Steelheart's Office, Hawkhaven, Limbo.

At Hawkhaven, Darkwing and Wilykat were arguing once again.  "Listen, kitty boy!" spouted Darkwing.  "You should have called me when they caught you!"

            "They bound us, remember?" said Wilykat.  "How could we call you if we were not free?"

            "You should have called me before they fried you!"

            "They sprang out of nowhere!  Mega Volt followed the radio waves from our radios; that's how they found us!  We were attacked just when your communication to us cut off."

            "Well, cat-brat, you should have been on your guard!"

            "And when will you quit using nasty names, Darkwing Duck?  I wonder what would have happened if you had delayed any after calling Mega Volt 'Sparkie,' Quacker Jack 'Chuckles,' Bushroot 'Melon-head,' Liquidator 'Waterhead,' and Ludwig 'von Stoopa'!  You'd have probably gotten your just desserts!"

            "Speaking of desserts, I am hungry.  Where are the cookies, Steelheart?"

            "Now, Darkwing," said Steelheart, "your idiotic scheming might have gotten all three of you killed!"

            "So?" said Darkwing.  "It's not like anyone died!"

            "That's not the point, Darkwing Duck!" said Wilykat.  "Why were you so caught up into seeing what they were talking about, anyway?  You got nowhere. . . and it wasn't your job to do what 'Kit and I were supposed to do!"

            "You're just about to annoy me with this purely trivial nonsense, Thunder Kitten!"

            "Just about to?  You sound annoyed already!"

            "I came along because I felt that I could teach you two something.  It seems to be that you don't like me."

            "Well, I assure you that that is not our fault."

            "Oh, so you're blaming me?  Well, at least Mega Volt didn't decide to raise too much static with the two of you!  Maybe I ought to have just stayed here."

            "Yes, maybe you should have!"

            "Thanks for the reassurance, pal."

            "What took you so long to get out, anyway, Darkwing?" asked Wilykit.

            Darkwing said, "Thou too, young lady?"

            "I just asked, duck!  No one's trying to incriminate anyone here!  It's just a blasted question!!"

            "-Sigh!-  I just followed Ganon and Agahnim and planted a listening device in their main chamber. . . wait a minute!  That device!  And I bet that you, Wilykat, thought that I was very crazy in the head!"

            "You are!" said Wilykat.

            "Grrr!" growled Darkwing.  "All right, already!  Sheesh!  I've had it!  Maybe next time, Steelheart will tell us which of us is the leader.  Heh, heh, of course, I hope that there shall not be a 'next time.' "

            "Well, at least there is one thing on which we agree.  Now, is putting that listening device in there why you risked our necks?  If we had gone along with you, we might not have been caught by Mega Volt, Liquidator, Bushroot, Quacker Jack, and Prince Ludwig."

            "If's mean nothing, Wilykat.  And there is no guarantee that Sparkie, Waterhead, Melon-head, Chuckles, and von Stoopa would not have caught us."

            "Are they getting on your nerves, Steelheart?" asked Wilykit.

            "Yes, they are," said Steelheart.  "IF YOU TWO CANNOT REACH AN AGREEMENT IN THE NEXT FEW SYLLABLES, JUST SHUT UP!!!"  Darkwing and Wilykat stopped arguing.  "Thank you very much.  My ears have just about had all that they can stand.  What is the point of your 'little discussion'?"

            "He's blaming me for our getting caught by von Stoopa and the Fearsome Four," said Darkwing.

            "That's right," said Wilykat, "because you, Dipwing, did not allow us to enter the Tower with you!"

            "That is because I was worried that you would get hurt!"

            "Oh, sure.  Steelheart sent Wilykit and I to see what the Brain-Team was doing, not you!  She just called you so you could drag me along for the ride!  I knew I should have just gone along, but no.  I was too blasted scared."

            "Don't you know that you used a personal pronoun incorrectly, Thunder Kitten?"

            "See?  Anything will annoy you!"

            "Guys!" said Wilykit firmly.  "You're getting a little loud again."

            "I'll ask you what's wrong, Wilykit," said Steelheart.  "If your brother tried to tell me what happened, Dimwing wouldn't let him get a word in edgewise.  Now, young lady, please tell me what the devil happened!"

            Wilykit explained, "We warped into a conduit on Metroid.  That conduit led to the Control Room.  The first complaint came almost immediately.  Wilykat complained about it being hot, and Darkwing got angry.  We followed the scent of Bushroot's putrid stinkweed to the Control Room, where the villains were conversing.  Mega Volt got planted by Bushroot when he called the plant 'Melon-head'; Mega Volt fried Bushroot when the plant called him 'Sparkie.'  Sparkie - Mega Volt, I mean - stormed out of the room.  When Quacker Jack warned Bushroot about not getting on Mega Volt's bad side - QJ called MV 'Sparkie' - Mega Volt sent a huge bolt of electricity to fry Quacker Jack and sent a yell in which he called Quacker Jack 'Chuckles.'  QJ yelled about that, then Negaduck called Liquidator 'Waterhead.'  Liquidator whacked Negaduck into the wall, then they made a list about their most-hated nicknames.  Prince Ludwig then made a threat on his intercom to his two idiots, Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo.  He said that they'd better be up there as quickly as possible or that he'd fry them.  They were a nanosecond late.  Now,. . ."  Darkwing burst out laughing.  "Ahem!  Darkwing, they were!"

            Darkwing said, "Oh, sorry!  Hee, hee!  It's just that you make it sound so funny on the retelling!  Ha, ha, ha!  Don't mind me, Wilykit.  Go ahead."

            "Anyway," said Wilykit.  "Where was I when I was so RUDELY interrupted?  Oh, the dimwit servants.  After Ludwig informed the two imbeciles that they were a nanosecond late, he thrust a microphone into the hands of that idiotic Eggplant Wizard, and he told veggie-breath - Eggplant Wizard, I mean - to call Mega Volt.  King Hippo suggested that he say, 'Hi, Sparkie!  This is the Eggplant Wizard.'

            "That stupid Eggplant Wizard did that very thing.  Mega Volt came in, yelled at Eggplant Wizard, and fried him.  After that, he fried King Hippo when Mother Brain told him - Mega Volt - that King Hippo told Eggplant Wizard to call Mega Volt 'Sparkie' on the radio.  King Hippo himself made then the extreme mistake of calling Mega Volt 'Sparkie,' after which Mega Volt shocked him.  Afterwards, King Hippo called Liquidator 'Waterhead,' so Liquidator had Mega Volt help him to boil King Hippo; then, Liquidator whacked King Hippo with a water-mallet.

            "Ludwig informed the Fearsome Four that he wanted to go with them to Hyrule to talk with Ganon about something.  Then, the cloaking device blew a fuse and failed completely.  When the five left, DW asked why they would want to go to Hyrule.  Wilykat suggested that he might want to ask Ganon to grab the Triforce; DW corrected by positively saying that the turtle definitely wanted to ask Ganon to grab the Triforce.  DW then created a warp to Hyrule, which he immediately entered and which grew so that Wilykat and I would fall in.

            "More argument ensued in the Eastern Palace, where Darkwing, saying that it would take too long, objected to taking the first dungeon path and searching all paths in order to find Ganon.  Wilykat asked for suggestions and called DW a 'fat idiot.' "  There was some minor giggling by Wilykat.  Wilykit continued, "DW demanded that Wilykat have more respect and asked me if he really looked fat.  I basically said 'no'; then, DW suggested that we go straight to Ganon's Tower in Death Mountain.  Wilykat said no to it on the justification that we would be fried before we got far if we did not take his path first and that, if we took his path, 'we'd be well-equipped to defeat all of Ganon's monsters on the way.'  Dumb ol' Dingbat Duck, here, said that it was absurd, that his Gas Gun has an endless supply of gadgets which would help us get through there.  I suggested that we go to Hyrule Castle first so that Link, if in possession of items for getting there, might give us the items we need to get to Ganon's Tower.  I said that, that way, we could take DW's short path and remain in the number of pieces in which we were born.  When Darkwing said, 'Let's go,' I shook my head and said that it was pouring harder, that we were going to wait until the rain reached a lower level of concentration.  After he questioned my decision I gave him a piece of my mind.

            "Later, at Ganon's Tower, DW decided to go in alone and leave us here as lookouts, saying that, if any villains who particularly loved 'duck stew and kitten fricassee' came along, we were to take care of them.  Wilykat, who wanted to go along, mumbled, 'Okay,' then Darkwing entered.  I called the quack back because Wilykat had crossed his fingers behind his back.  Darkwing told him that we - Wilykat in particular - had better stay put or he - Darkwing - would have a rather anger-toned chat about him with Tygra.  He also told us to come in and look for him if he was not back in five minutes and had not called us.  He said that, if it appeared that he was caught, we were to go to Hyrule Castle and inform Link and Zelda and that, then, we were to call you Silver Hawks and the other Thunder Cats.  When Darkwing re-entered the Tower, Wilykat had the dubious distinction, if you may, of 'thanking' me for calling Darkwing and having his head bitten off by that nut again.  After a little conversation, we did what Wingie had said to do.

            "After several minutes, Darkwing called us on the radio to inform us that Ludwig and the Fearsome Four were leaving and that we were to keep out of their way.  Well, Mega Volt obviously traced the radio signal and found us out there.  He caught us in one of his 'electro-prisons.'  Liquidator said that that was for being there.  The villains, except for Liquidator, hid back inside the Tower.  Liquidator hid in the cloud and came down when Darkwing exited the Tower.  Mega Volt, Bushroot, and Quacker Jack pounced on Darkwing and tied him up in one of Bushroot's vines.  Then Ludwig came out and mentioned us.  Mega Volt had us hidden behind his back, 'attached' to his right index finger by a bolt of electricity.

            "When Bushroot told us that Ganon was going to take the Triforce, Mega Volt dropped us inadvertently, released us from his electricity accidentally, and ran over to Bushroot.  He microwaved Bushroot when Bushroot was going to tell us when Ganon was going to do it.  He even used the word that begins with 'D' in describing Bushroot's hide, and DW said, 'Tsk, tsk, Sparkie!  You shouldn't use profanity. . . especially not around kids.'  Before Mega Volt fried DW, Liquidator stopped him, telling him that the race would be off if Mega Volt fried Darkwing.  Liquidator liquidated Mega Volt when Mega Volt called him 'Waterhead.'  When Mega Volt called Quacker Jack 'Chuckles' in asking him whether Liquidator had a bad temper, Quacker Jack tossed a set of snap-teeth onto Mega Volt's muzzle.  Mega Volt fried the snap-teeth off of his muzzle and asked QJ if he would like to be electrocuted.  QJ called MV 'Sparkie' in a rebuke, so MV electrocuted him anyway.  After two or three more speeches from the two, Bushroot reprimanded them.  Bushroot only yelled when QJ called him 'Melon-head.'  Bushroot yelled at Darkwing when DW called him 'Bush-brain.'  Wilykat said that he and I would love to stay and hear them squabble but that we had to get back to Hawkhaven.  Liquie argued with Wilykat about the necessity to get back to Hawkhaven a little, and their discussion terminated when Wilykat made the mistake of calling Liquidator 'Waterhead.'  Liquidator did nothing but form his fist into a telephone and call you, Steelheart.  I'm sure you know what the conversation was about.  When you heard Bushroot, Mega Volt, and Quacker Jack shout simultaneously, that was because Liquidator called them by their hated nicknames.  I heard that watery dog say something about our being in mint condition.  Then, Bushroot untied DW, and Ludwig made a warp to Hawkhaven for us.  DW let the two of us into the warp first, and then called back 'Farewell' and the villains' hated names, and he then stepped quickly through before they had a chance to fry him.

            "And that," concluded Wilykit, "my dear Steelheart, is all of it."

            "Okay," said Steelheart.  "Thank you, Wilykit.  Wilykat and Darkwing, that was the truth, was it not?"

            "It was," said Wilykat, embarrassed at his behaviour.  He did not realise how childish it was.  He would have to control himself in the future.  Of course, half of it was Darkwing's fault, but Wilykat knew he caused some of it.  He should have agreed to go in the first place; that way, there would have been no Darkwing tag-along.

            "It was," said Darkwing Duck, mortified.  How dare that girl!  "That cute little rat!"

            "My sister's no rat!" said Wilykat.

            "Well, the truth's something else on which you two agree," said Steelheart.  "I thank you, you three, even if you didn't get along - oh, how shall I say it? - perfectly.  DW, good night."

            "Good-bye, Steelheart, Thunder Kittens," said Darkwing Duck, who then left.

            "I want to talk with Wilykat alone for a moment, Wilykit," Steelheart said.

            "Okay," said Wilykit.  She left the room.

            "What is it, Steelheart?" asked Wilykat.

            "How well did you get along with that stupid quack?" asked Steelheart.

            "Plainly and simply, I did not."

            "I see.  Why is that?"

            "He's so bossy and conceited.  Unless he makes the suggestion or agrees with it, he says 'no.'  It also seems to me that, if he does not get his way, he'll get very perturbed."

            "That's a summary of Darkwing's ego in a few sentences, Wilykat.  It's his way or no way for him.  However, he does go along with someone's plan if it suits him.  One just has to know how he operates, that's all.  Of course, he goes along if he's ordered to."

            "He's probably a good enough crime-fighter," remarked Wilykat.  "Something else, Commander.  I was wondering. . . is there any way in which Wilykit and I can learn one of your languages?"

            "Well, you know one already:  English!"

            "I know that!  I mean one of the other Western languages."

            "If you know English well enough," said Steelheart, "French, Spanish, Italian, or German might suit you.  Cheetara said you had a language called Ancient Thunderian."

            "Yeah.  She said it's similar to Italian."

            "I know several different languages, most especially English, French, Spanish, Italian, and German."

            "Which do you like the most?"

            "Probably French.  I, myself, have too much about which to worry to teach it to you two; maybe Kevin, or someone else."

            "Okay.  Did you get out of me what you wanted to get out of me?"

            "Yes; thank you very much.  Now, I would like to talk to Wilykit."

            "All right.  I'll see you later, Commander."

            "See you later, Wilykat."  Wilykat opened the door, said something to Wilykit, and exited while Wilykit entered.  "Hello again, Wilykit.  I want to know what you think of Darkwing Duck."

            "He's an obnoxious, self-centred, egotistical maniac who never comes short of loving to get his own way!" answered Wilykit with much emotion.  "I've never seen a person so. . . ugh!"

            "Well, now that I know your opinion of him is so strongly negative," said Steelheart.  "Your brother at least controlled his reaction when I asked.  Wilykit, have you any good opinions about him?"

            "I have to ponder that."

            "Okay.  You don't like him."

            "I don't like him.  I don't hate him, but I don't like him, either."

            "I understand.  When Wilykat finished talking about Half-wit-egotist Dippy-duck, he. . ."  Steelheart was given no chance to finish the statement.  The interruption was a prodigious laugh on the part of Wilykit.  "What is so funny?"

            Wilykit, unable to stop laughing, said, "Ha, ha, ha!  What you - tee, hee! - called Dark - ha, ha! - Darkwing Duck!  Ha, ha, ha!"

            Smiling, Steelheart said, "Well, I never dreamt that you would find that so funny!"  Steelheart could not resist for much longer; soon, she burst out in laughter.  "Okay, Wilykit!  Ha, ha!  Okay.  Let's stop, now."  In a few moments, the two ladies had regained their composure.  "Okay.  Now that we have stopped that silly laughing, I shall try to tell you again.  When your brother quit talking about the egotistical quack, he mentioned something about his and your being interested in learning a European language.  Is it so?"

            "Yes, Steelheart," said Wilykit.  "Back on Thundera, my brother and I had the highest scores in language studies.  Well, actually, we had the highest in everything.  Everyone did well in our education system, due to its flexibility, but he and I were. . ." - she looked a little embarrassed - "well, I hope I don't sound like I'm bragging or anything."

            "Certainly not.  However, like I told him, I shall not be able to teach you, as I have other duties that require my attention.  I also told him that you might ask someone else if he or she has the time to teach it to you.  To him, I suggested Captain N, and I suggested French.  Kevin's pretty good at the language.  Got it?"

            "Yes," said Wilykit.  "If there is nothing else, my bro and I shall be off."

            "Then, you may be off," said Steelheart.

            "Thank you.  I'll see you later, Steelheart."

            "I'll see you later, Wilykit."  Wilykit left and joined Wilykat.

            "Well," said Wilykat as the two walked toward the elevator, "How did it go?"

            "Pretty well," answered Wilykit.

            "I heard some intense laughter in there."

            "I began it.  It was what Steelheart called Darkwing Duck."

            "What did she call him?"

            "I'll not tell you until we're out of hearing range, because you will probably laugh your head off, also."

            "Go ahead.  If we wake up everyone, I'll accept full responsibility."

            "No, we'd better wait, Wilykat."

            "Would you do it if. . ."

            "I said no, Wilykat!  If you insist, I'll never tell you!"

            "All right," said Wilykat.  "Little spoilsport!"

            "Knock it off," commanded Wilykit when they entered the elevator.  They rode down the elevator toward the hangar floor.  "So, you asked her about the language studying?"

            "Yeah," said Wilykat.  "Did you?"

            "Yes.  We got the same answer:  learning French under Captain N."

            "Kevin."

            "Hm?"

            "He prefers Kevin."

            "Oh, yeah.  Brother, if you think I betrayed you in there. . ."

            "No, I don't, Wilykit.  I behaved like such a complete idiot around Darkwing; I'm ashamed of myself."

            "I see.  I really don't blame you; that quack could bring out the worst in me, too."

            "So, what'd Steelheart call him?"

            "Nice try."

            "Sorry."  The elevator stopped at the hangar, where the Thunder Kittens disembarked and warped to Cat's Lair.