July 22.

            The Metroid Mind-Mirror replied,

            MotherBrain demanded, "Who asked you anyway, big mouth?"  The Metroid Mind-Mirror reflection stuck out its tongue rudely.  MotherBrain blasted it with one shock of the electro-ray on top of her glass jar.  "Ludwig, who is the most beautiful of them all?"

            "You, my dear MotherBrain," said Ludwig.  "Who else is the beauty queen of the universe?"

            "That's right!  If anyone says otherwise, I shall personally remove their lying tongue!"

            Burger smiled smugly.  "Otherwise."

            "Do not be so literal, Ham Burger, unless you want to try to survive the Corridors of Metroid," MotherBrain said.  This was the shortest path of all, but it was still dangerous.

            Burger said, "All right!  You do not have to get an attitude about it!"

            Ludwig ordered, "Shut up!"  In jumped Captain N and half of the N-Team!

            "What in VideoLand. . .?" exclaimed MotherBrain.  "It's you!  How. . . how. . . how. . ."

            Captain N said, "Thanks to our new satellite, MotherBoob, we found out what was really going on."

            "Aaah!  Now the human has ventured upon insult!"

            Ludwig said, "This was definitely not part of Wily's plan!"

            "Of course it wasn't, Ludwig!  These do-gooding buffoons always stop us!  It ain't fair!"

            "I think it's fair!" Captain N said smugly.

            "Why?  Why?  Why?  Why do the good guys always think it's fair?  I think that we bad guys ought to win some of the time!"

            Samus said, "Save your breath for a little space-walk, MotherBrain."

            "Not so fast!" Ludwig said.  "My magic will paralyse you!  Ha, ha, ha!"  Ludwig's magic did, indeed, make all N-Team members in the room paralysed.  "Now, who wants to be first on the finished-off list?"

            Captain N said, "Blast you, Prince Baron Ludwig 'Kooky' von(Bowser)Koopa!  Blast you and your kooky Koopa Klan!"  In came Link with the Master Sword.

            Surprised, Ludwig queried, "What in the name of all that is evil are you doing here?"

            "I've come to stop your reign of terror, Ludwig. . . with the Master Sword!"  Link used the Master Sword to blast free the other N-Team members.

            "Ghastly!  If your little Master Sword cannot harm Agahnim's body, see what it can do to me!"  Link tried to slash Ludwig's body, but the Master Sword passed through the villain like air.

            "-Gasp!-  Not even the Master Sword can stop him."

            Captain N suggested, "Why not use it as a reflector to reflect his evil magic back at him?"

            "Good idea, Kevin!  I'll try it."

            After firing a ray of his most powerful energy, Ludwig asked, "What did you suggest?"

            Link reflected the ray back at Ludwig with the Master Sword.  "He suggested I do this!"  When the spell hit Ludwig, the evil turtle received a real shock.

            "Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!  Blast you!  I shall. . . I shall. . . I shall have to recharge my power.  I am as weak as a squished moth. . . and Superman when he's exposed to Kryptonite!"

            Captain N said, "Taste Zapper, Ludwig von Koop-stoop!"  Captain N blasted Ludwig out of consciousness with a powerful blast of his Zapper.

            "No!" screamed MotherBrain.  "Ludwig!"  She grew extremely angry.  "Kevin Keene, if you killed him, I will blow your accursèd posterior off the mortal plane!  Now, get the heck out of here before I kill you all!"  She used her tentacle to pull a lever that released Captain N's parents, Perry Mason, Della Street, Paul Drake, Hamilton Burger, and Lt. Tragg.

            To himself, Kevin thought, Gosh!  I did not know that she really cared for him that much.  He and everyone else all took their leave for the Palace of Power.

            * * *

            July 23.

            Conference Room adjacent to the Throne Room, Palace of Power.

            The next morning, Lana was speaking with Kevin in the Conference Room.  "Are you sure that you didn't kill him, Kevin?"

            "Yes, I'm sure.  Remember that none of them can be destroyed or killed without first all Metroids in the universe plus the planet Metroid destroyed."

            "Oh, that is true."  MotherBrain's and Ludwig's holograms appeared.

            MotherBrain laughed, "Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!"

            "What are your holograms doing here?" queried Lana.

            Ludwig said, "We just called to give Captain N our regards.  As you can see, I am very alive.  You cannot destroy me, you fool!"

            Kevin said, "I wasn't trying to.  I was just trying to knock you out."

            "Boy, did you ever!  I still feel like my head is spinning.  Now, farewell, 'friends'!"  Their holograms disappeared simultaneously.

            "Boy, are they annoying!" exclaimed Kevin.  Entered Perry Mason.  "Mr. Mason!  Good morning."

            Mason said, "Hello, Kevin."

            "Are my parents all right?"

            "Yes.  Do you wish to 'confront' them now?"

            "Yes, I suppose.  Come on, Princess.  I'll make the introductions."

            Lana said, "Very well, Kevin."  They went into the throne room.

            Ned was asking Hamilton Burger, "Are you sure we're safe?"

            Burger responded, "I am almost positive. . . almost being because evil can strike whenever.  Ah!  Bonjour {Bawⁿh-zhúr} [French] (Good morning), Kevin."

            "Hello, everyone," Kevin said.

            Cheryl said, "Kevin, my son, I thought I was never going to see you again!"

            "Well, we're glad that you know how to take care of yourself," Ned said.

            "I'm really sorry I left home. . . honestly.  However, I thought that VideoLand needed me too badly for me to come back home, and. . ."  MotherBrain's hologram appeared.

            "Good day again, Captain Numskull!" replied the vicious cerebral being.

            "MotherBrain!  You just harassed us a second ago!  What are you doing?"

            "I just called to tell your do-gooding pals and your parents that it is your fault that I, the devious, evil, and beautiful MotherBrain, do not fill my rightful place as queen of the Kingdom of VideoLand!"

            Lana said, "The N-Team has always stopped your evil plans, MotherBrain."

            "Perhaps, but, had Captain N not remained in VideoLand, I would have conquered the galaxy!  Ha, ha, ha!  In fact, if you take the boy back now, you will have my undying gratitude."

            "Why are you saying this if you want my parents to make me leave?  And why are you calling me a boy?  I'm eighteen and a half years old!"

            MotherBrain ordered, "Shaddup!  I am going to be queen or empress of the Milky Way Galaxy, no matter what you puny humans can dish out at my big, beautiful brain.  My deviously clever son, Ludwig 'Kooky' von(Bowser)Koopa, is working on unstoppable one-foot tall electrons that will be able to electrify you!  Ha, ha, ha!  Before I go, I would like to make one teeny announcement:  if you do not want to be electrified, you will give up."

            Lana began to ask, "What are you. . ."

            "You have one hour to decide!  Hee, hee, hee!"  Her hologram disappeared.

            Ned demanded, "What is that. . . that. . . that. . . that brain in a bottle doing?"

            "-Sigh.-  MotherBrain is up to something as usual," Lana said.

            Mario said, "Do not worry.  We shall clog their pipes!"  Mario and Luigi entered the warp to Metroid.

            * * *

            Wily's Lab, Metroid.

            MotherBrain said, "Uh, oh!  We have company, son.  Those pasta freaks!"

            "Where are they?"

            "They're. . ."  The Marios burst in through the ceiling.  Mario landed on King Hippo.  Luigi landed on Eggplant Wizard.

            King Hippo, thinner than a dime from being squashed, said, "Hey!  Get off me, pasta-licking loser!"

            Mario said, "Sure, King Idiot!"

            After Mario had gotten off him, King Hippo said, "Whew!  What a load off of my mind!  Go on a diet."

            "And ruin my figure?  No way!"

            "I can't see!  Get off of me!" Eggplant Wizard said.

            Ludwig demanded, "What are you uncivilised pasta freaks doing in our humble abode?"

            Mario said, "We're here to destroy your 'one-foot tall electrons,' Ludwig von Koopa.  What is in that bottle over there?"

            Ludwig said, "No!  Do not destroy it!"  Mario destroyed the bottle with a fireball.  Out popped a small electrical charge that died down in a second.  "You imbeciles have destroyed my top experiment!  Get out of here before I lose the rest of my marbles, Super Pains-in-the-drain!"

            "What do you think of that?  Not even offering us lunch!" said Luigi.  Mario entered the warp to the Palace.  His hand came out and pulled in Luigi.  "Whoa!"

            Ludwig said, "I have to get that darned cloaking device to work properly!  I know; I'll watch 'The Face of the Enemy.'  Since Troi became captured and put on a Romulan Warbird, we can see what the source for the cloak is."

            * * *

            Throne Room, Palace of Power.

            Captain N asked, "Really?"

            Ned replied, "Yes, they have made a fourth MegaMan game.  Not surprisingly, its name is MegaMan IV."  In warped the Marios.

            "Well, we sure cleaned Ludwig's pipes," Mario said.

            "He seemed a little bit angry after we destroyed his super-molecular-do-funny, did he not, brother?" asked Luigi.

            "Of course, brother, but the Koopas always get angry when we destroy their junk."  Ludwig appeared in a hologram.

            Ludwig said, "It was not junk, you fools.  It was a priceless experiment!"

            Luigi joked, "I'm glad it was not worth anything!  Heh, heh, heh!"

            "You are either unimaginably stupid or too jocular for your own good!  When I start making trouble again, you will be finished!"  His hologram disappeared.

            Captain N asked, "Say you and whose army?"

            "I've only known von Koopa for a few days, and I despise him already," Lana said.

            Mario said, "I've known him for two or three years, and I simply HATE him!"

            Ludwig's voice flooded the room.  "You have only three days, N-Team.  No more!"

            Link said, "Pardon me, Zelda, but we should get back to Hyrule Castle.  Who knows when someone will try to capture the Triforces. . . or if the alarm will screw up?"

            "You are right," said Zelda.  "Please excuse us.  We must be getting back to Hyrule."

            Lana said, "Okay, Zelda.  Be well!"

            Zelda said, "We wish the same to you.  We'll see you later."  Zelda and Link left by the warp zone to Hyrule Castle (a.k.a. North Castle).

            * * *

            July 26.

            Control Room, Metroid.

            In three days, MotherBrain was attempting to devise a new plan.  "Those pip-squeaks always interfere.  That is your fault, Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo!"

            "Our fault?" demanded Eggplant Wizard, getting gumption.  "You two are the ones messing up!"

            Ludwig was enraged at the aubergine's insolence.  "Do not speak to MotherBrain in that manner, you disloyal vegetable!  Speak not that way unless you want to be fried eggplant!"

            "Have you any right to talk to me that way?"

            "SHUT UP, YOU IDIOT!!!"  He fried Eggplant Wizard with his Koopa-Sceptre.  "HAST THOU ANY FOOLISH OBJECTIONS TO OUR RIGHTFUL AUTHORITY, KING HIPPO?!?"

            King Hippo, innocent of the charge, said, "Who, me?  No way, your regal Koopa-ness."

            "Wise decision.  That has a much better ring to it.  I shall reward your loyalty once I find a powerful battleship for you to command."

            MotherBrain asked, "Ludwig, do you have any time tubes?"

            "Not on me, but I have some at Castle of Koopa in Koopa Kingdom in the Mushroom World.  Why?"

            "I was just thinking that, if we could make a time machine in some way, we could prevent Captain Ninny from being drawn into VideoLand and prevent Mario and Luigi from falling down that drain pipe into the Mushroom Kingdom."

            "Well, I. . .  ho, ho.  Ha, ha.  Hee, hee.  HAR, HAR, HAR!!!  WHAT A DIABOLICAL IDEA!!!  HA, HA, HA!!!"  He pressed a button.  "Mouser, get your filthy rodent's rear in here."  Entered Mouser.

            Mouser said, "I am here, Your Repulsive and Repugnant Koopaness.  What is up?"

            "My exceedingly loyal and just as exceedingly brown-nosing Mouser, could you warp to Koopa Castle in Koopa Kingdom of the Mushroom World and bring my box of time tubes?  They are in my room.  And use the utmost care."

            "Do not give it another thought, Your Evilness.  I'll be right back."  He entered the warp to Koopa Castle, goes to Ludwig's room, picked up the box labelled 'time tubes,' and brought them back to the control room of Metroid.  "Here you are, Your Intelligence."

            Ludwig opened the box and looked in.  "Ah, thank you.  I know that I can count on you to get simple jobs done correctly. . ."  He glared at Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo.  ". . .unlike some others I know."

            Eggplant Wizard said, "You would not count on me?  I am insulted!"

            "Good."  He pressed a button.  "All Koopa royalty, please stop your destructive activities at once to come into the control room of Metroid."  Within mere moments, all Koopalings, King Koopa, and Koopa's mother were in the control room of Metroid.  "Allow me to lay out MotherBrain's and my devious plan of conquest."

            Koopa said, "This sounds good."

            "I am planning to make a time machine, go back in time, stop the Ultimate Warp Zone from. . ."  In warped Captain N, Princess Lana, Simon Belmont, Mario, Luigi, Kid Icarus, MegaMan, Toad, Princess Peach, and Samus.

            "Do you not know that you should never tamper with history, MotherBrain?" asked Lana.

            "Oh, no!" said MotherBrain.  "Not them again!"

            Ludwig said, "-Gasp!-  Mouser!  Get these time tubes back to Koopa Castle before they are destroyed!"  He shoved the box into Mouser's hands.

            Mouser said, "Yes, Prince von Koopa."  Mouser swiftly ran for the warp.  However, Mario leapt in front of the warp.  "Yah!"

            Mario said, "Not so fast, Mouser."

            "Mario, get out of my way!"

            "No way, rodent."  Mario swung out his leg and tripped Mouser.  Mouser flung the box accidentally.

            Ludwig commanded, "SOMEONE GRAB THAT BOX!!!"  MotherBrain grabbed the box with her tentacles and stopped it from hitting the ground.  "Whew!"

            Eggplant Wizard sarcastically asked, "What's the matter?  Are you not going to fry Mouser for 'trying to drop' your time-tubes?"

            "Shut up, you bloody idiot!"

            "Do not think that your box of time-warping tubes is safe yet, Prince Baron Ludwig 'Kooky' von(Bowser)Koopa!" said Kevin.

            Ludwig exclaimed, "How dare you call me by my full name!"  Captain N drew his Zapper and blasted the box of time tubes before MotherBrain could see. . . and destroyed every one!

            MotherBrain exclaimed, "Oh, no!  The time tubes are all destroyed!  Blast you, Kevin!"

            "I shall overlook this intrusion into our domain, N-Team, if you turn around and leave the same way you entered.  As for you, Kevin, I have put up with you for long enough!  One day in the near future, human, I shall fix you."

            "The plan that we have just foiled was the one that would enable you to defeat me, Ludwig."

            "Do not think so, Kevin.  I relish the day when I may see you defeated."

            "I'll try not to take that personally."  He and the N-Team left for the Palace.

            * * *

            Throne Room, Palace of Power.

            Curious, Cheryl asked, "Kevin, why did you have to do that?"

            "To keep the Brain-Team from sealing me out of VideoLand."

            "What effect would the Brain-Team have on us, son?  We are across the galaxy some considerable distance away," said Ned.

            "I know that, but. . .  Dr. Wright, would you mind elaborating to my parents why the Brain-Team is a threat to everyone living in this galaxy?"

            Dr. Wright said, "I would not mind at all, Kevin.  You see, with VideoLand's increased technology - and plentiful supply of dilithium crystals, which enable extremely fast speeds even without warp propulsion technology - the Brain-Team could, even when the N-Team was in the crisis of falling into MotherBrain's hands before Kevin arrived, indeed travel the distance over space to your area of the Milky Way within, with a reasonable estimation, twenty-four hours.  Only the Five Most Potent Forces of Good in the Milky Way Galaxy have the power of defeating the Brain-Team. . . make that the Four Most Potent Forces of Good, now that the Mario-Team and N-Team Base are combined."

            Captain N asked, "The what?"

            "The what?" repeated Lana.  Neither understood.

            "I shall explain at the proper time, which I fear will come before the year is out.  I feel it may be inappropriate at this time.  I shall tell you, though."

            Captain N said, "I see.  Hmm."

            Mason commented, "What a baffling case that has been.  I shall be moving out here.  I think that my four friends will be, too."

            "Count on that from me," said Drake.

            "Make that from me, too," Della said.

            Burger said, "I shall, also.  This is an interesting land."

            Tragg jokingly said, "Oh, I think I can find plenty of criminals to arrest."

            "Definitely, Lt. Tragg," Lana said.

            Dr. Wright asked Kevin's parents, "What about you two?"

            Cheryl said, "I am not sure."

            "I am not sure, either," said Ned.

            "What do you think we should do about Kevin?"

            "Well, I don't know."

            Mason said, "I think you should leave it up to him to make the decision.  It is simply because he has the right, since he is eighteen and a half years old.  In addition, if you forced him to leave VideoLand, both VideoLand and Earth could be overwhelmed shortly by the Brain-Team's forces.  Then, the galaxy."

            Cheryl asked, "Well, Kevin will you stay here or come back to Earth with us?"

            "That is a pretty heavy decision," Kevin said.

            Ned said, "Son, I suggest you stay here."

            "Hm?  Why?"

            "I don't want our world destroyed by the Brain-Team.  Would you?"

            "Not while I can do anything about it.  I'll stay."

            "Very well," said Cheryl.  "Come visit some time, all right?"

            "Yes, Mother.  Are you leaving?"

            "Yes," said Ned.  "Before people suspect us of disappearing, too."

            "Well, I'll show you the warp home."  He led them into the Ultimate Warp Zone Chamber and looked at a terminal screen.  "The other end of the warp is still near the Hollywood sign."

            "All right.  We brought our own car."

            "Okay.  I'll miss you two."

            "We'll miss you, too, Kevin," said Cheryl.  "Be good."

            Kevin smiled.  "I will, Mom.  Farewell."

            "Farewell, son," said Ned.

            "Farewell, Kevin," Cheryl said.  "See you."

            "See you, Mom," Kevin said.  Kevin's parents quickly left.  He then gathered his mixed emotions and returned to the Throne Room.  "They're gone."

            Lana said, "Well, Kevin, you're luckier than I am.  I wish I could see my father sometime."

            "Well, I'm staying."

            Simon looked in his mirror.  "Obviously, he is not doing it because he is handsome.  I obviously am the most handsome person in the galaxy.  -Kiss!-  -Kiss!-"

            Lana thought, Oh, he's handsome, Simon.  More so than you.  I'm happy he doesn't emphasise it like you do.

            "Simon Belmont, please," said Kevin.

            Kid Icarus said, "Simon, Princess Lana does not like you the most.  She likes me the best!  I am the one for whom she makes video-chip-cookies!"

            MegaMan said, "I am the one to whom she reads bed-time-stories, so I am her next-to-favourite.  That leaves you out, Simon!"

            Simon said, "I'm her favourite!  I'm the most handsome!"

            "She likes me the best!" said Kid Icarus.

            MegaMan said, "She reads me the stories!  Second-best here!"

            Kevin whistled.  "Cool it, guys!  I know who her least-favourite is, among the three of you."

            Kid Icarus said, "I bet it's you, Simon."

            "Yes," said MegaMan.  "I am not her least-favourite."

            Simon said, "You are a robot, MegaMan.  How could she like you the most?"

            "That's my best friend to whom you are talking, Simon-ious Belmont-icus!  And he's an android, more than a mere robot-icus!"

            "Yeah!" said MegaMan.  "How could she possibly like someone as conceited as you?"

            Simon asked, "How could she possibly like someone who flits around in these ridiculous fairy-wings?"

            "That's power wings, Simon!" said Kid Icarus.

            Kevin pressed the 'SELECT' button on his Power Pad.  "Hit the pause, you three!"  The pause only affected Simon, Kid Icarus, and MegaMan.  "No wonder VideoLand was losing the war when we got here!  These guys were just fighting among themselves."  He re-pressed the 'SELECT' button to turn off the pause.

            Lana said, "Look, you three. . ."

            "See, Simon?" said MegaMan.  "Kid Icarus and I told you we were her favourites!"

            "Ready for long pause!" GameBoy said.

            Kid Icarus said, "Come on, MegaMan.  Let's stop wasting time with Simon."

            "Yes.  That fool is not as intelligent as we are."

            "You have that correct!" said Lana.

            "WHAT?!?" Simon exclaimed.  "But, Your Highness. . ."

            "And guess who my least favourite is now!"

            "Could it be you, Mario?"

            Mario said, "Now, wait a plunger-pushing minute, Drain-O brain!  You are the one who started this skirmish!"

            "Mario, let's just stay out of it!" Luigi said.

            "Good idea, brother.  I'd rather be in a lake full of Bowser's piranha fish than be arguing with this fool."

            Toad said, "Don't start any fights, dudes."

            "Mario, just calm down," said Peach.

            Yoshi said, "Ooh, I'm hungry."

            Mario said, "You're always hungry, Yoshi."

            "So are you, Mario," said Simon.

            "Just a pasta-eating minute, Belmont!  Is that an insult?"

            "Yeah, a large one.  It may be an insult, but it is the truth."

            Mario took something out of his pocket.  "In that case, let me introduce you to my rotten spaghetti noodle!"

            "Whoa!" said Kevin.  He pressed the 'SELECT' button on his Power Pad and paused Mario and Simon.

            Lana said, "Thank you, Kevin."

            "I know!" said Kid Icarus.  "Let's lock Simon up in a closet and throw away the key!"

            MegaMan said, "That goes mega for me, too!"

            Lana carried Simon to a closet in the conference room.  "This egomaniac sure needs a psychiatrist."  She locked him in the closet and gave the key to Kevin, who put the key in his pocket.

            "There.  We'll let him out in half an hour."  He restarted time.

            * * *

            Lemmy's and Iggy's Room, Metroid.

            Lemmy and Iggy were watching this little episode.  "Wow!  You know what this means, Lemmy?" asked Iggy.

            Lemmy said, "Yes!  If we can get into the Palace of Power and extinguish Simon Belmont, Princess Pea-head will be out one of her foolish officers."

            "One of the highest-ranking officers of Her Do-gooder-ness's court, nonetheless.  We won't ask Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo to do this; they will surely mess it up."

            Ludwig entered.  "You are too correct!"

            Lemmy and Iggy said, "Ludwig!"

            "Your room still looks like a pigsty!"

            Lemmy said, "But that's unimportant, right?  We came up with a plan concerning them."

            "Oh?  What is your plan, my brothers?"

            "Princess Lana has locked Belmont up in a closet," said Iggy.

            Lemmy said, "Yes.  If we can get into that Palace, we can extinguish the flame on Simon Belmont!"

            "A truly evil idea, gruesome twosome.  I'm glad that you thought of it."

            Iggy said, "Thank you, Your Most Royal Lowness."  Iggy and Lemmy bowed.

            Ludwig said, "You do not need to bow before me, Lemmy and Iggy.  Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo!  You had better get your fat selves in here right NOW, or you will be literally on a hot tin roof. . . without shoes!"  To the door rushed Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo, who fought to get into the room.

            King Hippo said, "Let me in first, Eggplant Wizard!"

            "No!" said Eggplant Wizard.  "He called my name first, King Hippo!"

            "He meant for me to come first!  Let me in!"

            Ludwig ordered, "Shut up and get in here orderly before we turn you into hors-d'�uvres {ór-deuhv}!"  Eggplant Wizard entered first, then King Hippo.

            Lemmy said, "It sure took you long enough to get in here.  What kept you?"

            Ludwig covered his face with his right hand.  "I can see that I have already made a prodigious mistake."  He then pointed at the two idiots with the index finger of his right hand.  "Listen up, you bumbling donut-brains!  Now that my two intelligent brothers have come up with the perfect plan, I have no intention of letting that Simon Bats-in-belfry Belmont slip through my claws!"  He fired a shock from his right index finger which, when it reached King Hippo, raised him in the air and positioned him above Eggplant Wizard.  "Is that clear enough for you?"  Ludwig stopped the stream of electricity holding up King Hippo, and King Hippo fell right on top of the foolish Eggplant Wizard, who was merely looking up.

            King Hippo said, "Uh, yes, Ludwig."

            "As WHAT are you to address me, fool?"

            "Oh!  Right, Princess Ludwig."

            "I AM A MALE, NOT A FEMALE, YOU IDIOT!!!"

            "I mean Prince Ludwig."

            "Right!  Look, fools, get this job done correctly, or you are out of a job!  Not to mention a life."

            Eggplant Wizard tossed off King Hippo.  "What are we supposed to do, Prince Ludwig?"

            "You two dunder-heads are to break into the closet in the Palace of Power in which Lana locked up Belmont and to bring Belmont, unconscious, to me."

            "Oh!  Of course. . . which closet?"

            "The one in the north-western end of the conference room.  Where else?"

            King Hippo said, "Fine.  Come on, Eggplant Wizard."

            Eggplant Wizard asked, ��Estás viniendo, pelota de manteca?  {Áys-tahs vé-nyáyⁿh-dó, páy-ló-tah dáy mahn-táy-kah?}  [Spanish]  (Coming, lard ball?)�

            "What did you call me?"

            "I called you pelota de manteca {páy-ló-tah dáy mahⁿh-táy-kah} [Spanish] (lard ball), you vache espagnole {vahsh ehs-pah-nyól} [French] (Spanish cow)!"  In came MotherBrain.

            MotherBrain asked, "Whom are you calling a Spanish cow, Eggplant Wizard?"

            King Hippo said, "First you call me pelota de manteca {páy-ló-tah dáy mahⁿh-táy-kah} [Spanish] (lard ball), and now you call me a Spanish cow!  I ought to boot you to Madrid!"

            Eggplant Wizard said, "I thought that vache espagnole {vahsh ehs-pah-nyól} [French] (Spanish cow) meant 'Spanish elephant.' "

            "WHY, YOU WORTHLESS VEGETABLE!!!"

            MotherBrain said, "Shut up and get going!"

            "Let's go," Eggplant Wizard said.

            Ludwig said, "Wait!  I forgot that the closet in the conference room in the Palace of Power has a ceiling made of Tetris blocks!  I can control Tetris blocks with my mind!  I shall fix him!"

            * * *

            Throne Room, Palace of Power.

            In the Palace, the N-Team was discussing what they should do with Simon.  Lana asked, "So, what should we do with Simon?"

            "I do not know," Kevin said.  "I may know video games, a lot of math, and a lot of everything else, but I definitely do not know psychology yet.  I haven't begun studying that."

            Mason began, "Why do we not. . ."  MotherBrain's, Ludwig's, Lemmy's, Iggy's, and Eggplant Wizard's holograms appeared.

            "Why do you not head for the hills?" asked MotherBrain.  "Ha, ha, ha!"

            "What do you want this time?" Lana asked.

            Iggy said, "We just called to 'pay our respects.' "

            Lemmy added, "Watch out for falling blocks."

            "Yes," said Ludwig.  "Falling Tetris blocks!  Ha, ha, ha!"

            Eggplant Wizard said, "Sure!  Try searching Metroid, but you will not find the Sacred Square anywhere!  Nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah!"

            "Quit being so immature, you stupid excuse for a servant," said MotherBrain.  "Bye, bye, N-Twerps!"  The holograms of all Brain-Team members disappeared from the room.

            "Falling Tetris blocks?" Captain N asked.

            Perry asked, "What is that rumbling sound I hear?"

            Lana said, "It's the congregation room."  She was then horrified.  "Oh, my God!  The closet in which we put Simon is made of Tetris blocks!"  In the congregation room, the ceiling was crumbling on Simon.

            Simon cried, "Yow!  Okay!  I'm sorry I started fights!  I'm sorry!"  He heard a warp open.  "Someone's warping in here."  In warped Lemmy and Iggy.

            Lemmy said, "That must be the closet."  Lemmy fired a ray from his sceptre and blasted open the closet.

            Iggy laughed, "Look, 'Hip'!  The ceiling is crumbling on Simon!  Ha, ha!"

            "Help!" Simon cried.  "It's the Terror-twins!"

            Lemmy said, "What an awesome name!"  In rushed Kevin and Mario.

            "Hey!  It's Lemmy and Iggy Koopa!" Kevin said.

            Mario said, "I'll Koopa them!"  Mario leapt high and stomped Lemmy and Iggy in the head.

            Iggy said, "It's Mario."

            "-Gulp!-" Lemmy said.  "Worse than that!  There's Captain N!"

            "CAPTAIN N?!?  LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!!!"

            Kevin said, "Yes, that is I, who am here to clean your pipes."  He blasted Iggy and Lemmy with his Zapper.

            "Yow!  That guy's Zapper is worse than his bite!  Let's get out of here!" said Lemmy.

            Iggy said, "I could not have said it better - yow! - myself!"

            Captain N said, "Wait.  I am not finished blasting you yet."  He pressed 'Up' on his Power Pad and leapt to a point in front of the warp to Metroid.

            Lemmy said, "-Gulp!-  That kid will clean our clocks!"

            "I'm eighteen and a half years old, so do not call me a kid, Lemmy 'Hip' (Bowser)Koopa!  I am a few years older than you."

            Lemmy said, "We're thirteen, Captain N!"  In warped Ludwig, who knocked Kevin out of his way.

            "Right," said Ludwig, "and I am nineteen years old, Captain N."

            Captain N said, "So?  Half a year does not make much of a difference."

            "I've had half of a year to become more intelligent than you, Captain Nice-guy.  We came for Simon Belmont."

            Mario said, "You are not getting him, von Koopa!"  Mario leapt high.

            "Fool!"  Mario landed on Ludwig and was cast away onto the floor magically.

            "Yow!  What happened?"

            "I told you right before I sealed you in Neon Castle after capturing you, pasta-freak, that you cannot stomp on a Koopa after that Koopa is older than 18 99/100 years."  In warped Larry.

            Larry said, "I am almost a year from being that old."

            "Larry, what are you doing here?"

            "I came to feast my eyes on the way you cleverly handle these N-Twerps."

            "Well, do it on a Metroid-monitor.  You might get konked out."  In warped Bowser Koopa and his mother.

            "Ah!" said Koopa.  "Mario!  I assume that your foolishness has relieved you of all of your strength!  Ha, ha, ha!"

            Mario groaned.  "That it has, you nasty, green bully, but I shall regain it.  You can count on it."

            Koopa's mother said, "I have to hand it to you, Koopums!  You sure know how to make a mommy proud!"

            Captain N said, "And I know how to make you unproud of your dumb son, Mother Koopa!"

            "Don't be mean to my boy, Captain N!  That's my job!"

            "What is the matter, Captain N?" Koopa asked.  "Your energy knocked out?"

            Ludwig said, "That is what happened when I shoved him out of my way, the royal pain in the neck!"

            Simon said, "Pain-in-the-neck this, Kooky!"  Simon whacked Ludwig's rear with his whip.

            "Yeouch!  That hurt, you stupid vampire hunter!"

            Larry said, "Well, I think that it is time that we scrammed."  When Larry tried to run out, Ludwig grabbed his hair to make him stay.

            Ludwig said, "Not so fast, 'Cheatsy.'  You wanted to know how I deviously handle my adversaries, so pay attention."

            "Oh!  Of course."

            "Now, the first thing you do is. . ."  Simon whipped him up between the legs!  ". . .YOW!!!  The first thing you do is not to let the enemy hurt you at your - ooch! - your weakest point.  WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!?  PULVERISE THAT FOOLISH VAMPIRE HUNTER!!!"

            Larry drew his sceptre.  "With extreme pleasure, O evil brother."  Larry fired a beam from his sceptre that wrapped Simon up in a ton of bandage.

            "Hey!" said Simon.  "I'm all wrapped up in myself this time!"

            "How correct you are, Simon Belmont.  Ha, ha, ha!"

            Ludwig said, "Good work, evil brother.  You remember well what Mumm-ra did to Lion-O on the day Tygra discovered the Key to the Book of Omens."

            Koopa said, "Good work?  Excellent work!  Ha, ha, ha!"

            "Thank you both," said Larry.  In came Kid Icarus and MegaMan.

            "What's going on?" Kid Icarus asked.

            "It's King Bowser, Prince Ludwig, Prince Larry, Prince Lemmy, Prince Iggy, and King Bowser's mother!" MegaMan said.

            Bowser asked, "You were expecting maybe Donkey Kong?"

            Kid Icarus said, "There was always the hope.  I suppose we'll have to stop you now."  Kid Icarus drew his bow.

            "Let's mega-take care of these idiots, Kid Icarus," MegaMan said.

            Ludwig said, "I beg your pardon!  I am not an idiot!"

            Iggy said, "We'll rock 'em to sleep for you, Ludwig!"  Iggy and Lemmy fired spells from their sceptres and turned MegaMan and Kid Icarus into rocks.  "Ha, ha, ha!  That was too easy!  It was also too funny!  Ha, ha, ha!"

            Captain N finished recovering.  "Oh, yeah?  Well, you won't think that this will be so funny!"

            Ludwig said, "Stop him!  He's reaching for his pause button!"

            Kevin hit his 'SELECT' button.  "Pause!"  Kevin only paused the Brain-Team.  In came Princess Lana, Princess Peach, Perry Mason, Paul Drake, Della Street, Hamilton Burger, Lt. Tragg, Luigi, Yoshi, Toad, and Samus Aran.

            "Kevin!  Are you all right?" Lana asked.

            "Fine."

            Luigi said, "They stoned Kid Icarus and MegaMan."  He grabbed the most powerful sceptre, that of Ludwig.  "Ludwig von Koopa's sceptre is the Koopas' most powerful sceptre, bestowed upon the heir to the Throne of Koopa."  Just then, Kevin's pause wore off.

            "My sceptre!" Ludwig screamed, enraged.  "Luigi has my sceptre!  Give that back, you pilfering plumber!"  Ludwig fired a ray of low-voltage electricity and nearly fried Luigi.

            "Yaaaah!  Someone grab Ludwig's sceptre!"  Kevin grabbed the sceptre.

            Captain N said, "Prepare to meet your match, Prince Ludwig!"

            Ludwig fired a ray at Kevin.  "Not on your life, Lame Master!"  Kevin pressed 'right' on his Power Pad to move out of the way.

            Captain N said, "See how you like a taste of your own medicine, von Koopa!"  Kevin told the sceptre to enclose Ludwig in a magic-proof box.

            "Hey!" cried the evildoer.  "Let me out of here!"

            Koopa gasped.  "Let a pro handle that sceptre, Captain N!"

            Captain N said, "Not on your life, King Stoopa Koopa!"  Kevin wrapped Bowser Koopa up in mummy bandages.

            "Yipe!  I've been wrapped up!"

            "And now for you other four!"

            Koopa's mother cried, "Yaaah!  Larry, grab Bowser!  Lemmy, grab Ludwig!  A good Koopa knows when to fight and when to RUN!!!"  Larry grabbed Koopa, Lemmy grabbed Ludwig, and the Koopas ran like crazy into the warp to Metroid.

            Captain N laughed, "Ha, ha!  Thank you for the sceptre, Ludwig."

            "Get this junk off of me!" said Simon.

            "Yes, Simon."  Captain N fired the sceptre and freed Simon from his bandage prison.  "Now, it is time to change Kid Icarus and MegaMan back to normal."  Captain N did so with the sceptre.

            Kid Icarus said, "Whew!  Thank you, Kevin-icus."

            MegaMan said, "Thanks, Captain N."

            "You're all welcome."  Captain N fired the sceptre at Mario, and Mario revived.

            "Thank you, Kevin," said Mario.

            * * *

            Control Room, Metroid.

            MotherBrain asked, "You did what?  Mother Koopa!"

            Koopa's mother said, "Sorry, MotherBrain.  They had Ludwig's sceptre, and that is extremely powerful."

            Ludwig said, "I hate to be rude and blunt, but will you all please be quiet?  I am charging my power into another sceptre.  I used my sceptre to instil its power into myself.  This machine will operate correctly only if there is not too much noise.  If you must yak, either do it softly or in another room."

            MotherBrain said, "Yes, my dear son."

            "If you must do something noisy, electrify those stupid bozos we call assistants.  They always ruin everything."

            MotherBrain turned to face Eggplant Wizard, King Hippo, Mouser, Try-Clyde, and Koopa-Troopa.  "You fools!  You did not help at all!  You have ruined everything!"  She fried all of them as they were leaving.