Forest of Illusion, Dino� Land, Mushroom World.  [� - In these stories, 'Dino' is sometimes used to substitute for 'Dinosaur.']

Princess Peach Toadstool and the Spike Koopas were walking through the Forest of Illusion.  She found herself becoming attracted to King Spike Koopa; from their conversation, she was certain that the same story applied to him as well.  Princess Peach said, "Interesting life you've had, King Spike."

            Spike said, "I must say the same about yours, Princess Peach.  My brother and his rotten crop of Koopalings give Koopas a bad name.  Now, Bowser has tied the knot with MotherBrain.  Is nothing sacred?"

            "You and your Koopalings have ten times more manners than Bowser Koopa and his brute-group."  King Bowser Koopa and a bunch of Koopa-Troopas came from behind a nearby tree.

            "I quite agree," said the evil King Bowser.

            "Bowser Koopa!"

            "That's King Bowser Koopa to you, Princess Toad-stooge!"

            Spike said, "Hey!  Don't speak to her that way!"

            "Says who, brother?  I am going to capture her, and there is nothing you can do to stop me."

            Ludwig von(Spike)Koopa said, "Oh, yeah, Uncle Bowser?  Well, we shall see about that."  He drew a sabre and pointed it at Bowser.

            "Watch where you're pointing that!" said Bowser.

            "No need to worry, Uncle.  I learned from the best sword master in VideoLand.  I even beat him in our last sword fight match.  In fact, I even added my own moves."  He carved 'LDSK' in Bowser Koopa's king suit.

            "L-D-S-K?  What does that mean?"

            "It stands for 'Luis de(Spike)Koopa,' the Spanish equivalent of my name, and if you know what is good for you, you'll beat it immediately!  This sabre has a laser-blaster in the tip end.  You do not want to find out first-hand what it can do."

            "Yaah!  Evil Koopa Pack, retreat!"  The evil Koopas warped back to Metroid.

            Spike said, "You showed him, son!  Putting you through eight years of college was worth every penny I paid.  Ha, ha, ha!"

            "I didn't know that you knew how to sword fight, Prince Ludwig," said Peach.

            Sheathing his sword, Ludwig von(Spike)Koopa said, "I learned how to do it well."

            "You sure humiliated Bowser Koopa!"

            "Did I not, though?"

            Spike said, "Guys, I have to speak with her alone for a moment."

            "Sure, Dad," said Ludwig.

            King Spike and Princess Peach went behind a nearby tree.  "I hadn't said this before, but I have a proposal for you, Princess," said King Spike.

            "What sort of proposal?" asked Princess Peach.

            "A wedding proposal.  Sure, I may not be the most handsome guy in the world."

            Peach smiled.  "I'll accept if you let Dr. Wright give us the necessary examinations."

            "Certainly, my dear Princess Peach.  I have been thinking. . . most of my Koopalings do need a mother."

            "You have done a good job in rearing them."

            "Maybe, but they still may need a mother.  Besides, I feel that our kingdoms will benefit greatly from being combined."

            "I do, too.  Very well.  That is, if Dr. Wright sees that we have no diseases of a certain nature."

            "Certainly, my dear.  Let's go."  They returned to the Koopalings, and the whole group warped to the Palace of Power.

            * * *

            Control Room, Metroid.

            The Brain-Team was watching on their monitor in the control room. . . as usual!  Bowser said, "Imagine, the ultimate humiliation of having LDSK carved in one's king suit!  It's enough to drive one stark raving bonkers!  Eggplant Wizard, can you sew?"

            "No," said Eggplant Wizard.

            "WHY, YOU STUPID LITTLE SON OF A. . .!!!"

            "I won a quilting bee once," King Hippo interrupted.  "I can repair your king suit."

            "Very well.  Get to work."  Bowser handed his king suit to King Hippo, who immediately went to repair it.

            "Now let's see what those N-Twerps are doing," MotherBrain said.  The screen showed Dr. Wright's lab.  Princess Peach and King Spike, as well as the rest of the N-Team, were there.

            Dr. Wright said, "Okay, Princess Peach and King Spike.  I am legally authorised to grant marriage licences."

            Mario said, "Good choice, Princess.  I do not know how to run a kingdom."

            "Neither do I," said Luigi.  "While we can stop some evil, the two of us can't handle the problems of government."

            Spike said, "I believe that I can do well, however."

            "Okay, Princess Peach," said Dr. Wright.  "First, you sit in the examination chair."  She did so.  Dr. Wright pulled a lever on a machine.  A readout of Princess Peach's systems appeared on a screen that Dr. Wright studied for a short while.  "Let's see.  There are no diseases in your body at this time."

            "On Earth, you would have to have a blood test," Perry Mason said.

            "Well, Perry, that is unnecessary with this machine.  It is designed to automatically detect what every molecule and atom makes up within your body.  Okay, Princess.  You are all right.  Now, King Spike, it is your turn."  Once Princess Peach had gotten up, Spike Koopa sat in the examination chair.  Dr. Wright performed the operation on him.  "Well, let's see.  Nothing is wrong with you, either.  You are fine, too."

            "I'm glad to know that," said King Spike.  He got up and turned to Princess Peach.  "King Spike Koopa at your service, my lady."  He kissed her hand like the gentleman he was.  "I propose to marry you, my dear."

            "I accept," Princess Peach said.  Spike placed an engagement ring on her finger.  "You guys should have seen what Ludwig here did to Bowser Koopa's king suit!"

            "Blast!" said MotherBrain.  She activated her hologram projector.  "It was not funny, Princess Peach."

            Princess Lana asked, "What do you want, MotherBrain?"

            "What do I want?  I want to fry your hides and take control of VideoLand!  Good-bye!"  Her hologram disappeared.

            Zelda asked, "Do you suppose she's upset?"

            "She's just like my brother and his seven Koopa brats," Spike said.  "When shall we get married, my dear Princess Peach?"

            Peach said, "Whenever you want, King Spike.  I'll let you decide."

            Toad said, "This guy's a gentleman, not like nasty ol' Bowser Koopa."

            Spike said, "That evil brother of mine can be such a brute.  I don't profess to be perfect, but I try to be good."

            Peach said, "I almost married him once just to save my world from him."

            "Yes," Mario said.  "Good thing Luigi and I interfered, or he would be boss of the Kingdom of the Mushroom World."

            "And I would not be able to have the pleasure of marrying the more gentlemanly Koopa King," Princess Peach said.

            Spike said, "And I would not have the pleasure of marrying you, my dear Princess Peach.  I've been able to gain the support of nearly all the Good Koopa worlds within the half of VideoLand that the Mushroom Kingdom once controlled, and so as we marry, much of that region shall be united once again.  Where shall we get married?"

            "We can get married at my castle in the Mushroom Kingdom of the Mushroom World."

            "How about tomorrow at noon?"

            "Great idea, Spike."

            Simon was surprised.  "Tomorrow at noon?  Oh, that is such short notice for my tailor!"  He got out a computer from his backpack and keyed in some instructions.

            "Let's invite the rest of the N-Team," King Spike suggested.

            "Do you mean it, King Spike?" Kevin asked.

            "Why be so formal, Kevin?  All of you can just call us by our first names."

            Ludwig von(Spike)Koopa said, "Yes.  It is much easier to do so."

            Watching intently, Ludwig von(Bowser)Koopa laughed, "Ha, ha, ha!  What an opportunity this is!"

            "What exactly do you mean?" MotherBrain asked.

            "I can use my super-computer to switch Spike's and Larry's brains and have Princess Peach marry Larry instead!  Ooh, what a devious idea, and you know the law!"

            "Yes!  I am glad that you thought of it."

            Bowser laughed, "Ha, ha, ha!  If you can get Peach to marry Larry, the Mushroom World will be Larry's, even once you transfer him back to his normal body!"

            "Ha, ha, ha!  That is not all!  When Captain N and Princess Lana eventually decide to marry - I'm sure that they will - I can transfer my brain from myself to Kevin and marry Lana and become prince of VideoLand!"

            Bowser laughed, "HA, HA, HA!!!  SUCH A DASTARDLY IDEA!!!  HA, HA, HA!!!"

            MotherBrain said, "Your twisted, genius brain has done it again, Ludwig!  Ha, ha, ha!  I am so proud of you."

            Ludwig von(Bowser)Koopa said, "Ha, ha, ha!  I'll get to work immediately by inputting commands into my computer."  He went to his computer and begins typing the commands to his nefarious deeds.

            * * *

            Triforce Chamber, Hyrule Castle, Kingdom of Hyrule.

            Later, on Hyrule, in Hyrule Castle, Link and Zelda polished the three Triforces.

            Zelda cleaned the Triforce of Wisdom.  "Make sure that the Triforces are spotless, Link."

            Link was cleaning the Triforce of Courage and the Triforce of Power.  "You have it, Zelda.  These are going to be more spotless than a clean glass of clear water."  Once he finished, he said, "There.  They are all clean."

            "So is this one."

            "I did pretty well, didn't I?  Kiss me!"

            "Not yet, buster!"

            "All right.  I'm sorry.  Let's take them to Princess Peach's castle."

            �Ja, Link.  {Yah, lihnk.}  [German]  (Yes, Link.)"  They did so.

            * * *

            Throne Room, Palace of Power.

            Captain N entered the throne room and went over to Princess Lana.  "For some mysterious reason, I feel a little bit uneasy about something," he told her before she could ask.

            "What is it, Kevin?"

            "I don't know.  Samus, come over here, please."  Samus came from the computer that served as the Palace's security station.

            "What is it, Kevin?" asked Samus.

            "Could you get the GFP� to put patrol satellites in Metroid's region of space?  I feel that they are up to something over there."  [� - The Galactic Federation Police, a police squad stationed in MegaLand.  The GFP's responsibility was to keep safe the space that comprised the whole of VideoLand, which covered a third of the galaxy (Hyrule and the Mushroom World included).]

            "Will-do, Captain N."  She left through the warp to the GFP department.

            Captain N went to the security computer, activated the communicator, and said, "Lt. Tragg, Lt. Anderson, and Mr. Drake, come up here, please."  In they came, along with Hamilton Burger, Perry Mason, and Della Street.

            Hamilton Burger asked, "What is it, Kevin?"

            "I have a suspicion about something.  I know that King Spike is on our side, but I cannot shake this feeling that the wedding will somehow be sabotaged.  I would guess that the Brain-Team would be responsible."

            * * *

            Service Tunnel, Tourian, Metroid.

            Ludwig was working on a power relay to fix the cloaking device.  He was watching the N-Team with his portable monitor.  "Drat!  They're on to us!"  He emerged from the tunnel into the control room.  "I hope that got it.  Try to engage the cloaking device!"  Bowser pressed a button.  "Are we cloaked?"

            Bowser checked the status.  "No, curse it!"  His fist came down on an unimportant part of the panel.  "The cloaking device is still not calibrated to make us undetectable to electromagnetic readouts.  The light, which is supposed to go completely around us, is blurred, and the radio and infrared rays being emitted by the planet are not being hidden."

            "Blast it!  We cannot succeed in our attempts at conquest without the cloaking device!  Deactivate it."  Bowser did so.

            "The cloak is off.  I guess that we had better forget this plan."

            "Yes, gosh darn it.  I was hoping that I would be able to slip Larry into Spike's body so my brother would become ruler of the Mushroom World.  But I'd have to get Metroid close to the Mushroom World without its being detected immediately by the sensors in Peach's palace.  Wait!  I have a deliciously more evil plan.  Gather 'round!"

            * * *

            Princess Peach's Castle, Mushroom Kingdom, Mushroom World.

            Later, at Princess Peach's castle, King Spike Koopa's servants, who looked just like King Bowser's, were readying the castle for the wedding.  Spike said, "All right, Mouser.  You can sweep up some of this garbage for a considerable raise. . . say 100%?"

            Mouser said, "That's all right, King Spike."  He continued his cleansing operations.

            "You treat your servants well," said Princess Peach.  "I appreciate that."

            "Yes.  If you abuse them, why should they do anything for you?  Ludwig, come here."

            Ludwig von(Spike)Koopa went over to him.  "What is it, Dad?"

            "Show Princess Peach how well you can sword fight.  I took the same sword fighting class as you did.  I am almost as good as you are, but not quite."  Spike drew his sabre and put a protective round ball on the end.  Ludwig did the same.  They then put protective masks on for their swordplay.

            "All right, Dad.  En garde!"  They began a sword fighting match.  The skills of both were quite excellent, though Ludwig did better and defeated his father after a few minutes.

            Spike removed his mask.  "Touché, son.  Another gracious victory as usual."

            "You're a good sport, Dad."  He took the ball off the tip of his sword and put both the ball and sword away.  So did Spike.

            Peach said, "You both are very good."

            "Just wait 'til you see Ludwig play his violin," said Spike.

            * * *

            Control Room, Metroid.

            MotherBrain laughed, "Hee, hee, hee!  So, those two think that they can sword fight well, do they?"

            Ludwig von(Bowser)Koopa said, "Let them try to beat me.  I had a good instructor, too.  I can control my hands, arms, feet, and legs so that I can sword-fight twice as well as the two of them combined.  True, I may be no Zorro, but I should be able to outfox those goody-two-shoeses.  Ha, ha, ha!"  The Spanish word zorro meant 'fox,' and it was after the fox that the character Diego de la Vega dubbed his secret identity, Zorro.  "I have been saving this laser-sabre for just this circumstance."  He went into a closet, got a sabre handle, and closed the closet door.

            "What good will a sabre handle and hilt do without a blade?" MotherBrain asked.

            "This is no ordinary sabre, my dear MotherBrain."  He pressed a button on the handle.  A stream of light came out.  "The blade of this sabre is made of laser light and phased matter.  It will burn through my cousin's steel sabre more easily than a hot knife through butter."

            Eggplant Wizard said, "Ooh!  Let me feel!"

            "Okay, but anything more than the slightest touch could scorch you or cut your finger off."

            Eggplant Wizard made the slightest touch with his fingers.  "Ooch!  Boy, that is hot!"

            "This is just the thing to use against those do-gooders."  He pressed another button on the handle, and the blade of light disappeared.  "Unless one is an expert sword fighter, it would be extremely unsafe to handle one of these laser-sabres.  I got my idea from watching the Star Wars movies from the United States of America on Earth, but not even Luke Skywalker's light sabre is as scorching as this.  This will aid me in my plan that I proposed earlier, right after my plan for entering Spike's, Captain N's, and Link's bodies and marrying the three princesses was automatically foiled by my snap judgement. . . and our stupid cloaking device."

            MotherBrain said, "Oh, yes.  Telephone Hamilton Burger for me, please.  I want to get him P.O.ed."

            "Yes, my evil brain."  He turned on his radio.  "This is Ludwig von(Bowser)Koopa calling Hamilton Burger.  Please come in."  Hamilton came in on the screen.

            Hamilton asked, "What do you want?"

            "Hey, Ham Burger!" said MotherBrain.  "Have you prosecuted so many people that you had to start prosecuting chickens?  Ha, ha, ha!  Or maybe some leeches?  Or. . . I know!  You had to start prosecuting cacti!  Ha, ha, ha!  Or maybe bacteria!"

            "If you want to be sued, keep that up."

            "Oh, all right.  You're no fun, you know.  Good-bye."  She turned off the radio.  "He is a spoil-sport, is he not?"

            Ludwig von(Bowser)Koopa said, "I have a matter of business."  He turned on the radio.  "This is Ludwig von(Bowser)Koopa calling Perry Mason.  Please come in."  Perry Mason appeared on the screen.

            "What is it, Ludwig?" asked Perry.

            "Perry Mason, guess what I made for myself?"

            "What?"

            "I made myself a laser-sabre. . . you know, something like what Luke Skywalker and Dearth Vader used in Star Wars.  I just thought that I'd tell you.  This is more powerful than Luke's.  I learned fencing from a master."

            "Well, that sounds. . . wonderful."

            "Thank you.  I'm also trying to invent a cloaking device, like the Romulans have in Star Trek:  The Next Generation, for Metroid, but it doesn't work right.  Well, I would stay and chat, but I have sword-fighting practice to do.  You know what they say, Perry Mason,. . ."

            Perry and Ludwig said, ". . .practice makes perfect."

            "I should be grateful if you would inform Captain N for me.  I shall see you later."

            Perry said, "Good-bye, Ludwig."  Ludwig shut off the communicator.

            * * *

            Throne Room, Palace of Power.

            Perry Mason arrived in the Throne Room.  Captain N said, "Oh, hello, Perry.  Excuse me!  Mr. Mason, I mean!"

            Perry said, "You needn't be so formal, Kevin.  You can call me Perry if you want to do so, and you can use the familiar form in French when speaking to me."

            "Is something wrong, Perry?" Lana asked.

            "Ludwig von(Bowser)Koopa called.  He told me very convincingly that he made a laser sabre stronger than what Luke Skywalker was supposed to have in Star Wars.  Ludwig also told me that he had learned fencing from a master.  He is also trying to invent a Romulan-style cloaking device for Metroid but he has been unsuccessful so far."

            Captain N asked, "Laser-sabre?  Sword skills?  A Romulan cloaking device?  Why, that rat!  Ludwig 'Kooky' von(Bowser)Koopa is crazy!"

            "He could be watching, Kevin."

            "Well, he can know that I think that he is loony toons!"

            Ludwig von(Bowser)Koopa appeared in a hologram.  "Now see here, Captain N!  I may be crazy, but I am not loony toons.  Wile E. Coyote and Bugs Bunny are Looney Tunes.  I am a loony Koopa!  Ha, ha, ha!"  He disappeared.

            "The nerve of the scoundrel!"

            Perry said, "He is crazy, isn't he?"

            * * *

            Control Room, Metroid.

            King Hippo entered the control room with King Bowser Koopa's suit, which he had completely repaired.  "I have finished, King Bowser."

            "Ah!" said Bowser.  "As good as new.  Thank you, King Hippo."  He put his suit back on.  "Lookin' good, your royal Koopaness!"

            Ludwig von(Bowser)Koopa said, "Extremely good, Dad."

            "Ah!  Thank you for that appropriate correction, my son."

            "Mouser, find Dr. Wily and ProtoMan; get to work on that darned cloaking device with them!  I at least want light to go around this planet correctly when I get back!"

            "Yes, sir, Prince von(Bowser)Koopa," said Mouser.

            * * *

            September 9.

            Church Sanctuary Chamber, Castle Church, Princess Peach's Castle, Mushroom Kingdom.

            At noon the next day, many were gathered to watch the ceremony of the marriage between Princess Peach and King Spike Koopa. . . even the Brain-Team!  King Spike's best man was Mario.  Princess Peach's bridesmaid was her soon-to-be stepdaughter, Wendy O. (Spike)Koopa.  The one to marry them together was good ol' Perry Mason, authorised to do this by the government of VideoLand.  It was now just after Princess Peach had marched down the aisles.

            Perry said, "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness the bondage between Princess Peach of the Kingdom of the Mushroom World and King Spike of the Good Koopa Kingdom.  With their union, their kingdoms also unite into one.  King Spike Koopa, do you take this lady to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, to worship as long as you both shall live, until you are parted by death?"

            Spike said, "I do."

            "And do you, Princess Peach, take this gentleman to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, to worship as long as you both shall live, until death do you part?"

            "I do."

            "Can anyone show just cause for which these two should not be married?"  No one spoke up.  "Who presents Princess Peach, the bride this day, to be wed to King Spike Koopa?"

            Mario arose.  "I speak for the entire Mario-Team.  Since evil forces have prevented her father from being present, we present Princess Peach Toadstool to be wed to King Spike Koopa."  In truth, Bowser had killed Princess Peach's father.

            Perry asked, "Who presents King Spike Koopa, the groom this day, to be wed to Princess Peach?"

            Ludwig von(Spike)Koopa said, "The other Spike-Koopalings and I do."

            "Then, by the power vested into me by the government of the Kingdom of VideoLand, I declare that you are man and wife.  Have you the wedding ring, King Spike Koopa?"

            Spike removed the wedding ring from the pillow.  "Yes."

            "Then, repeat after me:  'With this ring, I thee wed.' "

            "With this ring, I thee wed."

            "Please place the ring on her finger."  King Spike did so.  "Princess Peach, have you a wedding ring?"

            Peach removed same from the pillow.  "Yes."

            "Then repeat after me:  'With this ring, I thee wed.' "

            "With this ring, I thee wed."

            "Please place it on his finger."  Princess Peach did so.  "King Koopa, you may kiss the bride."  King Spike Koopa lifted Princess Peach Toadstool's veil.  He and Princess Peach kissed.  "The Lord be with you all."

            After this statement, Princess Peach and King Spike Koopa marched back up the aisles as was traditional.  The N-Team and other invited guests went to the reception, which was downstairs.

            * * *

            Reception Chamber, Princess (now Queen) Peach's Castle.

            Spike said, "Thank you for being my best man, Mario."

            Mario said, "Oh, it was nothing.  I have my speech all ready already."

            Peach said, "Hello, Mario."

            "Hello, Queen Peach."

            "Yes, I guess that I am a queen now."

            Spike announced, "Queen Peach Toadstool of the Kingdom of the Mushroom World and the Good Koopa Kingdom."

            "And now, you are King Spike Koopa of the Kingdom of the Mushroom World and the Good Koopa Kingdom," Queen Peach said.

            "And now I am probably Prince Ludwig von(Spike)Koopa of the Kingdom of the Mushroom World and the Good Koopa Kingdom, eh?" Ludwig von(Spike)Koopa said.

            Mario said, "Yeah, Ludwig."

            Toad asked, "I'll still be the leader of her Mushroom Retainers, shall I not?"

            "Of course you will, Toad," said King Spike.  "Your privileges and duties will remain the same."  In came some uninvited guests, the Brain-Team.

            Ludwig von(Bowser)Koopa said, "Hello there."

            Mario exclaimed, "Prince Ludwig von(Bowser)Koopa!  I might have known that you would crash the party!"

            Bowser said, "Oh, really, Mario.  We may be low-down rats, but we are not that low-down.  We just dropped by for a little chat."

            "Right.  Hello, sister-in-law Peach," MotherBrain said.

            Peach sighed.  "I guess that I am sister-in-law to a huge cerebrum."

            "Yes, Queen Peach of the Good Koopa Kingdom and the Kingdom of the Mushroom World.  I am legally a queen, also.  I am queen of the Evil Koopa Kingdom."

            "Bowser, guess whom I invited," said Spike.

            "Who?" Bowser asked.

            Mother Koopa rushed into the room.  "Me!"

            "Not you!  If he invited you, WHY DID HE NOT INVITE ME?!?  LIFE IS NOT FAIR!!!"

            Mother Koopa whacked Bowser in the head with her purse.  "Shaddup, you bad boy!  Ever since you got that brain transplant, you've been a bad boy!"

            "Mother," interrupted Spike, "we have so much to catch up on."

            "Yes, we do, Spike.  You can come and listen, Peach."

            Peach said, "Okay."  The three left to chat alone.

            Bowser said, "Okay, Mario.  You do not have to start a fight just because I am around."

            "Oh, yeah?  Says who?" said Mario.

            "I say," Kevin said.

            "Kevin, what. . .?"

            "Sorry, Mario, but my instructions are to keep watch and to make sure that no fights are started."

            Tragg said, "So are mine, Kevin."

            "So are mine," said Andy.

            Tragg said, "Mario, I would hate to arrest you for disturbing the peace, pal.  Just be careful."

            "Don't worry, Tragg," Mario said.  "He was just warning me.  I needed no warning, though."

            Samus came.  "Quit bugging the plumber, Lieutenant Arthur Drag."

            "Blast it, Chief Aran!  Ever since I met you, I've disliked you strongly!" Tragg said.

            "Why?  Because I'm also chief of the Vice Squad in the VideoLand Police Department?"

            "Yes!  In less than five percent of your work, you deal with Mason!"

            "Good!  His clients are usually innocent!  If all the people caught were guilty, life would be a lot easier!"

            "You get to deal with the stuff that gets in the paper:  gambling, prostitution, immoral crimes!  I work on homicides.  If you pick up someone who's been doing too much raping, you get your darned face on the front page, but, if I pick up someone who's been doing too much murdering, the people just put my name in the paper!  They've even left off a G from my name!  You're no better an officer than I am!"

            Mario said, "Well, it looks like Lt. Tragg and Chief Aran have found something to argue about."

            Ludwig von(Bowser)Koopa said, "Do not worry.  I shall not start any fights.  Captain N, Perry Mason may have told you that I made myself a sword with a laser blade."  Ludwig took the handle of his sword and pressed the button that made the laser blade appear.

            Captain N said, "Whoa!  How hot is it?"

            "It can cut through a thick cutlass more easily than a hot knife through butter."

            Ludwig von(Spike)Koopa asked, "Is that so, cousin?  Can it beat my sabre?"  He drew his sword.

            "I strongly suggest that you not use your best sword, cousin.  You might regret it."

            "Well, I have an old cutlass that is not nearly as valuable as this."  He put his sabre away and left the room.  When he came back a few minutes later, he had an old, almost worthless cutlass in his hand. . . worthless, that is, except for its strong blade.

            "Simple matter," said Ludwig von(Bowser)Koopa.  "Hand me that if you please."  Ludwig von(Spike)Koopa handed the cutlass to Ludwig von(Bowser)Koopa.  Ludwig von(Bowser)Koopa held his laser sabre in his right hand aiming in front of him and the old cutlass in his left hand with the blade across the front of his body.  "Observe."  He held his sabre up in the air, then brought it down with great force and easily sliced the cutlass into two pieces.  "Oh, darn!  That was a tad bit too hard.  I shall have to turn up the power."  He turned a dial on the handle slightly after pressing the button that made the laser blade disappear.

            Ludwig von(Spike)Koopa said, "Wow!  Kevin, remind me never to sword fight with my cousin."

            "Relax," said Ludwig von(Bowser)Koopa.  "According to my list,. . ."  He got a list of something out of his shell.  ". . .I have made a large number of them."

            "A large number?" Kevin said.  "Might that not be a bit too many?"

            "Not in the least, Captain N.  There are some things that I am not going to disclose at this time.  Think about what Dr. Wright told you about earlier, very soon after Perry helped you win the case in which you were accused of stealing the Sacred Square."

            "I've forgotten what he said."

            "Oh, you'll remember in due time.  Meanwhile, we have business to which to attend on Metroid. . . like getting a stinking cloaking device to work right!  Come, my villainous Brain-Team associates."  The Brain-Team left through a warp to Metroid.

            Captain N said, "Whatever he means, I cannot think of it."

            Lana said, "Don't worry about it, Kevin.  Let's just have some fun, shall we?"

            * * *

            September 15.

            Triforce Chamber, Hyrule Castle, Kingdom of Hyrule.

            For about a week after the wedding, peace was held for the whole week. . . everywhere except for Hyrule, that is.  Mysteriously, for the last three nights of the week after the wedding of Peach and Spike Koopa, the alarm at Hyrule Castle seemed to malfunction nine times.  However, there was a reason for those 'malfunctions'. . . Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo!  Each time, they came in through a warp in the ceiling.  This ninth time was no exception.  After landing, Eggplant Wizard said, "There are the Triforces!  Have you the magic spell that the evil Ludwig gave you, King Hippo?  We need it to deactivate Princess Zelda's alarm."

            King Hippo said, "Of course I have it, veggie dumdum!"  He went through his pocket.  "Laundry list, fortune cookie fortune, letter from Mama. . . hey, no problem!  I memorised the spell!"

            "You know, if we mess this up, Ludwig might fry the both of us!"

            "Not if I fry you first!  Let's see. . . eye of frog and newt of quail. . . or was that snewt of frog and eye of snail?. . ."

            "Now you've done it!  You have to say it in German, you imbecile!"

            "Uh, oh!"  The Triforce's alarms and defences went off!  Laser beams were shot out at King Hippo and Eggplant Wizard.  Eggplant Wizard hopped up to the warp zone and pulled in King Hippo with his Veggie-Wand.  They had left before Princess Zelda's and Link's sentries had arrived to see what was going on.  The guards were confused; no one was around.  They were safe, though; the defence mechanism would not target them, Link, or Zelda.  Zelda came in and turned off the alarm on the Triforces.  Link ran in, ready for a fight with the Master Sword in his hand.

            Link asked, "What's going on in here?"

            Zelda was infuriated.  "This is the last time I get up for an alarm malfunction.  This makes nine times in the last three days!"

            Link yawned and sheathed his sword.  "Well, what can we do about it?"

            "Well, I'm going back to sleep.  You should organise the sentries to guard the Triforces."

            "Me?"

            "I have complete confidence in you.  Good night, Link."  Zelda returned to her bedroom as Link looked at the sentries.

            "All right, guys."  He pointed to two.  "You two go outside the castle and help guard the palace gates."

            "Yes, Link," the two sentries said, saluting.  They left.

            Link pointed to two other sentries.  "You two guard the door that leads here from the Grand Hall."

            The two sentries saluted.  "Aye, sir."  They left.

            Link told the three remaining sentries, "You three stay in here.  Make sure no one reaches the Triforce."

            "Aye, Link," the three sentries said, saluting.  Link left the room to the Grand Hall.  (The only entrances were via the Grand Hall and via Zelda's room.)  He wished he could go back in time and tell his ancestor not to give a certain command to the Triforce.  Before that command, the Triforce would serve only the first person to touch it.  The first person to touch it was Ganon.  Link's ancestor gained the Triforce by destroying Ganon; he did much good in his day with the power of the Triforce.  The princess of that time married Link's ancestor.  The Triforce would only obey the ancestor; that changed when the ancestor ordered it to obey whoever touched it.

            Link realised that it was intended as an unselfish act.  The princess of that time two thousand years ago was a good person; she and Link's ancestor used the Triforce to do good.  However, the ancestor's order that the Triforce obey whoever was touching it was flawed; if MotherBrain or Ludwig von(Bowser)Koopa or any other villain got the Triforce, they would have unquestionable control over it.

            Link reviewed his history in his head.  Two thousand years ago, his ancestor, whose name was also Link, destroyed Ganon and gained control of the Triforce.�  A year or two later, the earlier Link visited other lands on Hyrule controlled by the Kingdom of Hyrule to learn fighting strategies and to gain greater knowledge and wisdom.  He had a dream wherein his ship was wrecked and he landed on Koholint Island, learning that his only way to escape was to awaken the Wind Fish.  The Wind Fish was sleeping in its egg on the highest peak on the island.  It could only be awakened by the Seven Instruments of the Sirens, which were locked in dangerous dungeons.  He survived his adventures and awakened the Wind Fish�.  When he woke up, he remembered the details vividly enough to write down the entire adventure.  Everyone, even the MegaLandian scientists, had always been baffled by the dream; very few people had dreams they remembered so vividly.  The earlier Link described everything, including a girl named Marin, who taught him the Ballad of the Wind Fish.  It was this piece that had to be played on the seven instruments and a flute to awaken the Wind Fish.  Marin so resembled the princess that the earlier Link could not distinguish.  In any case, the details that the earlier Link recounted were so real that some have proposed that it was not a mere dream.  For two centuries, the MegaLandian scientists have been unable to determine what really happened to the Link of two millennia ago.  [� - This is chronicled in The Legend of Zelda:  A Link to the Past.  � - This is chronicled in The Legend of Zelda:  Link's Awakening.]

            The year now was 1992; the year wherein Link's ancestor defeated Ganon was 0.  The script of the dream, entitled My Strange Dream on Koholint Island, bore the Royal VideoLandian Publication Date 15 July A.D. 5.  At the end, it clearly stated its author's uncertainty that it was, indeed, merely a dream.

            Hyrulian history was infamous for a couple of stretches of time where little history was written.  The second of these eras was from 850 to 1492; it was during this time that the Triforce of Courage, one of the three pieces that makes up the whole Triforce, was lost.  From 1492 to 1949, the whole world was the victim of merciless attacks by Ganon, and the Triforce of Power mysteriously vanished.  Hyrule disintegrated from the beautiful and powerful kingdom of Link's ancestor to a rural kingdom unable to rule the rest of the world.  Poor Princess Zelda was born on 1 January 1972.  It was on 10 January 1974 that Link was born on Hyrule. . . and Kevin had been born on Earth the previous day!  (Technically, Kevin was only about twelve hours older than Link.)  In 1988, Ganon had recovered the Triforce of Power and Zelda had the Triforce of Wisdom; the Triforce of Courage was still lost.  Zelda broke the Triforce of Wisdom into eight pieces and hid them throughout Hyrule where Ganon could not find them.  After killing her father, Ganon, alive and well despite being supposed to have been 'destroyed' by the earlier Link, captured her and tried to make her tell him where the Triforce was but to no avail.  Link was told of the capture by Zelda's governess, Impa, whom he had rescued from Ganon's henchmen.  He set out to reassemble the Triforce of Wisdom and rescue Zelda and the Triforce of Power.�  He succeeded; within a week, the Triforce of Power and the Triforce of Wisdom sat in the Castle of Hyrule, and Princess Zelda ruled the land.  Despite the massive harm that Ganon had inflicted, Hyrule easily grew out of poverty, and the power that it had held returned.  The Kingdom of Hyrule ruled the Planet of Hyrule once more.  [� - This is chronicled in The Legend of Zelda.]

            In 1990, however, Zelda fell into a coma.  Link had had suspicions that Ganon was not defeated yet; this verified it.  Link had the symbol of the completed Triforce on his hand; a wise and ancient woman told him that it was his destiny to find the Triforce of Courage to complete the fractal. . . three Triforces forming one whole Triforce.  Only when the Triforce of Courage was recovered could Zelda reawaken.  So, Link set out to find it.  He had to sharpen his magical skills and sword-fighting techniques.  He had to destroy guardians in several palaces and set crystals in the palaces to be able to enter the final palace.  In the end, he had to fight his own shadow!�  [� - This is chronicled in Zelda II:  The Adventure of Link.]

            Needless to say, he succeeded in this quest, and the Triforce was finally complete once more, the way his ancestor had found it.  Now, Ganon, MotherBrain, and Ludwig von(Bowser)Koopa were allies, and they would be dangerous in the extreme if they got their evil paws on the Triforce.  They would not, if Link had his way.

            * * *

            Control Room, Metroid.

            Metroid, still not cloaked properly, was about half a billion kilometres away from Hyrule, and the evil Ludwig was watching what was going on.  He was in his motorised chair.  "Excellent.  Zelda turned off the alarm on the Triforces."  He turned his chair around to face the doorway.  "Hee, hee, hee!  Sentries, bah!  The Triforces are as good as belonging to my kooky clan, MotherBrain, and me. . ."  He looked at King Hippo and Eggplant Wizard, who were in the doorway.  ". . .the instant I get rid of you two poop-heads, that is."

            Eggplant Wizard said, "-Gulp!-  Get. . . rid of us?"

            "I meant, put you on paid vacation.  Have fun!  Ha, ha, ha!"

            "We shall!" said King Hippo.  "How long?"

            "One week."

            "Thank you, Prince Ludwig," said Eggplant Wizard.  He and King Hippo went to their room to pack.

            After the fools had left, Ludwig said, "Ha, ha!  I do not need them for this caper. . . nor need I a blasted cloaking device!  Once I have the Triforces, I shall have the power to wake up Ganon and conquer the galaxy; then, I'll have an army!"  He pushed a lever on his chair.  Mechanical devices fitted his chair up with all sorts of cannons and an army tank.  "Let Eggplant and Hippo go on paid vacation forever.  Ha, ha, ha!  Admiral Ludwig von(Bowser)Koopa is taking command!"

            * * *

            In their room, Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo were packing their bags.  "Paid vacation for a week," Eggplant Wizard said.  "Where shall we go?  What shall we do?"

            King Hippo said, "Frankly, my dear Eggplant. . . I know!  We can steal the Triforces for Prince Ludwig."

            "What about Zelda and Link?"

            "We'll fix them."

            * * *

            MotherBrain arrived in the control room.  "-Yawn!-  Oh, Ludwig!  What is going on?  You look like you're ready for battle."

            Ludwig von(Bowser)Koopa laughed, "Ha, ha!  Zelda and Link have finally turned off the alarm on the Triforces!"

            "Ha, ha, ha!  I'll only be a second, dear."  She pressed a button on the wall.  She was fitted with all kinds of cannons and a battle tank.  "Hee, hee, hee!  Those two potato-heads of ours could never do anything right!  Hee, hee, hee!  Let's go.  General MotherBrain. . ."

            Ludwig continued, ". . .and Admiral Ludwig von(Bowser)Koopa. . ."

            MotherBrain and Ludwig finished together, ". . .are taking command!"  They left through the warp to Hyrule.