Meeting Hall, Palace of Power, VideoLand.

Princess Lana was conferring with the Mario Brothers.  "We must bring these barristers from your world to our world, Mario," Lana said.  "Everyone has a right to legal representation, but as I said, VideoLand has no lawyers able to handle this."

            Luigi said, "Yeah, Princess Lana, but how shall we do it?"

            "I know where Perry's office is, but I could never find a warp pipe in the Mushroom World that leads to Los Angeles, California," said Mario.

            Peach said, "I must have memorised my warp pipe-map of the Mushroom World to the 'T,' and I don't remember anything about a warp leading to Los Angeles."

            "What about the Ultimate Warp Zone?  It brought Kevin from California.  Won't it take us there?"

            Lana said, "It just might!  Come with me."  Everyone went to the room with the Ultimate Warp Zone.

            "Doesn't the Ultimate Warp mega-wipe VideoLand out of your memory if you go through it?" MegaMan asked.

            "I just read on how to tell it not to do that, MegaMan."  The Power Glove revealed the location of the other end of the Ultimate Warp Zone.  "The Ultimate Warp presently leads to a large sign that says, 'Hollywood.' "

            "All right!" said Mario.  "That Hollywood place is close to L.A.  L.A. is the nickname given to Los Angeles."

            Luigi said, "Don't worry.  We'll bring Mason and Burger here."

            Lana keyed a code into the Power Glove.  "There.  Now your memories won't be wiped when you pass through."

            Samus said, "Get going, please.  There is no telling what may happen if we don't help Kevin."

            Peach said, "I'd better come with you."  Mario, Luigi, and Princess Peach warped off to Hollywood.

            * * *

            Wendy's Chamber, Metroid.

            Wendy was watching on her mirror-monitor.  "Why does that shrimpy little do-gooder get to go on a trip to L.A., and not me?" demanded Wendy.  The image in her hand-mirror changed back to a reflection of her.  She recited:

            MotherBrain came in.  Loud enough to shake the whole universe, she screamed to King Hippo and Eggplant Wizard, "QUIET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

            * * *

            Throne Room, Palace of Power.

            "What was that noise I just heard?" Lana asked.

            "Either my senses are failing me," said MegaMan, "or that was MotherBrain mega-yelling at the mega-stupid Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo."

            "If she can't stand them, why does she employ them?"

            "It's simple:  mega-cheap labour!"

            "I believe that!"

            * * *

            Hollywood, California, 20th-Century Earth.

            Meanwhile, in Hollywood, California, things were going as planned for the Mario Brothers and Princess Peach - well, almost.  As they emerged from their warp, Mario said, "Well, we are here."

            "Good," said Princess Peach.  "What a nice sign!"

            Luigi said, "We were here on our tour connected with becoming Plumbers of the Year!  Of course, that was the only time, but we still remember as though it were yesterday."

            "Yes, and I still have my road map of Los Angeles and Hollywood," Mario said.  "Of course, it's probably a little out of date."  He looked at his map.  "Good news!  It's only a few miles� to downtown Los Angeles!"  [� - The use of miles is appropriate here, of course, because the current location is the United States near the end of the twentieth century.]

            "Uh, how do we get to Los Angeles?" the princess asked.

            "Simple!  There must be somewhere between fifty and a hundred taxi cabs in Hollywood.  We just hail one."

            Luigi said, "Yeah.  All we have to do is find one."  Bad news warped into town. . . Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo!

            Eggplant Wizard said, "Yeah, and you never will, once I turn them all into potatoes!  Ha, ha, ha!"

            "It's Eggplant Wizard!"

            "Do not forget me, you three N-Dodos!" King Hippo said.

            Mario said, "I'll show you who's a dodo!"

            "Yeah!" said Eggplant Wizard.  "You are!  I shall beet you!"  He turned Mario into a beet.

            "Hey!" Mario said.  "Could you turn me into a tomato and put me on a spaghetti?"

            Luigi asked, "Mario, can you only think of your stomach?"

            "I think of other things."

            "Let's see you two fools mess with Caped Luigi!"  Luigi got out a Cape Feather and turned into Caped Luigi.

            King Hippo said, "Ha, ha!  I shall deal with this plumbing shrimp!"  Before King Hippo could act, though, Luigi bashed him with his cape.

            "Serves you right, King Hippo!  Now for you, Eggplant Wizard!"

            "Oh, yeah?  I'll fix you with my string bean net!" said Eggplant Wizard, launching four or five green beans into the air.  These beans turned into a net and entrapped Luigi.

            "Yaaah!  I've been beaned!" cried Luigi.

            "Yeah!  What do you want, Princess Curmudgeon?"

            "I want you to turn Mario back to normal and to release Luigi," Princess Peach Toadstool snapped.

            "Sorry.  That permission was not given to me by the extremely beautiful Princess Wendy."  Simon came up the Ultimate Warp with his whip ready.

            Simon said, "Oh, yeah, Egg-breath?  Well, maybe my whip has something to say about that!"

            "It's Simon Belmont!"

            "I'll brain him!" said King Hippo.

            "How can you brain me when you have no brain yourself?" Simon asked snidely.  "Whip, do your stuff!"  Simon swung his whip at King Hippo and knocked the little crown off the brainless boxer's head.

            "Hey!  That was my crown!"  He turned around.  "Aha!  There it is."  When he bent over to pick it up, his pants ripped in the middle, revealing shorts with little green Koopa-turtles.  "Yaah!"

            Peach laughed, "Ha, ha, ha!"

            "Your Fatness, your - giggle, giggle! - pants are - giggle, giggle! - ripped!" said Eggplant Wizard before bursting into uncontrollable, hysterical laughter.

            "Aw, shut up, Eggplant Breath!"  King Hippo, extremely irritated, snatched Eggplant Wizard's Veggie-wand.

            "Hey!  That's my Veggie-wand!"

            "Yeah.  Ain't it, though?"  King Hippo broke the wand.  Mario turned back to normal, and the string bean net disappeared from Luigi.  "Oops!"

            "Now look what you've done!  Princess Wendy is going to be very upset with you."

            "Aw, shut up!  Let's get back to Metroid!"

            "We shall be back, Ninny-Team!"  King Hippo and Eggplant Wizard went into their warp zone to Metroid.

            Mario said, "Thank you, Simon!"

            "Simon Belmont shall not shirk his duties as a hero," Simon declared.

            "Well, let's get on with it," suggested Luigi.  "Coming, Simon?"

            "Oh, I must return to the Palace.  I have to make sure that MotherBozo and the Binky-Team don't come snooping around the Palace.  See you later, guys!"

            * * *

            Control Room, Metroid.

            From Metroid, everyone was watching in MotherBrain's control room.  MotherBrain said, "First, you two fools foul up Wendy's plans, and now you let Simon-the-dolt insult us!"

            "Get out of our sight, you two!" ordered Ludwig.

            Taking his leave, Eggplant Wizard said, "Okay, Prince Ludwig!"

            King Hippo, too, availed himself of the nearest exit.  "Yes, my main turtle!"

            Dr. Wily exclaimed, "Those idiots!"

            Ludwig agreed, "Yes.  They make the Three Stooges look like geniuses!"

            "Oh, those two!" said Wendy.  "Do we have to do everything ourselves?"

            "Pipe down, 'Kootsie Pie'!" Bowser said.  "You're giving me a complex."

            Koopa's mother bashed his head with her purse.  "Oh, knock it off, Koopums!"

            Ludwig said, "Please, you two!  Now that we have Captain N on the fish-hook, - ha, ha, ha! - we do not want to let him off until we let him under!  Ha, ha, ha, ha!"

            "I have a plan so sneaky that you may wish that you thought of it!" said Larry.  "What if we went to Los Angeles and kidnapped Perry Mason and Hamilton Burger?"

            "Now, Larry, you know that kidnapping is a capital offence.  Let's do it!  Ha, ha, ha!"

            "No!  Let the Marios do it."

            "Let the. . . ha, ha, ha!  What a delightfully demented idea, Larry!"

            MotherBrain said, "Explain, please."

            Ludwig said, "With my machine, I can hypnotise up to nine people at one time!"

            "Hoo, hoo!  We have a little surprise for you, Princess Lana!  Hee, hee, hee!"

            "My only hope is that they have not eaten too much pasta for this to work.  You see, the machine does not work if the one whom I want to hypnotise has eaten too much pasta.  Let's try Mario."  Ludwig punched in 'MARIO' and pressed 'ENTER.'  The machine, in its little display window, said 'MALFUNCTION!'  "Oh, drat!  Mario has too much pasta in his fat larder!  Well, that idea will not achieve anything.  Mouser!  Try-Clyde!  Some Koopa-Troopa!  Front and centre immediately!"  The three ran into the room.

            The green-shelled Koopa-Troopa said, "Yes, my main mad scientist?"

            "I want you three yo-yos to go up to Los Angeles and stop the Mario Brothers and that shrimpy Princess. . . wait a minute!  Did I hear the word 'mad' in there?  You of all people know how I hate that word!  Luckily, you're highly expendable, as you are one of the whopping majority of Koopa-Troopas that are not bred by flesh but are matter held together purely by magic!"  Ludwig fried the Koopa-Troopa to video-dust with his sceptre.  "I need another Troopa in here, Larry.  And choose one who does not have the word 'mad' in his or her vocabulary."  Larry pressed a button on the wall.  In came another Koopa-Troopa, this one with a blue shell.

            Wendy told the three lackeys, "Dispose of the Mario Brothers as you wish, but bring that shrimpy do-gooder princess to me!  I want to implant my superior brain into her inferior body!"

            "That is a cold, cold idea, Wendy.  I love it!" said Ludwig.

            MotherBrain said, "Get going, you three little dunder-heads!"  Mouser, Try-Clyde, and the Koopa-Troopa took a warp to Los Angeles.

            * * *

            Edifice where Mason's office was located, Los Angeles, California, Earth.

            Ten minutes later, in front of the building in which Perry Mason had his office, Mario, Luigi, and Princess Peach arrived by cab.  As they disembarked, the cab-driver said, "That will be $8.50."

            Mario withdrew his wallet and extracted a ten-dollar bill.  "Let's see. . . I have it."  He handed the bill to the driver.  "Thanks a million, buddy, and keep the change!"

            "Good luck, and thanks for the tip!"

            The cabby drove off; Mario and the others were on a sidewalk near the building.  "Gee," Princess Peach said, "Perry Mason must have picked the largest office building in the city!"  Mouser, Try-Clyde, and the blue Koopa-Troopa arrived by warp.

            "And soon, you will be picking some bomb-pieces out of your teeth, you rotten Mario Brothers!" Mouser said in his German accent.

            "Mouser, Try-Clyde, and Koopa-Troopa!" said Mario.  "What are you three doing here in L.A., as if I didn't know?"

            "Oh, I thought I would see the San Andreas Fault. . . and dump you Mario Brothers in when I create the worst earthquake in history with my powerful bombs!  Ha, ha, ha, ha!"

            Koopa-Troopa said, "I'll bag Princess Toad-stooge for Princess Wendy, Mouser!"

            All Try-Clyde's heads said, "Good thinking, Koopa-Troopa!  I'll get Luigi!"

            "And I handle Mario," said Mouser.  Up stepped someone. . . a police officer by the name of Lieutenant Arthur Tragg!  A little above Princess Toadstool's height, he was taller than Mouser, as his shadow was cast over the evil rodent when he stepped up behind him.  He wore a long, dark tie and a brown suit, as he was a plain-clothes police officer.  He was somewhat large around the middle; his brown hat concealed the fact that he had thinning grey hair on his head.

            "And who has me, Mouser?" Tragg asked, a sardonic expression on his face.

            "Well, Lt. Tragg, I. . . -gasp!-  Lieutenant Arthur Tragg?!?"

            "Yes.  If you three bother Mario, Luigi, and Princess Peach again, I shall book you for disturbing the peace!"

            "Oops!  Where is the nearest warp zone out of here?!?" demanded Try-Clyde.  He, the Koopa-Troopa, and Mouser (in that order) entered the warp to Metroid.

            Mario said, "Thank you, Tragg!  I thought the coast would be toast!"

            "I just got your last letter from the Mushroom World," Tragg said.  "Seems you're having a slight bit of trouble from MotherBrain now."

            "Boy, are we glad you got that letter!" said Luigi.

            "I assume that you are here to see my old friend Perry Mason."

            Mario said, "Yes, Lieutenant.  We would like you to meet Princess Peach Toadstool of the Mushroom World."

            Lieutenant Tragg tipped his hat.  "Good to meet you, Princess Peach."

            "Good to meet you, Lt. Tragg," Peach said.

            "Whatever your problem is, I feel sure that Mr. Perry Mason and Mr. Paul Drake can handle it.  Also, if you need my help, I'll assist."

            Mario said, "Thank you, Tragg.  See you later, pal."

            "See you guys later."  Mario, Luigi, and Princess Peach entered the building.  They went to a service desk.

            "Pardon me, ma'am," Mario said to the desk clerk.  "Could you please tell us on which floor Mr. Mason has his office?"

            The desk clerk said, "Yes, sir.  It is on Floor 47.  Just go to your right after leaving the elevator.  His office is clearly marked."

            "Thank you," Luigi said.  When they entered the elevator, Mario entered '47' on the computer device that asked for the levels.

            Peach asked, "When did you meet the good Lieutenant Tragg?"

            "We met him on our visit out here.  That trip went with the award for 'Plumbers of the Year.'  He found us interesting, and we've remained pen-pals."

            * * *

            Control Room, Metroid.

            Back on Metroid, MotherBrain and the Koopas, especially Ludwig, were extremely infuriated.  Ludwig exclaimed, "YOU BUNCH OF SOURDOUGH WIMPS!!!!!  YOU'RE IDIOTS, BEING AFRAID OF A PERSON WITH A STUPID BADGE!!!!!  NONE OF YOU CAN DO ANYTHING RIGHT!!!!!  I'D FIRE YOU ALL RIGHT ON THE SPOT IF YOU WEREN'T THE ONLY GUYS SMART ENOUGH TO WORK FOR US!!!!!"

            "But, Your Dishonourable Evilness, he threatened to haul us in for disturbing the peace!" Mouser said.

            "THERE IS ONLY ONE PERSON WHO WON'T FAIL ME!!!!!" Ludwig exclaimed.

            MotherBrain asked, "Who?"

            "Me!  I will just have to get out there and deal with these good-guy-buffoons myself!  Larry!  Roy!  You two are coming with me."

            Roy said, "But, Ludwig, if Tragg sees us, we will be booked for disturbing the peace!"

            Larry said, "Be a coward if you want to, Roy.  I shall go!"

            Ludwig asked, "What are you worried about, Roy?"

            "I don't want a police officer to book me!" Roy said.

            "So?  Resist arrest!"

            "But how?"

            "You have a magical sceptre!  Use it!"

            Koopa said, "Yeah!  Why do you think that I gave it to you?"

            "Oh, all right," said Roy.  "I'll come along."

            Wendy said, "Do not forget to grab me Princess Toad-stooge, Ludwig."

            "We'll do it, sweetie," Ludwig said.

            "I don't see why I must go instead of Morton," said Roy.

            Ludwig said, "Come with us, Morton.  You can loud-mouth the cops to death if we find them."

            "Right-o, brother!" Morton said.  Ludwig, Larry, Roy, and Morton entered the warp to L.A.

            * * *

            Perry Mason's Reception Room, Los Angeles, California.

            To Gertie, Mason's receptionist, Mario said, "Ma'am, we would like to see Mr. Mason, please."

            Gertie asked, "Would you give me your name, please?"

            "I am Mario Mario.  This other gentleman's name is Luigi Mario.  The lady's name is Peach Toadstool."

            * * *

            In Perry Mason's office, the great lawyer was speaking with his confidential secretary, Della Street.  Perry was of average height, while Della was slightly shorter.  Both had greying dark hair, and his was starting to thin.  He wore a black office suit, and Della wore a black dress.  His face was capable of the stoniest gaze, which helped to make him a great figure in criminal law.  "One day, Della, we're leaving both California and Colorado behind."

            "I've grown attached to both states, but I am kind of in the mood for a change," said the secretary.  "I wish I knew a good place."

            Mason was about to open his mouth when the phone rang.  He picked up the receiver.  "Yes, Gertie? . . . Sounds intriguing!  Send 'em in."  He hung up.  "You might not believe who's here, Della."

            "Try me."

            "Mario, Luigi, and Princess Peach Toadstool."

            "Tragg's friends?"

            "Yes."  Mario, Luigi, and Princess Peach came in.  "Hello.  My name is Perry Mason.  This is my confidential secretary, Miss Della Street."

            Mario said, "Good day, Mr. Mason, Miss Street."  He shook hands with the lawyer.

            "Have a seat."  The Mario Brothers and Peach sat down in chairs in front of his desk.  "My friend, Lt. Tragg, has told me about you.  Is it true that you won a Plumbers of the Year award, which included a tour that brought you clear out here from New York City?"

            "Yes, sir.  We met Tragg on that trip and have been in correspondence with him ever since."

            "I only wish I could have seen you when you first came out this way from New York.  And the lieutenant has also told me about you, Princess Peach."

            Peach said, "He seems like a nice fellow.  He met us in front of the building."

            "Yeah," said Mario.  "He saved us from having to fight three of our stupider adversaries, Mouser, Try-Clyde, and a Koopa-Troopa."

            Mason said, "Tragg's told me about those three imbeciles, too.  Frankly, I'd rather not get caught by those creeps.  However, this nineteen-year-old Ludwig von Koopa intrigues me somehow."

            Mario said, "All I can say is, 'Beware of that creep and of his brother Larry!'  They're too smart to be evil."

            The telephone rang again.  Mason responded.  "Yes, Gertie? . . . Four others?  Who are they? . . . Hmm."  He covered the sound transmitter.  "Ludwig von Koopa, Larry Koopa, Roy Koopa, and Morton Koopa, Jr."

            "Uh-oh!" said Mario.  "-Sigh.-  Let them come in, if you want to."

            Peach said, "We only mind a little."

            "Uh, send them in, Gertie," said Mason, "but have them give their sceptres to you first. . . . Okay."  He hung up.  Seconds later, Ludwig and his brethren came in.  "Good day, Prince Ludwig.  What may I do for you?"

            Ludwig said, "I hope that you are able to help these three good people, Mr. Mason.  There has been, shall we say, a most disturbing event in VideoLand."

            "And I bet that you are behind it, von Koopa!" snapped Mario.

            Ludwig said, "Calm down, Mario.  I shall do nothing in this world.  Mr. Mason, could you also please direct me to the office of the district attorney, Mr. Hamilton Burger?"

            "Sure," Mason said.  "His office is on Floor 38.  Turn left after you exit the elevator."

            "Thank you, Mr. Mason.  Tah, tah, all.  Excuse us, please."  Ludwig and the others exited.

            Mario said, "That 'most disturbing event' is what we came to you about, Mr. Mason."

            "Oh?" asked Mason.  "What's happened?  Bowser run amok?"

            "For that not to happen would be highly unusual.  Actually, the evil MotherBrain and King Koopa have gotten hitched, Ludwig is really terrorising VideoLand, and the beautiful Princess Lana is in despair because someone has set up Captain N, whose actual name is Kevin Keene."

            "Kevin Keene?  I've known his family quite well for a long time.  For the past three and a half years, his family and my private investigator's agency, the Paul Drake Detective Agency, have been searching for him without a trace, and now you tell me that he is in VideoLand?"

            Luigi said, "That's true.  On the date of September 11, 1989, at 7:00 P.M. Pacific Daylight Savings time, he was pulled by the Ultimate Warp Zone through his TV set into VideoLand."

            "I know him well, too," Mason said.  "His family discovered his disappearance at 7:30 P.M. that same evening.  Hm.  Did Duke go with him?"

            "Yes," said Mario.

            "Good.  How often does Kevin save VideoLand, or does he?"

            "Yes, and extremely often," Luigi said.  "But now he's been booked for the robbery of one of the most powerful items in VideoLand, the Sacred Square of Tetris!"

            "Well, how can I help?"

            "You are the best defence attorney we know of," Mario said.  "The preliminary hearing for his case is at 8.00� tomorrow morning.  Princess Lana of VideoLand wanted us to ask you to defend Kevin.  She said licences from any U.S. state are good in VideoLand.  For reference, VideoLand Mean Time is the same as Pacific Daylight Savings time, so don't worry about jet lag."  [� - Generally, VideoLandians use the twenty-four hour clock.  Time is rendered from 0.00 to 23.59 instead of from 12:00 A.M. to 11:59 P.M.  Generally, times such as 17.30 would be read 'seventeen hours and thirty minutes' or simply 'seventeen thirty.']

            "All right.  Della, leave a note for Ken."  He called Paul Drake, the private detective who often worked with him, on the telephone.  "Paul Drake, this is Perry Mason.  Literally drop whatever you're doing into your son's hands and meet me outside.  Tell him we'll be gone for a while."  When he had hung up, he turned back to the Mario Brothers and the princess.  "If you also need a prosecutor, Hamilton Burger is planning to resign from his office in the near future.  He may be able to help.  He is a good friend of mine."

            Della said, "Well, Perry, let's get going.  I have a feeling that this is going to be a most interesting case."

            "So do I, Della."

            * * *

            Hamilton Burger's Office, Los Angeles, California.

            Meanwhile, Ludwig, Larry, Roy, and Morton were in Mr. Burger's office.  Ludwig said, ". . .so you see, Mr. Burger, the case needs a proper prosecuting attorney.  You are the ideal man, if you want the job."

            Burger said, "Your knowledge of the legal language, Prince von Koopa, impresses me, especially since you are from a different area of the galaxy."  He had dark, curly hair and a black suit similar to Mason's.  He was about the same height as Mason, and his build was similar, but his face was quite different.  Whereas Mason's face was almost squarish, Burger's was more elliptical.  His voice was a little higher than his colleague's was.  Though he was interested in winning cases, he put ethics first; he knew well that his job as a prosecutor was to see that justice was done.

            "Well, jurisprudence in VideoLand is not very different from jurisprudence here or in the United Kingdom."

            "Will you do the job?" Larry asked.

            "Certainly."

            Roy said, "Good.  Her Highness, Princess Lana of VideoLand, will most appreciate this."

            "I am about to resign as an attorney in California, anyway.  I have gotten quite tired with prosecuting just about everyone in town!  Heh, heh!  Just a lawyer joke."

            "Understood," Ludwig said.  "Though maybe fewer, the cases there can be more interesting, I think, than those here."

            "Indubitably, Her Highness will be pleased with my big brothers' and my work!" Morton said.  "Oh, yes, indeed!  She certainly will be!  Oh, the rewards we'll reap!  Oh, the. . ."

            Ludwig interrupted, "If you keep that up, Morton, you may not be around much longer."

            "You see, Mr. Burger, Morton's extremely appropriate middle name is 'Big Mouth,' " said Larry.  Someone knocked on the door.

            Burger said, "Come in."  In walked Perry Mason, Della Street, Mario, Luigi, and Princess Peach.

            "Hello, Hamilton.  I see that you are quite busy," said Perry.

            Ludwig said, "We don't mind, do we?"

            "Certainly not," said Larry.

            "Nope," Roy said.

            Morton said, "We do not mind, and furthermore, you can hold conversation with the good, distinguished Mr. Burger when we're around, no matter. . ."  Just then, Ludwig stuck some super-adhesive tape around Morton's mouth.

            "Please excuse my little brother," Ludwig said.  "He gets on a roll quite easily.  Too easily, in fact, for the benefit of his health."

            "What have they told you, Hamilton?" asked Mason.

            "Oh, they have told me that an innocent member of the N-Team has been booked for something he did not do. . . the robbery of a certain item called the 'Sacred Square,' and that Her Highness, Princess Lana of VideoLand, needs a prosecutor.  I am most certainly going to help."

            "Guess who is the defence attorney."

            "Of course.  Good ol' you.  No one is more fitting for the job than the great Perry Mason."

            "Well, at least you four Koopalings did one nice thing for a change," Mario said.

            Ludwig said, "Come now, Mario.  Not even a Koopa can be all bad."

            Luigi said, "He has a point, Mario."

            Mario raised his right eyebrow at Luigi.  "Oh, really?" Mario asked.

            "Well, we have run out of time, my Koopa-brothers," Larry said.  "Time to get back to Her Braininess's lair."

            " 'Her Braininess'?" Burger asked.  "Who is 'Her Braininess'?"

            "I'm surprised that Lt. Tragg hasn't told you, Mr. Burger," said Roy.  "Our quite evil King Dad, better known in video games in this world as Bowser, has married the super-cool, wicked MotherBrain!  The goody-good Lana didn't ask us to ask you to be the prosecutor.  My extremely evil brother, Ludwig von Koopa, got that idea in his head!  'Her Braininess' is the quite-despicable-to-good-guys MotherBrain!"

            Mario asked, "And who, if I may ask, is the leader of the Brain-Team?"

            "That is I, the most despicable snake anywhere in the galaxy," Ludwig said.  "And we shall get Captain N where he belongs, so that we can take over all VideoLand!  No, all the galaxy!!!!!  Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!  And, to top it off, maybe the entire UNIVERSE!!!!!!!  HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA!!!!!!"

            "Yeah!" Larry said.  "And then you Mario Brothers are going to be S - O - R - R - Y sons of a gun!"

            Ludwig said, "See you later, suckers!  Ha, ha, ha!"  The four Koopalings left.  Lt. Tragg came in.

            Tragg greeted, "Hello, Perry, Della, Mario Brothers, Princess Peach, and Hamilton.  How are you today, Perry?"

            "Oh, I am quite fine," Mason said.  "What's wrong?"

            "Oh, nothing.  I was about to resign from the police business and thought I might move to VideoLand to help my friends here maintain the law."

            Burger said, "I've kind of thought of moving out there myself, Perry."

            "How is the usual weather out there, Mario?" Della asked.

            "At the Palace of Power, it's pretty mild," said Mario.

            Luigi said, "Yeah.  You'd probably like it.  Of course, the weather at the Palace and in MegaLand is controlled unlike here."

            "Hmm," Mason said.  "We shall have to take this into serious consideration after meeting Princess Lana."

            Mario said, "She's a nice lady."

            "When do we need to be out there, Mario?" asked Burger.

            "As soon as possible, with the way things have been going."

            Mason said, "Okay.  My car is outside.  Paul Drake is meeting us out there."

            * * *

            Outside, Drake was indeed waiting.  So were the four Koopalings, who were hiding around a corner.  Perry, Della, Mario, Luigi, Princess Peach, Hamilton, and Lt. Arthur Tragg came out.  Drake said, "Ah, hello, everyone."  He was about as tall as Kevin and was healthily thin; he wore a tan office suit, and he had blonde hair.

            "Hello, Paul," Mason said.  "Paul Drake, these are Mario, Luigi, and Princess Peach Toadstool."

            Drake said, "Mario, Luigi, and Princess Peach, what an honour it is to meet you.  Tragg has told me a lot about you."

            "I know that some people may think that I am a real drag!" Tragg said.

            "Tragg. . . drag. . . I get it!" laughed Luigi.

            Larry said, "Big fat hairy rats, Ludwig!  They are with Lt. Tragg again!"

            "Hm.  I believe it prudent to be as cautious as possible.  We wait."

            Roy jeered, "I thought you were not afraid of police, Ludwig."

            "I am not afraid of police, you silly.  I'm just being cautious.  It would be poor logic to allow oneself to be captured."

            "Well," Tragg said, "I must get to police headquarters.  Where shall I go to get to this Palace of Power?"

            "Behind the Hollywood sign is a warp zone," Mario said.  "That will take you directly to the Palace, near the throne room of Her Highness, Princess Lana."

            "Okay," Tragg said.  "I shall see you all later."  He departed.

            Larry announced, "Seven sitting ducks dead ahead, Ludwig!  Tragg the Drag has left!"

            "Great!  Let's get those guys!"  The four sprang out and attacked.  "Greetings once more, good guy saps!"

            "What?" said Mario.  "Oh, great!  It's Ludwig and his fellow Koopalings again!"

            Mason asked, "What are you four Koopalings doing here?"

            "What does it look like we're doing?" Roy asked.  "We're attacking, Mr. Mason!"

            "Oh, Princess Toadstooge, it is time for your nap!" Larry said.  He fired sleeping powder in Princess Peach's face.

            Luigi said, "Princess!  What have you done do her, you freak?"

            "Why, Luigi!" said Ludwig.  "What does it look like?  We are committing a kidnapping!  Get it?  Kidnapping?  Ha, ha, ha!"

            Mario said, "Keep your hands off her, vile Koopas, or. . ."

            Morton asked, "Or what?  I do not see any Fire Flowers, Hammer Suits, Super Leaves, Super Mushrooms, Frog Suits, Tanooki Suits, Cape Feathers, or Kuribo's Shoes around here!  You don't even have a. . ."  Roy put his hand over Morton's mouth.

            "Shaddup!" Roy shouted.

            "Oh, yeah?" Luigi asked.  "Look what I have in my pocket. . . a treasure chest full of Starmen!"

            Larry commanded, "Roy!  Get Princess Toadstoop out of here and back to Metroid!  We shall hold these goody-goods back!"

            "Speak for yourself, Larry!" Morton said.  "I'm getting while the getting's good, and no later!"

            "Hey, 'Big Mouth'!" called Roy.  "As long as you're Kooping out too, at least help me with this princess."

            Morton and Roy lifted Princess Peach and carried her to the warp to Metroid.  Morton said, "Peach, you've been putting on weight!  No more midnight mushroom pizzas for you!"  Morton and Roy got Peach in the warp to Metroid and took their exit.

            Mario tried to bombard Larry with his firepower.  "Princess!" he called.

            "Too late, plumb-scum!" laughed Larry.

            Ludwig said, "Correct!  Now you will have to get past us."

            Burger announced, "You two are doing this right in front of legal officers."

            "Ludwig and I do not give a darn!" Larry said.

            Ludwig began, "Our purpose for coming up here is to. . ."

            Behind Ludwig, Tragg sarcastically interrupted, "Your purpose for coming up here is to get booked for disturbing the peace; am I right?"

            Larry said, "Look, Tragg, you do not know the half of what we are doing up here."

            "Let's see," said Ludwig.  "Tragg, where is the San Andreas Fault precisely?"

            Tragg asked, "Are you mocking justice?"

            "Who cares?" retorted Larry.

            "I do.  I am booking you two for disturbing the peace, and I am booking your two brothers for kidnapping."

            "Do it in VideoLand!" said Ludwig.

            "I am in front of your little warp.  I am afraid you're stuck here."

            Ludwig smiled deviously.  "Oh, are we, Tragg?  Thou shalt soon see how stuck we are.  Ancient Spirits of Evil, transform this decayed. . . whoops!  Wrong chant.  Forces of evil, transport Larry and me back to MotherBrain's control room!"  Magic forces cackled on Ludwig's fingers for half a second, then he and Larry vanished.  So did the warp.

            "How did they do that?" asked Tragg, baffled.  He had never really seen sorcery before.

            Mario said, "I don't know.  The Koopas are sneaky devils, especially those two.  They also wait until the last moment to make a grand exit."

            MotherBrain's hologram appeared.  "Hello, everyone.  You should know who I am.  I am the extremely brilliant MotherBrain.  As soon as you get that goody-good Captain N where I want him, I shall give your dopey little planet to my wonderful daughter, Wendy O. 'Kootsie Pie' Koopa."

            "If you have called to threaten us," Mario snapped, "it will not work, you deranged brain!"

            "Oh, I think that it will.  Wendy, my dear, tell them your little plan."  Wendy's hologram appeared beside MotherBrain's.

            "As soon as Ludwig gets through with his little brain-swapper machine," said Wendy, "I shall implant my superior brain into Peach's inferior body.  Then, all will think that yours truly is Princess T.!"

            "Your brain?  Superior?  Ha, ha, ha!  That's a laugh," Mario said.

            Burger said, "I have already dreamt up subpoenas for people to attend court, and you two are on my mental list.  Next thing you'll be telling us is that you will tell the truth on the witness stand."

            MotherBrain said, "We shall."

            "We will, ditz-face!" said Wendy.

            "Talk about mockeries!" Mario commented.

            "When we take over the galaxy," MotherBrain said, "you fools had better stay out of my dear Wendy's way, or else you'll be hearing from me!  See you in VideoLand, suckers!"  Her and Wendy's holograms disappeared as MotherBrain's diabolical laugh faded away.

            Tragg said, "I only called in to the police department.  I thought that those evil Koopa brats would try something else."

            "Thank you, Tragg," said Mario.

            "Let's go.  I have a feeling that this will be a most interesting case.  Would you not agree, Perry?"

            "I do agree, Tragg," Mason said.  "Mario and Luigi, could you ride with Paul?"

            "Sure," said Mario.  Luigi nodded.

            "Very well.  Della and Hamilton, you can ride with me.  Got your car, Lieutenant?"

            "Yes, it's parked in the parking lot," said Tragg.  "Next to a car with plates marked, 'MASON.' "  He smiled.  "Vanity, counsellor?"

            Mason smiled back.  "I am entitled to some vanity.  Let's go.  Paul, we'll follow you since your passengers know where we're going."

            "Sure," Paul said.  Mario got into the front passenger side, Luigi into the back seat behind him.

            Mason led the others to the parking lot and unlocked his car.  Della sat in the front passenger side, and Burger sat behind Della.  Mason started his car as Tragg started his.  Mason led the way out of the lot with Tragg behind him, and the two followed Drake to Hollywood.

            * * *

            They all parked in a free parking lot near the Hollywood sign and hiked up the hill to the warp.  "Here is the warp," Luigi said.

            "All right," said Mason.  "Let's go."  They all stepped through the warp.

            * * *

            Control Room, Metroid.

            Ludwig was watching on the monitor in MotherBrain's control room on Metroid.  "Those fruit flakes!"

            Eggplant Wizard asked, "You want fruit flakes, Prince 'Kooky'?"

            Ludwig screamed, "NO!!!  I DON'T WANT FRUIT FLAKES, YOU TWIT!!!"

            "Well, you do not have to be so patient about it."

            "SHUT UP BEFORE I BLAST YOU INTO KOOP-DOM COME, YOU STUPID RUTABAGA!!!"

            "Okay!  Okay!  Sorry I mentioned it!  Sheesh!"  Where's your sense of humour? Eggplant Wizard thought.

            * * *

            Throne Room, Palace of Power.

            At the Palace of Power, the Marios arrived with Perry Mason, Della Street, Paul Drake, Hamilton Burger, and Lt. Arthur Tragg.  "Hello," greeted Lana.  "I am Princess Lana, ruler of VideoLand."

            Mason said, "It's a real pleasure, Princess Lana.  I am Perry Mason.  This gentleman is Paul Drake, Sr., a detective who works with me; this is my confidential secretary, Della Street; this gentleman is Hamilton Burger, district attorney of Los Angeles.  This is Lt. Arthur Tragg, a homicide detective and police officer.  It is not often that I - heh, heh! - wander this far away from home."

            "Heh, heh!  I would like to visit your world someday."

            Drake said, "Yes, Princess Lana, but on to business first."

            "Oh!  Right!  I assume that the Mario Brothers have told you of our predicament."

            "Yes, they have," Della Street said, "and we were convinced when we saw the Koopalings sitting in the middle of Hamilton Burger's office, telling of the very predicament."

            Burger said, "According to the Mario Brothers, those four freaks actually told me the truth."

            "Yes.  That is very surprising," said Tragg.

            "Well, Perry," said Burger, "Tragg and I'll see you in court.  I have so much evidence to gather up for the prosecution's case."

            Lana said, "Oh, wait a minute!  Here are books of the laws which govern everything in VideoLand."  She handed one each to Mason, Burger, and Tragg.

            "Thank you, Your Highness," Mason said.  "I think I have plenty of evidence to gather for the defence case."