Act 48 - Date: 18 December 1992
Section 4: The Extended N-Team
Part 1: The Ultimate Encounter
Fifth Division - Capture of Darkwing
Twentieth Chapter
Characters: Darkwing's Justice Ducks, N-Team Secret Division, Brain-Team Base, Fearsome Ten
December 18.
Negaduck and Steelbeak's Lair, Saint Canard, Darkwing's Earth.
A "You will never get away with this, Negaduck," said Hooter.
This, thought Darkwing Duck, is so humiliating! When no evil person was looking at any of the N-Team members, Darkwing reached with his bill and grabbed with the end of his beak one of his cufflinks and pulled it off, after which he spat the cufflink on the floor. Smoke appeared and engulfed the entire N-Team. When the smoke cleared,. . .
"Hey!" shouted Negaduck, falling out of his chair. He got up. "They're gone! All our goody-goody captives are gone!!! How did they do it?!?"
Bushroot went over and smelt the remains of the smoke. "Hmm! That's Darkwing Duck's trademark smoke! We forgot about his smoke-cufflinks!"
Negaduck angrily smacked his right hand across his face. "Grrrrrrr! That means that they could all be all the way to Hawkhaven by now! Oh, my gosh! What shall we do?!?"
Steelbeak calmly said, "Ah, I didn't want to catch them that way, anyway, Negaduck. No problecimo."
"Darkwing Duck escapes," said Mega Volt, "and you call it no problem? You must be mad!"
Liquidator said, "Don't worry until Ludwig von(Bowser)Koopa gets back. Are you bored out of your skulls? Are you tired of waiting for the rain to clear up? Are you so terminally bored that you find excitement in counting the tiles in the ceiling? Well, have those blues no more! Engage in life-threatening combat with the N-Team!"
"You're insane, Liquidator!" said Mega Volt. "How the hell are we going to do that? If we did that, I'd be liable to lose my charge. Then again, it would be worth it! I can shock the devil out of Hawkhaven!"
"That," said Liquidator, "is not all! Tired of petty larceny? Is even the grand larceny of tens of millions of dollars not enough for you? Do you wish for quintillions of dollars to knock on your door and come in just for you? The Liquidator has the answer: go to Duckburg and rob blind the money bin of the ultimate money-grubbing tycoon, Scrooge McDuck!"
Negaduck's eyes widened. He leapt in the air in joy. "Yahoo! The crime of the millennium! Ha, ha, ha!"
"Yes," said Steelbeak, "but how are we going to enter the building and sneak out with all of that cash? I mean, there must be billions of coins and bills in there. Hey, maybe I ought to use one of the bills in McDuck's bin to replace this one on my face! Hah, hah, hah!"
"Oh, very funny, Steelbeak," said Ludwig von(Bowser)Koopa, coming in and obviously hearing the nutty rooster's wise crack.
Sweating profusely, Steelbeak said, "Oh, uh, Prince von(Bowser)Koopa! We've stowed. . ."
"Shush!" said Ludwig. "Don't lie. I know perfectly well what happened: Darkwing Duck plucked off one of his cufflinks and made himself and everyone else on the N-Team appear at Hawkhaven in Limbo."
Steelbeak said, "Sorry, boss."
Ludwig went over to Steelbeak and examined him closely. "You must have no idea how my vast brain works. You see, I wanted Darkwing and his pals to escape."
"You what?" asked Negaduck, obviously puzzled.
"So," said Ludwig, ignoring him, "now that Darkwing has escaped, we have an excuse to blow him and his friends away! Ha, ha, ha! As if we needed one, of course."
"Ha, ha, ha!" said Liquidator. "I've planned a robbery, evil Prince von(Bowser)Koopa. It involves the money bin of that rich quack, Scrooge McDuck."
"A robbery of that place? Have you lost your watery marbles?"
"No, I've carefully thought this out," said Liquidator. "Since when can anyone in here but me sneak in through Duckburg's pipe system, carefully travel through the maze of pipes to McDuck's money bin, drain out all the money, and bring it all back here?"
"Ha, ha, ha!" laughed von(Bowser)Koopa, getting a huge map out of his pocket. "For some reason, I was compelled to print a map the pipes and sewers of Duckburg, Saint Canard, and the intersections. Since this map has been printed by a super computer, you should not have much of a problem entering the money bin through the sewers and pipes." Liquidator took the map and carefully examined it. He got an evil smile across his face.
"Tired of being in the poorhouse all the time?" asked Liquidator. "Has life not given you a suitably large amount of money? Well, then, go with the flow! Try the Liquidator brand, guaranteed to bring you quality products every single time! If it is not there within the hour, you have not ordered the Liquidator brand! Five hundred thousand million billion trillion quadrillion quintillion, one hundred trillion, three billion, four hundred seventy-eight million, twelve thousand, one hundred thirty-three dollars and ninety-nine cents coming your way right now . . . guaranteed!!!"� Liquidator turned on the water at the faucet. "Tah-tah!" He leapt into the drain, leaving for the money bin of Scrooge McDuck! Quacker Jack turned off the water. [� - The billions, trillions, and above are all American, due to the background of Darkwing's Earth.]
"He must be crazy," said Quacker Jack. "He must take after you," said Mega Volt.
Bushroot said, "Liquidator is really going to give us liquid assets! Ha, ha, ha!"
"Pipe down, plant-brain!" snapped Mega Volt.
"Hey!" said Bushroot. "Don't you order me around, watt-brain!"
"Watt's the matter?" said Mega Volt. "How about I have fried vegetables for lunch?" Mega Volt illuminated Bushroot with a megawatt of electricity.
Bushroot screamed, "Yaaaaaaaah! Okay, Mega Volt! You've asked for it!" Something chomped his leg and held on. "Ouch! Quacker Jack!" It was one of Quacker Jack's lethal wind-up snap-teeth.
"That," said Quacker Jack, "is for messing with Mega Volt."
"Oh, I forgot," said Bushroot. "You two freaks're pals."
"That's right," said Mega Volt.
Steelbeak said, "All right, you three! Enough is enough! Let's wait until the Liquidator gets back with all that moolah! Hee, hee, hee!"
Ammonia Pine said, "Yes. He'll really clean out that rich tycoon's money bin! Ha, ha, ha!" Steelbeak removed a remote control from his pocket.
"Now," said Steelbeak, "to make a report to the High-Command of F.O.W.L.!" He pressed a button on the remote control. The Vulture-Leader of High-Command appeared, along with the Duck-Leader. "Hello, High-Command. This is Agent Steelbeak."
"I see," said the Vulture-Leader. "Prince von(Bowser)Koopa has told us of the intended escape allowed the N-Team by you. Well-done, Agent Steelbeak."
"Where is Agent Liquidator?" asked the Duck-Leader, looking around the room, seeing every super-villain but Liquidator.
"Well," said Steelbeak, "the Liquidator has gone to pull a heist. A really modest amount of money. . . say, a withdrawal of five hundred thousand million billion trillion quadrillion quintillion, one hundred trillion, three billion, four hundred seventy-eight million, twelve thousand, one hundred thirty-three dollars and ninety-nine cents from Scrooge's piggy-bank?" The Duck-Leader's eyes widened.
"Five hundred thousand million billion trillion quadrillion quintillion, one hundred trillion, three billion, four hundred seventy-eight million, twelve thousand, one hundred thirty-three dollars and ninety-nine cents?" asked the Duck-Leader of F.O.W.L. High-Command. "Has the Liquidator lost his soggy mind?"
"He says," said Steelbeak, "that he's sneaking in through the pipe system."
"Right," said Negaduck, "so we should be getting a cash flow in less than an hour." A bunch of Darkwing's trademark blue smoke appeared in the room. "Uh, oh! It's Dimwit Duck again!"
Darkwing's voice said, "I am the terror that flaps in your pipes! I am the hairball that clogs your drain!" Darkwing appeared and, holding his cape to its longest span, said, "I am Darkwing Duck!" He released his cape and got out his Gas Gun. "Suck gas, evildoers!" Mega Volt charged up.
"Prepare to eat volts, Dimwing Duck!" said Mega Volt. He blasted a stream of electrons at Darkwing Duck, who ducked them. (Appropriate, is it not?)
The Vulture-Leader and Duck-Leader both said, "It's Darkwing Duck! Stop him, Agent Quacker Jack!"
Quacker Jack reached into his pocket and withdrew a pair of snap-teeth. "Prepare to be eaten, Drollwimp Dumbo!" The snap-teeth flew out of his hands and went after Darkwing Duck.
"Think you can put the bite on me?" asked Darkwing. "How about some Novocain Gas?" Darkwing fired a gas pellet at the teeth. This pellet contained Novocain, which sealed the teeth in a closed position.
"My teeth!" said Quacker Jack.
"Suck tear gas, evildoer!" said Darkwing, firing a gas pellet at Quacker Jack. This pellet exploded when it hit him and released tear gas, which caused Quacker Jack to cry.
Quacker Jack, with tears streaming down his face, said, "Wah, hah, hah! Sniff, sniff! You play rotten, Dark - sob! - wing Duck! Sob, sob, sob! Waaah!" He got out a handkerchief and blew his 'nose.' Darkwing went over to the water fountain. He turned off the water flow with a valve and disconnected the water pipe from the water storage area.
"Oh, I so hate lead poisoning," said Darkwing. He attached a hose with a nozzle to this pipe. He turned the valve back on. "Prepare to be short-circuited, Mega Volt!" He turned the nozzle so that water was thrust out of the hose.
"Uh, oh!" said Mega Volt. He had barely begun running before the water hit him and shorted his circuits out. "YAAAAAAH!!! I'M BEING SHORT-CIRCUITED!!!!!" Within a few moments, Mega Volt quit sparking. "My power! My beautiful power! Damn you, Darkwing Duck!!! When I get recharged, I'll fry your tail feathers off!!! I already have a score to settle with you!!"
"How long ago did the Liquidator leave?" asked Darkwing.
"I see that you got the tape from the real Tally-Hawk," said von(Bowser)Koopa. "Mon*Star noticed that the Tally-Hawk he had was a fake. I knew that you would notice that Liquidator left for the money bin of Scrooge McDuck."
"Negaduck, fry that blasted duck's feathers off!" ordered the Duck-Leader of F.O.W.L. High-Command.
"I'll leave that to my criminal compatriots," said Negaduck.
"Are you not duck enough to do your own work?" taunted Darkwing.
Negaduck said, "Why, you are absolutely right, Darkwing." Negaduck tripped Darkwing by swinging his leg into both of Darkwing's. Darkwing fell on his back.
Quacker Jack, regaining his crazy humour, said, "Have a nice trip!" Negaduck then grabbed Darkwing by the front collar, swung his fist, and whacked Darkwing right in the beak. Darkwing crashed through the window. He fell to the ground from the second-tallest skyscraper in Saint Canard. Quacker Jack said, "See you next fall! Ha, ha, ha!"
Negaduck confidently said, "That's the last we'll ever see of Darkwing Duck."