blowtorch to unseal the force holding the Sacred Square, pull out the Sacred Square, order it to keep Tetris World from crumbling, and warp back here to me with the goods!  Eggie, put in a fake yellow square in the place of the Sacred Square afterwards.  Think you can manage that?"

            "You've got it, Princess 'Kootie Pie'!"

            King Hippo said, "No sooner screamed than done, Princess Wendy!"

            "Good," said Wendy.  "Now, get going."

            Eggplant Wizard said, "Yes, ma'am."  They opened the warp zone from Wendy's room on Metroid to the building with the Sacred Square.  They entered that warp and waited for Prince Lyle in the bushes in front of the Chamber of Tetris.

            King Hippo said, "Here he comes, Eggie!  And he's carrying the Sacred Square!"

            "Yeah," said Eggplant Wizard.  "Let's K.O. him, steal the block and the key, and make off!"

            "That sounds easier than Princess 'Kootie Pie's' version!  Let's do it!"  As Prince Lyle approached, he got out the key to put into the lock on the door.  Just then, King Hippo and Eggplant Wizard popped out of the bushes.  "Hey, Lyle!  Stop right there!"  Hippo bashed Prince Lyle between the eyes, knocking him out.  Eggplant Wizard grabbed the key, King Hippo grabbed the Sacred Square, and they ran into the warp zone back to Wendy's room on Metroid.

            After he and King Hippo emerged, Eggplant said, "We did it, Princess 'Kootie Pie'!  We got the key and the Sacred Square."

            "I cannot believe it!  You two actually did something right for a change!" Wendy said.

            Eggplant Wizard said, "Does this mean that you aren't going to fry our geese?"

            "Exactly.  Wait until I tell MotherBrain how you did!"

            * * *

            Control Room, Metroid.

            A short time later, Wendy entered the control room.  "Oh, MotherBrain!  What would you say if I told you that Hippo and Eggplant did something right for a change?"

            MotherBrain said, "Without proof, I'd say you were thoroughly nuts."

            To Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo, who were outside the door, Wendy called, "Okay, guys!  Bring it in!"  Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo brought in the Sacred Square.  MotherBrain's jaw dropped near the bottom of her jar.

            "I. . . I. . . I. . ."

            "They stole it for me from that stupid geek, Prince Lyle.  They also got his key to the Chamber of Tetris!"

            "I cannot believe my eyes!  You mean to say that they stole the Sacred Square on the first attempt?"

            "Yes."

            "Hee, hee, hee!"

            Ludwig entered.  "Good morning, MotherBrain and my sister!"

            MotherBrain greeted, �Guten Tag, Ludwig.  {Gú-tehn tahkh, lud-vihç.}  [German]  (Good day, Ludwig.)"  "See what King Hippo and Eggplant Wizard stole from Prince Lyle by order of Wendy!"

            Ludwig said, "I do not believe it!  You two actually did something correctly for a change."

            Coming in, Bowser said, "Bonjour, {Bawⁿh-zhúr,} [French] (Hello,) MotherBrain, Wendy, Ludwig, King Hippo, and Egg-. . . whoa!  That's the Sacred Square!  Do not tell me that those two actually did something right for a change!"

            "It is hard to believe, but it is true!" MotherBrain said.  "With the Sacred Square, we can rebuild our castles!"

            Ludwig told Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo, "For this, you two shall be well-rewarded."

            "Oh, boy!  I can hardly wait!" said King Hippo.

            "I can't hardly wait, neither!" Eggplant said.

            "Shut up!" commanded MotherBrain.  "That is a triple-negative!"

            "A do-what-hicky?"

            "A triple negative!!  It occurs when you use three negative words in a clause; it is generally erroneous in English!  Do I have to explain every simple little grammatical principle to you?"

            "Yes."

            Ludwig said, "Shut up, idiot!  You had better not mess up our plans this time, foolish vegetable!"

            "Get serious, Prince 'Kooky.'  Do I ever mess up your plans?"  MotherBrain wrapped her tentacle around Eggplant Wizard, drew him up to her glass jar, and turned him around so that he was facing Ludwig.  "Wha-. . .?"  Ludwig drew his sceptre and aimed at Eggplant Wizard.

            "May I give you one teeny volt for every time you have bungled MotherBrain's plans?" asked Ludwig.

            Eggplant Wizard asked, "Are you mad?  That would be ten quadrillion volts, give or take a tril-. . . oops!  I said the 'm-word'!"

            "Yes, and for that, I shall give you ten quintillion volts!"  Ludwig fried Eggplant Wizard.

            "You could have left off that extra thousand, you know."

            "Do not get anymore bright ideas, you dim-wit!" MotherBrain told Eggplant Wizard.

            Ludwig said, "That will be quite enough from you two."

            "Ahem!  Sorry, son.  I was behaving most inappropriately."

            Eggplant Wizard said, "You never say that to us, MotherBrain!"

            "That's because, fool, he is not stupid like King Hippo and you are!"  She tossed him, making him bash into King Hippo.  "Is that clear enough for you?"

            "Quite."

            Wendy said, "Shut up, vegetable!"

            "Yes," said MotherBrain.  "Shut up, veggie-breath!"

            "Yup," Eggplant Wizard said.

            Koopa ordered in Spanish, "Shut up, you incompetent, lazy, stupid, ignorant, foolish vegetable-brain!  You are so stupid that a rock could out-spell you in a spelling bee!"

            "I shall just reward King Hippo," Ludwig said in English.

            Eggplant Wizard fell to his fat belly, hitting the floor with his hands and flailing his feet in a fit.  "No fair!  You always treat him better than you do me!"

            MotherBrain picked him up by the fat neck with her tentacle.  "Let me tell you why:  BECAUSE HE'S NOT AS STUPID AS YOU ARE, YOU INCOMPETENT VEGETABLE!!!"  She tossed him into the wall, forcing a thousand eggplants to pop out of him.

            Wendy said, "Boy, is he STUPID!"

            "I shall say!" said MotherBrain.  "You haven't seen the stupidest creature in the universe until you've seen that fool."

            "I am not a creature!" exclaimed the Eggplant Wizard, offended.  "I am an incompetent vegetable!"

            "Shut UP!!!  Why is it that I am required to repeat my order six billion times before it sinks in?"

            "I don't know."

            "SHUT UP BEFORE I LET MY METROIDS SINK THEIR TEETH INTO YOU!!!"

            Eggplant Wizard got out a roll of masking tape.  "I'm shutting!"

            Smiling as Eggplant Wizard tore off a piece of masking tape and taped it over his mouth, MotherBrain said, "Wise decision, vegetable breath.  What shall we do first with the Sacred Square, 'Kooky'?"

            Ludwig said, "Well, first, we shall rebuild our Tetrad-strongholds."

            "Great idea!" said Bowser.  "Then, we can strengthen them!"

            "Oh, but I have a better plan.  After that, we can use the Sacred Square as a secret weapon.  However, I do not know if MotherBrain will love the first part of the idea too much."

            "Oh?  Why not?" MotherBrain asked.

            "Remember when you were using that mind-control sap from those trees in KongoLand?  The pain surging through your brain cells."

            "Oh, great!  Not that experience again!  The sacrifices which a beautiful brain must make in the name of evil.  But let's do it, if it is dirty and underhanded!  Hee, hee, hee!"

            "All we have to do is chip a piece off the Sacred Square, implant it into one of these wires connecting Metroid's central growth nodes to the computer systems, and chip a piece off the same wire and implant it into the Sacred Square.  That will give us unlimited access to it!  However, we will need someone who does not know for whom he is working. . . someone who knows how to do it."  Dr. Wily entered with Ridley and ProtoMan.  "Oh!  Check that thought.  We have a mad scientist on our team."

            Ridley greeted, "Hello, guys.  What's happening?"

            Ludwig said, "A most devious plot, Ridley.  Dr. Wily, can you chip a piece off the Sacred Square, install it into the largest one of these wires, take out a piece the same size as the chip out of the said wire, and implant the chip from the square into the wire and the wire into the square?"

            "Just call me the guy whom the doctor ordered!" Wily said.  "Ha, ha!  I'll have this fixed in two shakes of a lamb's - wheeze! - tail."  Dr. Wily ran out to obtain his all-purpose multi-tool kit.  When he returned, he said, "Ridley and ProtoMan, this operation is very delicate.  Make sure the idiots stay out of my hair."

            "Will-do, Doctor," Ridley said.

            "You can count on me, Doc," said ProtoMan.

            "This'll be simple if they behave."  Using a wire-stripper, Dr. Wily stripped the plastic off the wires, exposing them all.  With a cutter, he cut a cube out of the Sacred Square that was precisely two cubic centimetres in volume.  Then, he proceeded to cut a cube out of the largest wire, which relayed all mental control.  MotherBrain, Koopa, Ludwig, and Wendy experienced sharp pains. MotherBrain's face moved around in a strange circle, while the other three Koopas seemed to do a rock and roll type of dance.  Wily worked quickly.

            Mouser entered.  "Oh!"  He began to dance.  "I didn't know that you four knew how to dance!"

            Ridley said, "Shut up, Mouser!  Wily is performing a very delicate operation.  One screw-up, and MotherBrain and Ludwig may kill all of us, you the most painfully!"

            "Oh!  Sorry."  Dr. Wily inserted the cube of Sacred Square into the wire, welded it into place with a laser-welder, inserted the cube of wire into the Sacred Square, and welded it in.  The operation a success, MotherBrain and the three Koopas experienced no more brain pains.

            MotherBrain sighed.  "Let us see if this was worth it!"  She thought.  The Sacred Square reacted immediately, and Tetris-blocks showed up and formed in a line.  "Perfect!"

            Bowser said, "With this kind of power at our command, not just VideoLand and the Mushroom World but also the entire Milky Way Galaxy is ours for the taking!  Ha, ha, ha, ha!"

            "I could not agree more!" Ludwig said.

            Wendy ripped the tape off Eggplant Wizard's mouth.  "Eggplant, did you remember to put the fake square in the place of the Sacred Square?"

            "Nope!  We just knocked out Lyle and grabbed the key and square!"

            "I knew it!  I knew you'd forget that simple little instruction!  Wait!  Why am I so sore?  I can do it myself!"  She thought.  Back at the Chamber of Tetris, a block flashing like the Sacred Square was moved into the Sacred Square's place and welded itself there.

            * * *

            Communications Area, Throne Room, Palace of Power, VideoLand.

            Lyle had called his sister, Princess Lana, to report the theft of the Sacred Square by MotherBrain's brainless hooligans.  Lana said, "Oh, no!  They knocked you out, then snatched the Sacred Square?"

            "That is correct, Lana," said Lyle.

            "Oh, no!  Who knows what havoc those nasty creeps could wreak with it!"

            Captain N said, "We had better get to Metroid immediately before MotherBrain does something with it."

            * * *

            Control Room, Metroid.

            MotherBrain was watching in her monitor with Ludwig.  "Uh, oh!  What will we do, Ludwig?"

            "Elementary, my dear brain!  We get Larry to sneak the key back to the building where the Sacred Square was."

            "Me?" Larry asked.

            "Sure.  In the meantime, I shall hide the Sacred Square where not even you could find it."

            "Okay.  Where should I leave the key?"

            Ludwig handed the key to him.  "Lay it on the ground in front of the building.  That way, they are bound to find it!  And when they do find it, they will be able to see the Sacred Square in there!"

            "But it is not there."

            "I know.  I shall use my holography set to make Wendy's imitation look like the Sacred Square, since Wendy put a fake in the Sacred Square's place."

            Larry took the key.  "Hee, hee, hee!  I shall do it, O brother."  He bowed his head.

            "Save the sappy ceremonial stuff.  You are a member of my family, and so you are not required to bow to me.  I only appreciate it from underlings, not from my siblings."

            "Oh!  Yes, of course.  How silly of me.  I shall get going, O devious brother of nastiness!"

            "Be on your way, my brother, while I call the other Koopalings here."  Larry went into the warp to Tetris World, where he placed the key in front of the Chamber of Tetris.  He went back through the warp and landed back on Metroid, where he saw all his brothers and his sister.

            Larry said, "All done, my brother!"

            "Good work, Larry.  I knew that those two fools would mess this up."

            "I wouldn't have messed it up, Prince Ludwig," King Hippo said.

            MotherBrain said, "Shut up, you imbecile!"

            "Oh!  Right."

            "When those N-Twerps find out that the Sacred Square is not really in there, it will be too late for them!  Hee, hee, hee!"

            Koopa said, "Yes!  Those plunger-pushing pasta freaks shall no longer throw any monkey-wrenches into our evil plans!"

            "So, my dreadfully wonderful King Dad and MotherBrain," said Wendy, "when do we get to rebuild our castles?"

            "A.S.A.P.!" said Bowser.

            "A.S.A.P.?" she asked.

            "Yes.  As soon as possible."

            "I do thank you!  For a moment there, I thought that you were calling me 'a sap.' "

            "I would never call my own sweetly demented Koopalings saps."

            MotherBrain said, "But I would call those two nincompoops of mine saps."

            Ludwig said, "I see what you mean.  Siblings, you know the layouts of your castles and my castle.  Get out there and remake all six of them, now that Dr. Wily has fully integrated our brains with the Sacred Square."

            "We are going, Your Repulsiveness!" said Larry.  He led the five younger Koopalings off to remake their evil castles.

            Koopa heard a ring.  "Is that the doorbell?"

            "It sure is," said MotherBrain.  "Go get it, Eggplant Wizard."

            Eggplant Wizard asked, "Who, I?"

            "Yes, you!  I said, 'Go get it'!  NOW!!!"

            "Yes, Your Wrinkledness!"

            "What have I said about wrinkles?"

            "Oh!  Right!  Your Beauty-lined-ness!"

            "That is better.  NOW, GO GET THE GOLDANG DOOR!!!"

            Eggplant Wizard opened the door cautiously.  "Who's there?"

            "Princess Lana and Captain N to search this place," Lana said.

            Eggplant Wizard asked, "Have you a search warrant?"

            "Shut up, you idiot!" MotherBrain snapped.  "These wonderful people need no warrant to search our humble abode!"  After Eggplant had finished opening the door, MotherBrain greeted, "Ah, Your Highness!  What a pleasure."

            "Save it!" ordered Lana.

            Captain N asked, "What is your scheme, MotherBrain?"

            "If you are talking about the Sacred Square," Ludwig said, "we returned it.  Those two stupid imbeciles of ours mistook our intentions.  They stole the square without our permission, and we had no use for it.  We left the key on the ground in front of the building which houses it."

            "Oh!  Yeah, sure.  And I am King Kong!"

            "I shall make you regret saying that, Captain N.  Let's just go over there and prove what I have said."

            "Fine, 'Kooky' von Koopa."  Ludwig, Captain N, and Princess Lana entered the warp zone to Tetris and went to the Chamber of Tetris.

            Captain N bent down to pick up the object he mentioned.  "Hey!  It's Lyle's key!"

            Ludwig said, "Good.  Now, just put it into the lock."  Captain N entered the square key into the lock, opening the door.  He pulled out the key, and the three entered.  Captain N and Princess Lana saw Wendy O. 'Kootie Pie' Koopa's fake Sacred Square, thinking that it was the real thing, while Ludwig 'Kooky' von Koopa saw that his alibi was more perfect than anything else in the universe.

            Captain N said, "I cannot believe my eyes!  You actually returned it!"

            "I did not; Larry 'Cheatsy' Koopa did."

            Lana said, "I do not know what to say!"

            Ludwig said, "I was telling the truth.  Is there any doubt?"

            "No; we were wrong."

            Captain N said, "Come on, Lana.  Let us go back to the Palace of Power and tell the others."  MotherBrain and King Bowser Koopa were watching on the monitor.

            MotherBrain laughed, "Hee, hee, hee!  Perfect!  Ludwig has them fooled!"

            "Yes," said Koopa.  "He has them feeling so guilty of misaccusation that they are running away with their tails between their legs!"

            "Hee, hee, hee!  Yes.  I am so proud of him."

            After warping back in, Ludwig said, "Well, what do you think about my outstanding genius?"

            "Perfect!  You fooled those N-Twerps!  Now, we can take over VideoLand with our Sacred Square powers!"

            Ludwig activated the radio.  "Attention, all Koopalings; once you finish reconstructing your castles, come back to the control room of Metroid."  Within minutes, all Koopalings had warped to MotherBrain's control room.

            Larry asked, "What is it, my deviously minded evil brother?"

            Ludwig said, "I shall explain it to you.  I have tricked those N-Team pests, and they think that Wendy O. 'Kootie Pie' Koopa's model in the Chamber of Tetris is actually the Sacred Square."

            Wendy said, "Excellent!  Now, they will not know until it is too late, especially if Eggplant and Hippo can keep their mouths shut!"

            "Hey, have I ever blabbermouthed before?" Eggplant Wizard asked.

            Ludwig was sick of the distraction.  "Give me some of your super-adhesive wrapping tape, Larry."

            Larry handed a roll to Ludwig.  "Here you go, Your Wickedness!"

            Ludwig took off exactly three centimetres of the tape.  "Come here, Eggplant Wizard."

            Eggplant Wizard went over to Ludwig.  "Oh, great!  What are you going to do to me now?" Ludwig stuck the tape over Eggplant Wizard's mouth.  "Hmmm!"

            "You idiot!  If you squeal on our plans, you had better not show your face around here again!" Wendy said.

            Ludwig said, "But you know me, sister!  I would never do a thing like that!"

            "I am not talking to you, O intelligent brother.  I am talking to that idiotic Eggplant!"

            Eggplant Wizard asked, "Hmmy hmmid hmmo hmmo hmmis hmmo hmme?"  (translated:  "Why did you do this to me?")

            "If I don't, you might unintentionally tell those N-Twerps what we're up to."

            "Hmmo."  (translated:  "Oh.")

            "All right!  We have enough to deal with. . . too much, in fact, to be dealing with these sappy sentries," said Bowser.

            Larry said, "You have said it, bad Dad!  To what are you referring, though?"

            "I am referring to the fact that every time we get a good conquest plan, those good guys come in and muck it up!"

            Ludwig said, "Dad is right.  This time, they went too far when the Mario-Team joined forces with the N-Team Base, destroyed our castles, and formed the N-Team alliance."

            Roy agreed.  "Yeh!  It's time we cooked some N-Team goose!"

            "This time, we need something. . . something special.  Something that would frame one of them.  Um. . . let's see.  How could I frame one of them?"

            Mouser said, "Hey!  I have a picture frame, Prince von Koopa!  Will that do?"

            "NOT THAT KIND OF FRAME, YOU DIM-WIT RODENT!!!"

            "Sorry."

            Koopa said, "I know!  Why do we not do something to Captain N?"

            "What are you suggesting, Father?"

            "Well, say we did something and left Captain N holding the bag, so to speak.  Like, say, a kidnapping or a robbery or arson. . . something along that line.  If he were convicted, he would have no hope of becoming a member of the N-Team again!  Ha, ha, ha!"

            Ludwig said, "Excellent idea, King Dad!  I am so glad that you thought of it.  Now, let us see how we can frame that Captain N."

            MotherBrain laughed, "Hee, hee!  Some idea that I'm getting is making my brain cells tickle all over!  Hee, hee, hee, hee!"

            "What is it, MB?"

            "The Sacred Square!"

            "Ah, I see!  We can plant the Sacred Square in Captain N's bedroom!"

            "Ha, ha!  Then, Captain N can be charged with robbery of the Sacred Square!" Larry said.

            King Hippo said, "Ha, ha, ha!  Excellent idea, Prince Ludwig!"

            Ludwig peeled the tape off Eggplant Wizard's mouth.  "I have a job for you."

            Eggplant Wizard said, "Anything you desire, Your Hairiness!"

            "Not for you, Eggplant Wizard!  For King Hippo!"

            "No fair!  Why not me?"

            Ludwig got out his sceptre.  "Because, thou incompetent vegetable,. . ."  He fried Eggplant Wizard with his sceptre.  ". . .THOU ALWAYS MESSEST UP WHAT ONE TELLETH THEE TO DO!!!  King Hippo, I want you to go to the Palace of Power, plant the Sacred Square in Captain N's bedroom, and do it without being detected."

            King Hippo said, "I might have a little trouble about not being noticed, Prince Ludwig.  You see, I am easily seen, due to my big belly."

            Ludwig got out a pill.  "No problemo!  This pill will give you invisibility.  It will even hide your prodigious abdomen.  I must warn you, though, that it wears off within five minutes."

            "Thank you, Prince Ludwig."  King Hippo took the pill and swallowed it.  He became invisible.  Next, one saw Eggplant Wizard rising and flying into the wall.

            "Enough playing!  I have infrared vision, so I can see you while you're invisible.  I see you bending down to do that again.  Do what I asked!"

            "All right, Prince."  The Sacred Square rose from its resting place.  It went through the warp zone.  The evil ones watched the screen as the Sacred Square floated into Captain N's bedroom and lay down on Captain N's dresser.  A few minutes later, back on Metroid, King Hippo reappeared.  "King Hippo reporting!"

            Morton said, "I hope that you have done this correctly, King Hippo, and, furthermore, I hope you did it right, and, therefore,. . ."

            "Give him a chance to talk, Morton!" said Ludwig.

            "Did you do it correctly?"

            King Hippo said, "I sure did, Prince Morton.  It is on Captain N's dresser."

            Ludwig said, "Good.  This plan is going well so far.  Remember, though, not to mention a word of this near a member of the N-Team.  As the old saying goes,. . ."

            MotherBrain, Koopa, Larry, Roy, Wendy, Morton, Lemmy, Iggy, Ridley, ProtoMan, Dr. Wily, Eggplant Wizard, King Hippo, and Mouser said, "Loose lips sink ships!"

            "Exactly.  Now, all we have to do is watch the monitor."  In the monitor, one saw the outside of Captain N's room.  Captain N entered, only to be seen fainting and falling out onto the floor.

            Wendy laughed, "Hee, hee, hee!  Hippo did this right without that stupid Eggplant!"

            King Hippo said, "Yes.  It is probably this incompetent Eggplant Wizard who keeps making me mess up."  Angrily, Eggplant Wizard popped King Hippo on the arm without daunting him a bit.  "Oh, yeah?"  In retaliation, King Hippo bashed Eggplant Wizard in the eye, sending him flying into the wall.  All the way, a zillion vegetables popped out of Eggplant Wizard.

            MotherBrain ordered, "QUIT PLAYING, YOU IMMATURE BRATS!!!"  Now, in the monitor, one saw Princess Lana approaching Captain N's room.

            Lana asked, "Kevin!  What's wrong?"  She looked into his room.  "-Gasp!-  Kevin!"

            Captain N awakened.  "-Moan!-  Did you see what I saw?"

            "If you saw the Sacred Square in your room, I saw what you saw."

            "You must believe, Princess Lana, that I would never do that."

            "Kevin, I know in my heart that you wouldn't do such a thing, but I absolutely must have you placed under arrest.  It's the only legal thing for me to do, and I feel I must abide by my own laws.  Please, try to understand."

            Captain N said, "I understand.  That's okay."

            "Know that if you were convicted of stealing the Sacred Square, you would never be able to re-join the N-Team.  I know that you didn't do it, and you know that you didn't do it, but a jury must be convinced that you didn't do it.  At the very least, reasonable doubt must be raised.  In VideoLand, one is presumed innocent until proved guilty, as you say of your world."

            "Actually, just my country.  Not all nations on my planet give that right."

            MegaMan ran up the hall.  "Princess, come mega-quickly!  Prince Lyle is calling."  MotherBrain's monitor followed them to the visual communications area of the Palace of Power, just off the throne room.

            Lyle said, "Lana, I have terrible news!"

            "What is it, Lyle?" asked Lana.

            "My colleagues and I studied that 'Sacred Square' in the vault.  It isn't the real one!"

            "This is terrible," Lana said.  "Come to the Palace as soon as possible, brother."

            "Okay.  I'll see all of you later."  The screen turned blank.

            "We have a big problem," Lana announced.  "Someone has planted the real Sacred Square in Kevin's room.  Okay, so all I can swear to is that I him lying on the floor in front of his room on his back and the Sacred Square on his dresser."

            Simon joked, "Ha, ha!  I knew that he would show his true colours someday."

            "What are you mega-saying, Simon?  Captain N would never do a thing like that," said MegaMan.

            "Hey!  It was only a joke."

            Kid Icarus said, "Well, it was not very funny.  In fact, it was not funny at all."

            Samus said, "We must clear him, Lana.  If he is unable to be a member of the N-Team, the Brain-Team could stop us cold."

            "That goody-goody little princess could ruin everything!" MotherBrain said.

            Eggplant Wizard said, "Aha!  I have an idea!"

            "What is it, Eggplant?" said Wendy.

            "Well, how about we kidnap Princess Lana and make it look as if Simon did it?"

            Ludwig said, "No, garbage-face!  It would never work.  Hm!  It might be good that we abduct Lana and manipulate the circumstances to have it seem as though Simon Belmont committed the act."

            "Yes!  Great idea, Ludwig," said MotherBrain.

            "I am so glad that I thought of it!"

            Koopa said, "Yes!  Wonderful idea, Ludwig."

            Sarcastically, Eggplant Wizard said, "Of course, Prince Ludwig, no one can be as intelligent as you are."  He knew Ludwig had taken his idea and twisted the vocabulary.

            "You!" said Ludwig.  "Eggplant!"

            "Yes, Your Intelligence?"

            "Grab the Princess, tie her up, and hide her in Simon's bedroom."

            "Pardon me for bringing this up, Prince Ludwig, but do you not think that there is someone more qualified for this kind of job?"

            "You have a point, my dear veggie.  Maybe there is a person more qualified to do this than you.  In fact, anyone would be, but I have a specific person in mind."

            "Namely?"

            "Namely Simon Belmont himself!"

            "Pardon me?" MotherBrain asked.

            Larry was getting the idea.  "Aha!  No one could ever have come up with a more devious plot!  Ha, ha, ha!  I see what he's getting at.  His plan is to hypnotise Simon to grab Princess Lana!"

            Ludwig said, "Exactly!  And when the princess walks into his clutches. . ."

            "Snap!  Your plot goes perfectly!  There's one thing I don't get, Ludwig."

            "What is it?"

            "How shall we grab Simon and hypnotise him?"

            "That's what my electronic manufacturer is working on now.  I felt this urge to create a. . ."  He saw 'COMPLETED' flash on the screen.  "Aha!  My machine is done."  A strangely shaped ray gun was warped to the table in the room.  "I input the design and specifications into my computer, and voilà!  It's done in a minute or less!  Behold my instant-hypnosis machine, my invention of the quarter-hour.  Just input the name of him or her whom you wish to hypnotise on the control panel, press the button marked 'ENTER,' and that person is hypnotised.  Whatever you want that person to do, just think it, and the person responds without being so straight that it is apparent that he is hypnotised.  This will also work on androids, animals, and electronic devices.  However, to ensure the device's reliability, I need a test first.  Eggplant Wizard, I need a guinea pig."

            Eggplant Wizard noted the look in Ludwig's eyes.  "Well, then, get a guinea pig!  I'm getting OUT OF HERE!!!"  Eggplant Wizard ran for dear life.

            "Too much waste of money for something that can't cause brain-damage, though that's of no consequence where Eggie is concerned.  It doesn't matter where he runs.  He can run to the other side of the Milky Way for all I care."  Ludwig typed 'EGGPLANT WIZARD' on his device and pressed 'ENTER.'  Eggplant Wizard stopped dead in his tracks.  "Come here, Eggplant Wizard."  Eggplant Wizard entered the room.

            Eggplant Wizard naturally asked, "What is it, Prince von Koopa?"

            "Act like a chicken."

            "Cluck, cluck, cluck!"  He pecked King Hippo.

            King Hippo said, "Hey!  Quit it, chicken!  Go lay an eggplant!"  Eggplant Wizard continued acting like a real dumb cluck.

            MotherBrain said, "Okay.  We can do without the featherbrain acting like a featherhead."  Ludwig pressed the 'REVIVE #1' button on his device, and Eggie stopped acting like a chicken.  "So, you can control his mind.  What of it?"

            "If I can do this with my special device and that stupid fruit loop of yours," said Ludwig, "think what I can do with Captain N and his pals."

            "Hmm!  I love the marvellous thought!"

            Lemmy ran in.  "Dad!  MotherBrain!  Ludwig!  There is someone here to see you!"

            Koopa asked, "Who?"

            "Your mother!"

            "My. . ."  Before he could finish, his mother came in.  She resembled him quite a bit, except she wore sunglasses and red lipstick, and she constantly toted a red purse.

            Bowser's mother said, "Bowser, I am here!  Oh, I am so proud of you!  You have finally gotten hitched!"

            "Mama, listen to me.  We are very busy, and. . ."

            "Oh, Ludwig!  Is that you?  My, how you've grown since I've last seen you!  Give your grandma a big hug!"  She hugged Ludwig.

            "Eyewww!"

            Ludwig said, "MotherBrain, this is my dear grandmother.  Grandmother, the lovely MotherBrain."

            "The 'dear' part is debatable," Bowser said.

            "Oh, Father, really!  How bad can she possibly be?"

            She yanked Bowser's lip and released it, letting it snap painfully back into place.  He rubbed it.  "Why do you always do that?"

            Koopa's mother said, "Ah, so the extremely lovely MotherBrain who saved my dear son's life is his lucky wife!  How about considering my place for a honeymoon spot?  I live in the dirtiest, smelliest swamp in seven worlds!  You will just love it!"

            "It is a charming spot, MotherBrain," Ludwig said.  "It's among the best places I ever was in my earlier years."

            MotherBrain was genuinely delighted.  "I would be simply delighted to stay with you, Mother-in-Law!"

            "Why be so formal?  Just call me 'Mother'!"

            "Of course, Mother.  Now, where were we?  Oh, yes!  Ludwig, my dear stepson, pull the trigger on your delightful plan!"

            "It is just about time," Ludwig said.  "Simon is almost alone. . . now!"  Ludwig typed 'SIMON BELMONT' on his device, pressed 'ENTER,' and stopped Simon in his tracks.  "All right, Simon Belmont.  You are now under my command.  Act normally until I get ready, okay?  That means your usual activities, like being vain, trying to sweep Princess Lana off her feet without getting anywhere, and doing whatever else you normally do."  Simon walked along perfectly normally after the command had been given.  "What a patsy!  Let's see what Princess Pea-brain is up to."  Ludwig pressed a button on the control panel.  The screen showed Princess Lana, MegaMan, Kid Icarus, and Mario.

            Mario asked, "When is the preliminary hearing, Princess?"

            "It is supposed to be at 8.00 tomorrow," said Lana.

            "Who is the mega-prosecuting barrister?" MegaMan asked.

            Lana said, "I am supposed to find one.  I am also supposed to find a defence barrister.  Unfortunately, we haven't had any cases such as this in a while, and I doubt any barristers in VideoLand are able to handle it."

            "There are a good defender and a good prosecutor on Earth," Mario said.  He knew that 'barrister' was simply the British term for 'attorney' and that it was used in VideoLand as well.  "Perry Mason and Hamilton Burger respectively!"

            Kid Icarus laughed, "Ha, ha!  Hamilton Burger-cus sounds as though he ought to be hamburger!  Hee, hee!"

            "Well, sometimes he acts like it, Kid Icarus," said Mario.

            Ludwig turned off the screen.  "Hamilton Burger and Perry Mason?  Let me run a data search on those names."  He pressed a button on the computer terminal that he had just installed in the control room.  It was linked to the powerful computer in his room.  "I am sure that I've heard of those two before.  It is 12.00 now.  We must cover up all possible evidence leading to us."

            King Hippo said, "I couldn't have left fingerprints on the Sacred Square.  I have on boxing gloves."

            "You're right.  However, you could have left your heat signature on it."

            "Heat signature?" asked MotherBrain.  "I've never heard of it."

            Ludwig said, "That is logical, as I just discovered it.  Its detection requires machines that only Dr. Wright, Dr. Wily, and I can create alone."

            Koopa's mother said, "Oh, such a bright boy you have brought up, Bowser!"

            "Thank you, Mother," Bowser said.

            Larry said, "If we can just make sure that those ninnies do not find out about our little foul-up, Captain N will not even have a team of which to be captain!  Ha, ha, ha!"

            "What an idea!" said Morton.  "I can yak tall tales to the jury!"