July 31.

            Ludwig said, "This report must have ten billion things wrong with it!  You should, first of all, use white-out to eliminate these errors that you have crossed out.  'N-Team' is not spelled 'I - N - dash - T - e - a - m.'  It is spelled 'N - dash - T - e - a - m.'  'Eggplant' is spelled with two G's, not one.  In the date, you should use figures for the numbers.  It should read as the month name, the date in figure format, and the year in figure format.  'Get' has only one T.  'Come' should be used instead of 'came.'  'More perfect' should be used instead of 'perfecter.'  'Has been' should be used instead of 'have been.'  'Plot' has only one T.  The year is 1992.  The date is July 31.  And you should improve your style of hand-writing, Mr. Eggplant Dumb-head, or you are going out the door!  Type it correctly, and use the darn spell checker!  RIGHT NOW!!!"

            Eggplant Wizard said, "Okay, Prince von Koopa.  Whatever you say."

            "Bright lad."  Ludwig pressed a button on the right armrest of his chair.  A trap door under Eggplant Wizard opened, and Eggplant Wizard fell into a warp to his and King Hippo's 'bedroom.'  (Actually, the term is a bit extravagant for a room with little other than a bunk bed with ratty-looking sheets.)  "Now for you, King Hippo.  Let me see your report."

            King Hippo handed his report to Ludwig.  "I typed it, proof-read it, and retyped it while correcting the errors I had made, Prince von Koopa."

            Ludwig was pleased.  "Well, now.  This one looks much better."

            King Hippo's report looked and read exactly as follows:

            Ludwig said, "Well, well, well!  This is much better than that stupid vegetable's report.  I must praise you on such a neat report."

            King Hippo bowed.  "Oh, thank you, Your Majesty."

            "Believe me, I am very happy.  You did very well."  The door opened, and Eggplant Wizard entered the room again.  "Here comes that Eggplant Wizard again.  Is your report correct this time?"

            "It should be," Eggplant Wizard said.

            Ludwig took the report.  "Yes, it should be."  He read it.  "Mmm-hmm. . . mmm-hmm. . . well, this is much more like it.  At least you did something correctly."

            Eggplant Wizard said, "Thank you, Your Hairiness!"

            "Hm.  Now, let us get on with business, shall we?"

            MotherBrain said, "Yes.  King Hippo and Eggplant Wizard, Dr. Wily is just finishing his new batch of deep-sleep apples.  Captain N has left the Palace.  I want you to take the apples and feed them to those good-guy twerps still at the Palace of Power."

            King Hippo said, "Aw, MotherBrain!  Do you really think that we can pull this off?  Maybe there are others who are more qualified for a job such as this."

            MotherBrain said, "Oh, of course!  Thank you, King Hippo!  I was about to make a terrible mistake."  She turned on the radio communicator.  "This is MotherBrain calling Larry Koopa, Roy Koopa, and Wendy O. Koopa.  Come to my chamber right away, please."  In a few minutes, Larry, Roy, and Wendy came in.

            Larry asked, "What is it, O evil mother of all brains?"

            "I dig the plan of my loud-mouthed little brother, Morton," Roy said.  "It is so sneaky that I could almost go into Nightmare World myself and bully those good guy twerps to death!"

            "As long as I get what I want, I shall not complain," said Wendy.

            Ludwig said, "Her Braininess called you here because you are the best ones to do a sneaky job that she has planned."

            MotherBrain said, "Yes, guys; I want you three little darlings to feed those two princesses at the Palace of Power their apples. . . their deep-sleep apples!  Ha, ha, ha, ha!"

            Larry said, "Do not worry, O evil ones.  We shall do your bidding."

            "Give my regards to those sorry good guys," Ludwig said.

            Dr. Wily entered.  "The apples are ready, Mother - wheeze - Brain."

            MotherBrain said, "Good!"

            Larry pulled out a bag.  "I have a bag in which we may transport the apples.  Once in the Palace, we can feed them to those N-Team pests."

            "Good.  Put the apples in your bag and be on your way.  I shall be watching on my super space monitor," Ludwig said.  Larry placed the apples in the sack.  Ludwig pressed a button on the left arm cushion of his chair to go over to his super computer.  He turned on his super space monitor.  Then, Larry, Roy, and Wendy left to the Palace of Power through a warp zone.  They exited the warp zone in a hidden place inside the Palace of Power, near where Samus Aran, MegaMan, Kid Icarus, Princess Peach, and Princess Zelda were watching over VideoLand on the monitor.  Ludwig said, "It is now time to jam their TV signal for an 'Eggplant Bulletin.'  Ready, Eggplant?"

            Eggplant Wizard said, "Ready, Prince Ludwig!"

            * * *

            Congregation Hall, next to the Throne Room, Palace of Power.

            Princess Peach said, "I hope that Captain N and the others find Lana."

            MegaMan said, "I do, too.  I also have a feeling that something bad is about to happen."  On the monitor, a special message came up.  Ludwig and Eggplant Wizard had taken control of the antenna for a short time.

            Eggplant Wizard said, "This is a special Eggplant Bulletin!  The Palace of Power is under attack!"

            "What?" asked Peach.

            Zelda said, "There is no one here but us!"  The three Koopalings barged in.

            Wendy said, "That is what you think, Princess Numskull!  Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!"

            Roy said, "Now, do not try anything.  Just let me give you these deep-sleep apples, and. . . uh-oh!  I just made a big mistake!"

            "Yes, but we can still give some bad dreams to these April Fools!  Ha, ha, ha!" laughed Larry.

            Samus said, "That is what you think, Larry.  Give me those apples, or I shall blast you with my Wave Beam."

            Larry laughed, "Ha, ha, ha!  This female space officer in the space suit really sends - giggle, giggle - shivers down my spine.  Oh, I am so scared.  Ha, ha, ha!"

            Samus said, "I shall show you, Koopalings."  When she blasted, the beam shorted out as soon as it touched Larry.

            "Oh, that really hurt.  Giggle, giggle!  More like it tickled!  Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!"  That laugh got the laugh out of his system.  Now, he was more on the angry side.  "Now, if you do not mind, I would like to get this done today!"

            "It is arrow-time!" said Kid Icarus.

            Roy said, "Oh, yeah?  Well, now it is beat-up-Kid-Icarus-time!  Ha, ha, ha!"  Roy grabbed Kid Icarus and tossed him into the wall.

            "Ow!"  Wendy secretly grabbed and tied up the two princesses, sneaked them by the others, tapped Larry on the shoulder twice, and warped the princesses off to Metroid.

            Larry said, "Well, it has been fun, but we must leave.  It is almost lunch time."  The three Koopalings left.

            MegaMan said, "Well, that was strange.  Hey!  Where did the princesses go?"

            "We turn our backs for a minute, and they are gone," said Samus.

            Kid Icarus said, "That explains the Brain-Team's hasty retreat.  We must go immediately to Metroid and save the princesses."

            "First, let's call Captain N and the Marios.  They'll tell us what to do," MegaMan said.

            Samus added, "Let's call them before it is too late."

            * * *

            Control Room, Metroid.

            Ludwig was still watching on his super space monitor in Metroid.  "It is already too late, Samus."

            King Hippo said, "Is it?  I cannot get this Princess Peach Toadstool to keep her mouth open long enough for me to put the poison apple into it."

            "I shall help you," Eggplant Wizard said.  "Hold her mouth open.  I'll drop the apple into her mouth."  King Hippo held Princess Peach's mouth open.  Eggplant Wizard dropped in the deep-sleep apple.  She instantly went to sleep.

            King Hippo said, "Now, let's do the same with Princess Zelda."

            * * *

            Lemmy and Iggy's Castle, Dark Land, Mushroom World.

            Meanwhile, way across VideoLand at Dark Land in the Mushroom World, the Marios received the transmission from Kid Icarus.

            Mario said, "They did WHAT to the two other princesses?  Kidnapped them?  And now they are where?  Metroid?  Well, lay low for a while, or head for Metroid if you want to do so.  See you later."

            Luigi said, "This is terrible!"

            "Well, we'll save them after this," Captain N said.  The group went north a short ways.  "We are there."

            Mario said, " 'There' is Lemmy and Iggy Koopa Castle!"

            * * *

            Control Room, Lemmy and Iggy's Castle.

            Lemmy and Iggy Koopa were watching inside on their monitor.  Iggy said, "Yeah.  That's right.  Our hideout has the craziest format available!"

            "Iggy, let's give them a crazy time in the ol' castle tonight."

            "Great idea, brother Lemmy!  Bring in Dr. Wily's Gear Clowns!"  Lemmy pressed a button on their control panel to summon three of Wily's Gear Clowns, mechanical clowns on metal gears, to their chamber.  "Now, I want you three Gear Clowns to get out there and scare those N-Team bozos!"

            The first Gear Clown said, "You have it!"  The clowns warped to the front door.

            * * *

            Front Door, Lemmy and Iggy's Castle.

            Mario saw the Gear Clowns coming.  "-Gasp!-  I guess that that is the welcome wagon!"

            Captain N drew his Zapper.  "These fools are a cinch!  Stand back."  He fired his Zapper and hit one Gear Clown's gear, destroying the gear.

            The first Gear Clown screamed, "Yaaah!  Gear Clowns cannot walk!  I'll fall through the ground!  Aaaaaaaaaaa. . .!"  And he did.

            "He really fell for that one!" Kevin said.

            Simon said, "All right, you renegades from a tune-up shop!  Try tackling with Simon Belmont, the vampire hunter!"  Simon drew his whip.  He slashed it across another Gear Clown's gear and destroyed it.  This Gear Clown, too, fell through the ground to his doom.

            Mario got out a Fire Flower that he had grabbed along the way and transformed into Fire Mario.  "Let's see how you handle a little firepower, Gear Clown!"  He fired and destroyed the last Gear Clown's gear.  This last Gear Clown, too, fell to meet with death.

            Kevin said, "Come on!  Time is wasting.  We must reach the princess before midnight."

            Yoshi said, "Oooh!  Me scared of Koopaling Fortresses!  They filled with spooks and ghosts!"

            Luigi said, "There is a Thwomp Trap Stone right above you, Yoshi!"

            "Yaaah!"  Yoshi looked up and saw the Thwomp Trap Stone, then made a break for it before the Thwomp smashed him into a dinosaur-pancake.  "Oh, thanks Luigi!"

            Mario forced open the gate to the castle.  "Quickly!  Into the fortress!  It is safe at the beginning."  They all ran in.  In front of them, all they could see were bouncing fire rings.  "Oh, great!  Now, not even the beginning is safe!"

            Toad said, "I am sure that the others are doing much better than we are.  I bet that they have those cruddy Koopas begging for mercy right now!"

            Luigi said, "I extremely doubt it.  Yeesh, this looks hard!"

            Captain N said, "If I can press 'Up' and 'SELECT' on my Power Pad at the same time and the right time, we just might pause those loops in the right line and we may be able to make it through the trap.  If this doesn't work, though, someone will be able to serve us on a hot-and-crispy dinner platter."  He waited until he believed that the rings were at the correct angle and height for the trick to work, then pressed 'Up' and 'SELECT' on his Power Pad at the same time.  "Air-Run and Pause!"  They moved quickly to the end without a scorch.

            Once they had gotten through the fire rings, Mario said, "Whew!  Nice going, Kevin!  For a second there, I thought that we were going to be over-fried spaghetti noodles."

            "Uh, thank you, Mario.  Now, let's get to Lemmy's and Iggy's lair."

            Luigi said, "Uh, oh!  It looks like we shall have to deal with some renegade bouncing balls!  Look!"

            Simon said, "Oh, great.  Bouncing blue balls, probably created by those two Koopalings."

            Mario said, "Come on, Captain N.  Let's pulverise these renegade balls."

            "I'm with you, Mario," Kevin said.  He zapped some of the balls with his Zapper.  Mario blasted some with fireballs.  Yoshi used his tongue to eat some.  Simon used his whip to whip some of the balls.  When they were through, only a blue mess remained on the floor.  Duke made a loud bark.

            Toad said, "Maybe that will teach them not to mess with the N-Team."

            "I wouldn't count on that, Toad," Luigi said.

            Mario said, "Come on!  We cannot quit now."

            * * *

            Lemmy and Iggy were still watching on their monitor.  Lemmy said, "Those good guys have seen nothing yet!  Send in the foul balls!"  Iggy pressed a button.

            * * *

            The N-Team reached the area where the next trap would be found.  Luigi said, "Sheesh!  Can we not rest just a little longer?  I'm tired."

            Mario said, "We don't have time to rest, Luigi.  We have to rescue a princess."

            Kevin said, "Heads up, guys.  I think I see some foul balls!"  The foul balls that were flying towards them were shaped like baseballs, and they spat acid at the heroes.  Kevin fried several of them with his Zapper.  Mario got some more with his fireball.  Unfortunately, the spit-fire from one of the foul balls hit Mario, so he lost his firepower.

            "Uh-oh!  No more fireballs!" exclaimed Mario.

            "I shall get these foul spit-balls before you can blink!" Simon declared.  He whipped several balls.  Suddenly, Luigi found a warp formula while searching for a power-up in his pocket.

            Luigi said, "Hey, guess what I found in my pocket!  A warp potion!"

            "Give it to me!" Kevin said.  Luigi gave the potion to him.  Captain N threw it at the wall and formed a warp.  "Quick!  Get into it!"  All the good-guys entered the warp zone and escaped the foul balls' assault.

            * * *

            They emerged at the door to Lemmy's and Iggy's chamber.  Suddenly, Lemmy appeared to them in a hologram.  "Do you give up, or are you thirsty for more?" Lemmy asked.

            Kevin said, "You're on, you demented Koopaling!"

            "Let's see if you can defeat Iggy and me!"

            Mario said, "We shall make you regret that remark, Lemmy!"  Lemmy's hologram disappeared.

            Luigi asked, "Do we have to do it now?"

            Yoshi said, "I help fix Lemmy's wagon, Captain!"

            "I'll go along," said Toad.

            "I'm with you, Kevin," Mario said.

            "Well, I guess I can come along," Luigi said.  They all entered the red double-doors.

            Iggy's chair turned around so he could face the N-Team.  "Good day, foul goody-two-shoeses!"

            Lemmy announced, "Good day, N-Twerps!"

            "Where is the princess?" Kevin demanded in Spanish.

            Lemmy answered in Spanish, "She is in that room behind us."

            In English, Simon said, "Then, let us through!"

            "Never!" said Iggy.

            Mario said, "Oh, yeah?  See how you like a stomp, Iggy Koopa!"  Mario leapt high into the air.  He landed squarely on Iggy's back, and Iggy went into his shell and spun around the room for a few seconds, then emerged, dizzy.

            Iggy said, "Ow!  Oh!  Let me off at the next bus station. . . oh!"  He fell back-flat on the floor.

            Lemmy gasped.  "They've defeated you, little brother!  I think that it's time to retreat!"  Lemmy threw a warp potion on the floor.  He picked up Iggy, ran over to the warp produced on the floor, and stopped.  "As King Dad always says, he who Koops and runs away lives to Koop another day!  Good-bye, foul-weather enemies!"  Lemmy grabbed his twin and ran into the warp zone with him.

            Captain N said, "You sure squashed the brains out of Iggy!"

            Mario said, "Thank you, pal!  Now, let's free the princess."  They went into the room and saw the princess lying asleep on the table.  "It looks like she's all right.  Kiss her, Kevin, to make sure that this is not just another trick.  The Koopalings would never give up that easily!"

            Captain N thoroughly agreed.  "Right."  Captain N went over and kissed her.  Nothing happened!  "It is not working. . . again!"

            Mario said, "Let me try, Kevin."

            "All right, but just this once, Mario."

            "Of course."  Mario leapt on Luigi's back, Luigi being at the table on which Princess Lana was lying.  Mario bent over and gave Lana a kiss on the lips.  "Hey!  It's not working!"

            Simon said, "Ha!  You could not wake up a frog with a kiss like that!  Here.  Let me show you how a real man does it!"  He got out his comb (with the initials SB) and his mirror.  He combed his hair.

            Captain N said, "All right.  You look great.  Now, kiss her already!"  Simon Belmont kissed her.  Still, nothing happened.  "It's not working, darn it.  She's not waking up."

            Simon said, "Maybe it's my breath."  Kevin looked at the clock, which read, '0.00:01.'  (One second past midnight.  Hence, it was now August 1.)

            Captain N said, "It's too late."  MotherBrain's hologram appeared on the scene.

            MotherBrain said, "I cannot believe that you idiots fell for that trick again!  You cannot awaken her!  She and the other two princesses are in the Nightmare Universe, and you would have to go there to have any hope of saving them."  Just then, Ludwig von Koopa's hologram appeared.

            Mario exclaimed, "The evil Baron Ludwig von(Bowser)Koopa!  I might have known that you had something to do with this latest deed of foul-doing!"

            Ludwig said, "Ah, yes.  If you would like to awaken your worthless little princesses, just take a bite.  Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!"  A basket of Wily's deep-sleep apples appeared.  "But be careful, because in the Nightmare Universe, as you well know, your worst fears will come to haunt you!"

            MotherBrain said, "And you'll remember that the price for failure is never waking up!"  Both holograms disappeared.  Simon took an apple.  A worm popped out of it.

            Simon said, "Yuck!  No way am I going to eat one of these things!"

            Mario took an apple.  "Do whatever you want.  We are going after the princesses."  As soon as he bit the apple, Mario fell into a deep sleep.  Then, Luigi did the same; then Yoshi; then Toad; then Captain N; and finally Duke.  Simon picked up his apple.

            Simon said, "I cannot let any of them rescue the princesses.  It'll ruin my reputation.  Oh, well; maybe just a little bite."  When he got ready to bite, a worm popped out and bit him on the nose!  Simon fell asleep.  MotherBrain's and Ludwig's holograms reappeared.

            Ludwig said, "The fools!"

            "Do they not know that an apple a day keeps the N-Team away?" MotherBrain asked.  The two evildoers laughed.